I received a very polite email from an editor of a prestigious online lifestyle magazine twice over as many months—I had been in the past honored with publication.

It’s been a long while since I had committed anything to paper—in part to a life deliberately led and a removal from extraneous duties. Selfish really, this time I have spent in what seems like a digital respite.

What did I learn, you ask?

Biological Destiny: The term used by an English Department head who has a great head of hair and a smile that says, “I’ve really enjoyed my life.” Suddenly, I see my bits and breasts in a whole new light. I’m not sure how I feel about this entirely, but I will say that for me, the idea of what a woman is if she chooses not to have children is at once both liberating and misogynistic…I think.

Archiving Photos: This has given me the opportunity to reflect, via image, on what has occurred over the last ten years of my life. I got to tell ya, pretty fucking epic—and better than I would have imagined for myself. (Which gets me to wondering if there is something to that whole, “manifest destiny” thing, cause if so, I should totally aim higher.)

Body Image: Everyone’s is distorted. Mostly.

Value of Life: My Grandmother Keta died. I was able to go home over the last holiday (the first in many years) and say goodbye to a pivotal woman in my life. That she happened to share the same blood seems odd to many of my Metropolitan friends, since we all moved to the city “to escape our past” and “find something more.” My views of this particular relative have always been one of great esteem. I miss her and I wonder now of the space after this life. I’m not sure what I make of the veil—I’m not even sure how exhaustive I believe the Koshas are.

Self-employment is intense: Many things at once. Brightly colored. Refreshing, challenging, rewarding, hysterical, deeply humbling, nurturing, clarifying and refining; At times even annoying. In a word: epic.

Perceptions Shift: With the start of a new relationship, a new business offering, a diversifying of time and activities, I have been stretched all the way to my limits (and more than a few times past them) yet I’m feeling the most invigorated and connected I’ve ever felt in my life. I am not sure I’m doing anything particularly well, but the way at which I attend to the majority of my life is in a state that I can be proud of. It is mostly deliberate. I do leave room for surprises. I could maybe laugh more. I’m still breathing and smiling earnestly!

I once was in the bookstore in Columbus Circle and stood in front of a Karen Armstrong book. There was a quote of hers that grabbed me—I yearned for the feeling that inhabited her words but I didn’t yet understand how focused once must be or the design of life that would sustain what she described. Something to the effect of living a life in which we share the revelations of our personal journey—she may have used the word meditations. It had a lot to do with the Golden Rule.

Over the past few months, I have labored willingly in the pursuit of life lived in harmony. One sought to embody the feeling of her great message that my soul only seems to comprehend. Is that what they mean by dharma? So far, so good.

I can always crack out and obsess over a few details that seem to slip my reach, but all in all I am satisfied. Contented. I am not sure where I am headed, but I do have a few irons in the fire.

I would like to think I will become more punctual all around—I wonder if there is some missing scheduling gene that artists and creative are spared from. I hope that if that is true that I have just enough to keep me in the good graces of others.

I am very grateful for all I have…for all that is.

So, back to the mat and into Agni sar in Utkatasana—it’s all I have been prescribed by my teachers, in addition to laughter and water.

Like I said, so far, so good.

 

Shelley Adelle: Yoga Teacher, Spiritual Enthusiast, Experimental Human: With a passion for yoga and energy work that is accessible Shelley brings joy to each class and encourages you to connect to the voice of the great teacher within! A former military brat, farm girl from Texas, soap store goddess & actress Shelley spent almost ten years in NYC where she studied with the top teachers in the industry including Shiva Rea, Dharma Mitra, Anna Forest, Jonathan Fields, Schuyler Grant, and many others. An artist, life-coach, reiki practitioner, writer, blogger, studio mama hen & friend…check out more at www.yogapagodavero.com or follow her on Twitter.

 

 

 

 

 

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Ed: Bryonie Wise

Source: designspongeonline.com via Michele on Pinterest