And modern gentleman with 10 or more meaningful relationships under their belts cathartically giggle/cry everywhere:
Try to see things my way. We can work it out. I need you to just listen. Thank you. Stop trying to fix the problem. Ow!
A mature observation. “I’ve learned with my wife to basically listen, and then before offering any advice ask her if she wants any suggestions. Usually if I ask if she wants my input she will say yes, but if I just offer it she can get frustrated.
I think part of this just stems from the fact that I cope with frustrating problems by working to solve them, where my wife copes with problems by talking about them. This isn’t even to say that one is more effective than the other; many problems don’t have attainable solutions, but for me the act of trying something helps me cope. Depending on the problem trying to solve it vs talking about it may or may not be the healthier route. Endlessly talking about an easy to solve problem isn’t good, but neither is endlessly trying to solve the impossible, delaying acceptance.
That said, when the problems are solvable and if your partner isn’t actually solving it on their own then for both your sakes you should help them with it. Usually though you should bring up solutions outside of their conversations for handling the frustration, so they get their coping time, and then you can help nudge them in the right direction.”
Relephant bonus: Debunking the New Age Myth of Completeness.
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