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- You can enjoy elephant on the subway or train, instead of looking out the window, or allowing yourself to just be
- You can enjoy elephant on the toilet, instead of getting the hell out of there, it stinks buddy
- You can enjoy elephant while wheeling your child around in a huge stroller, instead of helping your child slowly walk, and enjoying the miracle that is parenthood
- You can read elephant while waiting for a movie to start, instead of eating tons of gmo $10 pop corn.
- You can read elephant while hiking, or sitting by a stream, instead of enjoying all that Nature
- You can read elephant while waiting for your teeth to get cleaned or your tush to be enema’d
- You can read elephant instead of paying attention to the class you/your parents are paying 1000s of dollars for
- You can pretend to read elephant so that the girl across the cafe will think you’re deeply feeling, sensitive, yet funny and socially-aware—none of which is true
- You can read elephant while climbing, and dying
- You can read elephant while driving—and run over elephant founder Waylon Lewis on his bike. Again.
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