WTF Would Gwyneth Do? ~ Kate Bartolotta & Bryonie Wise {Video}

Via on Jul 18, 2013

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Today’s juice post has been brought to you by the letter “F” as in, it is too f*cking hot out to accomplish anything useful.

Kate says:

You know how it is.

You try to cram two days worth of work, chores, errands and just…life…into one day. A brutally hot day, at that.

You do all of your regular holistic goodness that makes you feel shiny and new on most days. You start with water and lemon. You do your tongue scraping. You neti. You juice. You have a nice macrobiotic/raw/vegan/whatevershotrightnow lunch. You workworkworkworkworkwork—Primary Series—workworkworkwork—do some laundry—workworkwork.

And then you look up from all of it and feel a little exhausted and overwhelmed by it all—juice or no juice. And you ask yourself (of course) the question all good holistically oriented hippie yoginis ask themselves at such moments:

What Would Gwyneth Do?

Of course, Gwyneth would grab some more juice, call Madonna, f*ck Chris Martin, calmly glide through all of it in a perfect linen outfit while her home and children were tended to by other people.

And then she’d listen to some Coldplay (naturally), feel all fixed up and be her unflappable self, despite the bazillion degree heat and craziness.

Okay, I’m not mocking Gwyneth. I actually have a lot of respect for the fact that she acknowledged that recovering from pregnancy—physically and emotionally—are difficult, even with the team of help she had.

But really, when it’s insanely hot out and it feels like I’ve worked a million hours and gotten about half-way through, I’m going to make myself this for while I study my Chinese Medicine textbook:

berry

Frozen strawberries,

lime juice,

a little extra water,

fresh basil

and chia seeds.

I’m going to crank the air conditioning, strip down and hang out in half-handstand for a bit until my brain quiets down.

And then I’m going to listen to this woman, who sums up this point in the summer more accurately (with adult language):

P.S. Why do they call swearing “adult language”? Shouldn’t adult language be things like “escrow” and “fiduciary”?

P.P.S. If you’ve never tried strawberries and basil together, you are missing out. Do it!

P.P.P.S. Two thumbs way up for naked air conditioned half-handstand. You need to try it. Right now.

 

*****

Bryonie says:

I’m too busy hanging out naked in front of my air conditioner in half-handstand to add anything else—Kate pretty much said it all.

P.S.: Check out these cucumbers we grew in our garden (and by we, I mean my love who does all the gardening and growing).

IMG_8999P.P.S: My day consisted of eight hundred jars of water; tonight, after I returning home from teaching, I made myself a fresh jar of water, with mint and lemon, along with a smooth-juicy: avocado, frozen pineapple, frozen cherries, a scoop of almond butter and water.

P. P. P. S.: I’ll have more to say tomorrow, I promise.

 

 

 

Follow the moment-by-moment details of our juicing adventures on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter with #kandbjuicecleanse.

Have any great juice recipes that make your heart beat quicker? We’d love to hear them!

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Photo: via Pinterest

 

About Kate Bartolotta

Kate Bartolotta is the strongest girl in the world. She is the love child of a pirate and a roller derby queen. She hails from the second star to the right. She doesn't know how to behave with all the apples and ibexes. She doesn't suffer from her eight million freckles, she loves them! Like a rolling stone, Kate gathers no moss. Kate loves kale, being barefoot, Dr. Seuss, singing too loudly, gallivanting, palindromes, blackberries and has far too many books for her own good. When she's not writing, you can find her practicing yoga, running in the woods, playing with her kids, devouring a book, planting dandelions, changing the world and doing her dishes. Kate does not play the accordion. She is a massage therapist, writer and a compassionate friend to all. This year Kate aspires to finally give up on learning to knit and will instead spend that time putting a little bit more of her heart on the page. Connect with Kate on Facebook and Twitter

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