Advice to All the Single Ladies. ~ Marilyn J. Owen

Via Marilyn J. Owenon Aug 20, 2013

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Date yourself.

In fact, take yourself up the coast for a romantic getaway.

Right now.

Do it!

Throw a bag in the backseat, crank up the iPod and roll the windows down so you can feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your skin. Sing as loud as you can.

When you find that little café that overlooks the sea, ask for a seat by the window and order the most expensive dish and the finest wine—you deserve the best.

Don’t take a book or check Facebook on your phone, give yourself your undivided attention. Savor the meal in silent rapture, let the flavors linger on your luscious lips and incite your taste buds to orgasmic pleasure. Then, look for that cozy bed and breakfast you read about in the Times five years ago and check yourself in.

Flirt with the one who shows you to your room as if you were in love with the world, then throw yourself passionately onto the big comfy bed with 700 thread count sheets and a down comforter. Sink into that linen embrace and hold yourself tight. Caress one silky shin with your other pedicured foot and cradle your precious face with both hands.

Fall asleep with the memory of every hug you ever received and a smile on your face.

In the morning, linger over breakfast, smiling at whoever meets your gaze. But make it clear you are happily “with someone”—your own lovely self.

For the rest of the weekend, ask graciously,

“What do I want to do now?”

Then do it. And after that,

“What do I want to do now?”

When your thoughts wander, follow them. When your body speaks, listen closely. At some point, you will feel the magic and know it is time to make a commitment.

Marry yourself.

Yes, now.

You don’t even need a license. Just a quiet place to make your silent vows to love, honor and protect yourself; to be faithful and true to yourself. Until death. But be clear, this is for real, and it’s for Life.

Breaking this vow will bring more heartache than you can imagine. And when you return home, feeling whole and holy for the first time ever, call your ex and authentically wish him joy in his new relationship. Then call all your loved ones over to celebrate your union. Then, call the one you have not dared to call before.

Now.

You are ready.

~

Relephant:

Date a Boy who Serves.

~

Using Alone Time to Be Our Best Selves.

~

Like elephant journal on Facebook.

 

Assistant Ed: Gabriela Magana/Ed: Bryonie Wise

About Marilyn J. Owen

Marilyn J. Owen, LMFT, compulsively connects the dots between the inner and outer worlds via reflective meditation, poetry, writing, teaching, and her psychotherapy practice. Her paradigm is decidedly Jungian. Her journals are copious and illegible. Her bookshelves are full and lean precariously to the left. While exploring the world of dating over 50, she shares her home with family members, Waltons-style, and a bossy Aussie/Golden Retriever who serves as her fitness coach. For more information check out her website.

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21 Responses to “Advice to All the Single Ladies. ~ Marilyn J. Owen”

  1. smt says:

    This made me cry. thanks.

  2. Carli Susu says:

    This is the most beautiful, poignant piece of writing I have read for a long time. THANK YOU! I once dated myself and married myself and was very, very happy, but alas, I did not heed the warning that you so wisely suggest at the end, and gave myself away, cheated on myself, lured by a beautiful young man, who used cheap flattery and knew my deepest secret fears and wriggled his way into my happy relationship and put doubt in my mind (Well I LET HIM!) He was not worthy of me, and now I am having to start out all over again, dating and loving ME. Blessed Be xXx

  3. Bill says:

    You may think this odd…but I feel it applies to guys as well. We need to do the same thing….for all the same reasons…

  4. Sitka says:

    This post is first rate! Thank you so much.

  5. Marilyn Owen says:

    Thank you for your comments, everyone. Carli, I hear you… I’ve had to do it over and over, too. Bill, I agree, we all need to learn to love and commit to ourselves. It’s such an awesome feeling to be in that place of self acceptance and worth.

  6. Katie says:

    Thank you so much! I loved this beatiful idea of dating yourself and committing to yourself! And in no way does that sound odd @bill !

  7. Karen Mozes Karen Mozes says:

    Loved every line you wrote. The longest relationship we will ever have is with ourselves – we might as well make it the best of all. Thank you,

  8. Rhona says:

    Beautiful and good advice for any woman… Single or not!!

  9. Lisbet says:

    I love this! It's so beautiful. <3

  10. Sarah says:

    Thank you! My birthday anniversary is coming up soon…this time I am going to do something special for me.

  11. Gavin says:

    Great advice for men and women. Thanks!

  12. Denise Layne says:

    I just took a trip like this just for myself and alone for a week, it was truly wonderful and revitalizing. I highly recommend it once a year at least if you can… if not… take mini stay-cations nearby, even for a day…. you deserve it!

  13. wanda says:

    Denise, I will agree with on this. Amen sister.

  14. Dawn says:

    What a beautiful piece. Thank you – I am really touched. (And considering where my next coastal getaway with myself will be.)

  15. happinessheals says:

    Lovely, years ago in 2002 I bought myself a gold wedding band and indeed married myself and promised to be as good to myself as I am to others. It was a wonderful experience. What great advice that you are sharing!

  16. Jovanna says:

    Lovely. Thank the heavens for the art of words and the beauty that lies within them.

  17. NooneNoHow says:

    Nice sentiment, love the first 3/4, but I find this 'marry yourself' stuff silly. And who is 'the one you have not dared call before' ? what if there is no-one and never will be, hm?

  18. @mcfrlndmrch says:

    Loving yourself is the first step to take a little get a way for yourself. Do not rely on anyone but yourself to make your life happy. I have learned to do this a long time ago and it does work. You cannot love another person properly if you cannot love yourself first.

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