The Practice of Intimacy. ~ Nicolette Bell {Adult}

Via Nicolette Bellon Aug 24, 2013

Rob Boehle via Pinterest
Rob Boehle via Pinterest

Let me start by saying that I have relationships with men.

I adore everything about them, but most of all their man-ness; the way they smell, move, think, love and fuck; my goddess worships their god and enjoys the divine dance of these unions.

However, I have always had a soft spot for the softness of women.

My first sexual experience was with a girl and I have not been the same since. Their grace, poise, mystery (even though I am one….we are all so different), oozing sensuality, juicy curves and plump generosity.

I’ve been lucky enough to have explored some goddesses who have broadened my appetite for life and all its offerings.

While this list does not encapsulate all women or exclude all men, there are some resonant qualities I have come to recognize from my direct experiences.

I have come to see the parallels between yoga and my intimate sexual encounters with women.

1. Getting lucky!

When you are in the presence of a naked woman or the practices of yoga, and about to be submersed in their offerings, there is an overwhelming sense of being lucky, grateful, loved and gifted. It would be lovely to think that when someone uses the term ‘getting lucky’ this is the feeling behind it!

I never take for granted either the opportunity to explore the depths of a woman or yoga with its vast practices and pure wisdom.

2. You need to engage the whole system.

If you are lucky enough to share in a woman’s body, then it would be insane to work only with the obvious. We all know standard erogenous zones but the responsiveness, capacity and diversity of women is sublime.

So too in yoga—if we focus only on one practice, one part or limited perimeters our experience becomes restricted and the transcendence which is inherent in this system is not disclosed. If we look and skate only on the surface layers of both women and yoga then our experience remains superficial at best.

3. Working with the mind will open up the body.

Women’s (and men’s) inner worlds are immense, yet they are often trapped by their thoughts, plans and demands of complex modern lives. To reach them you have to either meet them in their minds or draw them out into their bodies.

Using creative, visual and erotic language and imagery will consume the mind in the present moment and encourage them to drop into their feeling state—connecting these two aspects and your two bodies.

In yoga, working with the mind and all its faculties (Raja and Jnana) is very useful in creating presence and exposing the reality of existence. Eventually, these practices and approach lead us to states of self-realization, union and ultimately bliss.

4. Stimulating more than one region does the trick.

In yoga, we focus on practices that work with the body, mind, emotions and soul simultaneously to create union and harmony between these aspects. Ultimately, unifying us with our nature and connecting us to the ultimate truth and infinite source.

When making love to a woman, we need to do the same—working with all her parts, ensuring she feels connected, loved at each level which enables her to open fully into feeling her deepest and truest nature.

In doing this, we support her surrendering into her fullest pleasure and experience of ecstatic bliss.

5. You work with divine mystery and can’t hide the truth.

‘Your body is a wonderland’ is a lovely idea of just how divine the female body is. Not only from an aesthetic point of view, but its functions and the deep well of emotions, energy, thought and wisdom that run through it.

Its capacity to have multiple along with continuous orgasms over many hours, the anatomy of the clitoris, harmonising menstruation with others or the lunar cycle, the miracles of pregnancy and child birth and let’s not forget female ejaculation.

When making love with a woman, she becomes heightened in her intuitive capacity and it becomes difficult to hide yourself from her. The reality of nature is exposed as is the case in the practices and state of yoga—all those divine mysteries of the universe start unfolding and revealing themselves to your heightened state.

6. The more you bring the more you receive.

The more presence, clarity, love and devotion you bring to both a woman and yoga is how you will be rewarded. If you hold back, bring fear, distractions or judgements to your experience, then you will create your own limitations.

The power and grace which is inherent in these entities will envelop you, soften you and transform your very nature however they can only do so much if you block them. They will try—that is their nature, but know the clearer you are the more you will see and receive their benevolence.

7. Both take time, patience and creativity.

I love the saying that we have a yoga practice, not a yoga finished, or a yoga done, or even a yoga perfect—we have a yoga practice and we need to continually practice without ambition of where we are going just a focus on where we are right now.

We need to show up, do what we can with an absolute clarity, reverence and grace and the rest will take care of itself.

When with a woman, we need to be fully present, able to work toward building the required focused energy through diversity yet consistency so that this creates the platform for her to fly from. She taps her own orgasm—we can just help aid in building a flow of steady and strong energy for her to rise on when she is ready to ascend.

8. You need to be strong, steady and committed.

Women sense weakness and flakiness as we are often the ones to offer support and strength to those in need. When I am with a woman, I want to be her strength so that she can soften, fall or ease into gentler waters should she wish or use that strength and steadiness to reach loftier heights—whatever she chooses.

Within the practices of yoga, there is a term Abhyasa which means continuous uninterrupted practice and this is vital for progress along the yogic path.

You need to practice even when you ‘don’t feel like it’ as this is usually when we need it most. Yoga is for the warrior spirit and not something to be taken on lightly as it will shake your foundations which you need to be able to withstand or stand again once all has collapsed around you.

9. Surrender, love and generosity are vital.

To enter the chamber of the soul through the heart, we must prostrate ourselves at the feet of surrender, love and generosity. These are the passwords for the door bitch at the gates of heaven and so we need to not only know them but embody them.

Our yoga practice leads us in this direction and develops these qualities gradually over time. Sometimes it rips control, hate or greed from our gnarled fingers leaving us distraught at our loss, not realizing that we gain their opposite companion in the space provided.

When we are caressing the nakedness of a goddess, it is vital to offer these gifts in appreciation and reverence.

On subtle levels, she receives them and offers you her hand as she moves deeper into altered states, bringing you both nearer her source.

10. Ecstasy is assured.

From my experience, when I approach women and yoga in this way—bliss is but a breath away. Be lead through the landscapes of divinity which are held in the bodies of yoga and women.

Breathe deeply my friends and enjoy your practices of love and yoga.

 

Like elephant journal gets sexy on Facebook.

Ed: Bryonie Wise

 

About Nicolette Bell

Nicolette Bell is a raving punk, a loving rebel, an innovative teacher, a yoga whore and a wild contradictory mess of goodness. She adores her humanness and soaking up all that life has to offer in the hope that she may get nearer to the grace and source of it all.
She writes a weekly blog, teaches her own classes around Sydney, Australia and is working on her life passion project of bringing the light of yoga into the shadows of our society. This is supported by the 1 Billion Rising  project and involves collectively chanting the Tara Mantra 1 Billion times in 1 year working with the subtle and not so subtle.
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7 Responses to “The Practice of Intimacy. ~ Nicolette Bell {Adult}”

  1. Shasha says:

    I love this article. It may well also be a mental connection for my bf between my love and my love of yoga! Thanks xx

  2. Kaye says:

    I love this. The practice is unavoidably sensual, juicy and intimate. Like real, authentic physical intimacy there is nowhere to hide. Thanks so much for this beautiful piece.

  3. Nicolette Bell says:

    Thanks Kaye – I really appreciate you reading it. It was delicious writing this and so glad that other people are able to connect with the bhav of this within the piece.

  4. Wow, what a beautiful article this is. Point no.4 particularly resonates for me – the more time you spend and the deeper you go, with both yoga and women, the more there is to discover. I think there are some interesting pointers in here for women about just being with themselves – physically, emotionally and spiritually – too. After all, we must learn to love our ourselves, first and foremost!

    • Nicolette Bell says:

      Can't say how grateful I am that you read it Vanessa and that you enjoyed it. What beautiful insights you were also able to get from it in the broader context. Lovely as always x

  5. Trevor says:

    Nicolette,

    What wonderful words & insights. Raw & subtle at the same time , double whammy. Hope more men get to see this passage , they too will agree. Congratulations on publication ..!

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