The Zen of Ego.

Via on Aug 7, 2013

Don’t do this: yogi-hulk-diffuse-anger Do this: Buddhist Hulk

Seven Things (our Ego tells us) to do when we’re Having a Bad Day.

Rough day? Ego knows what to do about it:

Stressed out? Don’t engage in maitri. Instead, dwell in self-pity or anger. Drink. Pick your zits. Jerk off. Overeat. Stay in doors. Engage in self-hate, or hurt others.

1. You could not take things personally, or focus on the end result…but no. Fuck that. Time to take things personally, and lose sight of the point of everything. Instead, act like a petulant child. The world’s against You.

2. Stressed? Don’t exercise—don’t breathe deeply—react out of irritation, fear, anger and speediness. React, react, react. Create drama—that always helps.

3. Blame. You could accept the blame, even if it’s not yours, be big about things and get back to solving the issue at hand…but no. Blame others, that works like a charm.

4. Go outside, cry, jump in a hot tub or pool, eat some real food sitting down….nah. Smoke. While surfing your smartphone. Or drink. Or eat emotionally. Or watch some stupid TV and zone it all out. That’s how all the greats throughout history handled their moodiness, right? Gandhi, Winston, Einstein…they all had both Netflix Streaming and the 3 DVD plan at a time.

5. Talk with friends? Connect with community? Fuck friends, they’re all jerks. Fuck community. Instead, yell at others. Hit others. Or at least slam doors. Grit your teeth. Say and type fuck a lot. USE ALL CAPS.

6. Take a break. Do less, not more. Don’t do anything rash. Or, quit! Fire someone! Break up! Argue! Even if you know you’re wrong, do not give up!

7. Here’s the thing: we do things that aren’t healthy and dig ourselves in deeper when we’re stressed. So pause. Do something different. Move. Exercise. Meditate. Try a simple inversion or heart opener. Hah, just kidding, jerkface: go pick on someone or something smaller or different than You.

Some folks are grateful that the thorn bush has roses. Instead, be pissed off that the roses have thorns. Life is half empty, and then you die. Best to collect the most toys, and seek the most pleasure, along the way.

That line of thinking, after all, is what simple-minded selfishness is made of.

True selfishness, of course, is thinking about the welfare of others, and our planet, and ourselves—all three, together. Because the universe is interconnected, and so are its laws.

So be a rebel: fight the universe, and see who wins out. I bet it’s You.

About Waylon Lewis

Waylon Lewis, founder of elephant magazine, now elephantjournal.com & host of Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis, is a 1st generation American Buddhist “Dharma Brat." Voted #1 in U.S. on twitter for #green two years running, Changemaker & Eco Ambassador by Treehugger, Green Hero by Discovery’s Planet Green, Best (!) Shameless Self-Promoter at Westword's Web Awards, Prominent Buddhist by Shambhala Sun, & 100 Most Influential People in Health & Fitness 2011 by "Greatist", Waylon is a mediocre climber, lazy yogi, 365-day bicycle commuter & best friend to Redford (his rescue hound). His aim: to bring the good news re: "the mindful life" beyond the choir & to all those who didn't know they gave a care. elephantjournal.com | facebook.com/elephantjournal | twitter.com/elephantjournal | facebook.com/waylonhlewis | twitter.com/waylonlewis | Google+ For more: publisherelephantjournalcom

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13 Responses to “The Zen of Ego.”

  1. cit1 says:

    I liked it a lot! Thanks!

  2. Candy says:

    Thanks for the reminder. I am surrounded by people like this at my job and I have been finding myself falling into the same behaviors. It's time to introduce new behaviors in the office.

  3. Deva says:

    ha hahhaaa thanx! was gonna ask for permission, this more like a full manifesto! how liberating! wait! I'm gonna kick …ss ;) ;)

  4. occultfan says:

    That was incredibly confusing. But I feel better now. I've already had a beer. I'll probably, odds are, have another, maybe a few. But you know? I'm going to be mindful that I don't do or say anything that will land me in hot water tonight. Instead, I'll keep reading this material about class equality and thinking about how I have so many opportunities in front of me.

    I mean, I do like beer after all.

    …no comment on that jerking off/zit-picking doozy up there. My compliments to anyone who can combine those into something productive or coherent!!

    …ew. HAHA!!

    Thanks, Waylon. I'm glad I ponied up the $13 for a one year subscription. Your sales model -works- and I'm hopeful for you and elephant's future. The content is undeniably -quality- and -engaging-. I absolutely love and was impacted by the talk you had with your Buddhist teacher on meditation and the importance of bringing to the common-fore the nature of humanity. It moved me to [a few] tears, it is such a hopeful and -touchstone-worthy- video.

    Back to the beer and positivity, now.

    - Nathan

  5. Kirsten says:

    Dig it. Love the rosebush line. Dig It.

  6. Lorrie. says:

    The negative side is me and many others I know when we are unbalanced, frustrated and feel helpless. The positive side of each thought really works if you just get off your ass and do it, let go, be healthier and feel better by channeling all those emotions. Great reminders for those of us who get sucked into the vortex of negativity and get stuck.

  7. suecsuecsue says:

    Why do I always feel you are talking directly to me? I needed to read that. Thank you. Love and light

  8. Piers says:

    Ha ha, this is great!

  9. maryetc says:

    LOVED it.

  10. JasonFranklin says:

    That was the best article I've ever read on this site.

  11. @MidlifeMona says:

    Perfect article for my bad day. Must print it out and stick in my cube as a reminder to breathe, take accountability and move on.

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