Love Hate.

Via on Sep 17, 2013
© Sarvesh Blanc / Pixoto

love hate

“Love loves to love love.” ~ James Joyce, Ulysses

I have a love/hate relationship with many things. Including technology in general and Facebook, specifically. And elephant journal. And myself. And the world.

This week, my laptop decided to quit working. However, I did buy myself an iPad mini off craigslist in June. And it came with a nifty Bluetooth keyboard. So I used it for everything all summer in my travels—reading, writing, listening to music, watching videos, playing games, taking pictures.

I love my iPad mini. I love Apple. I also hate Apple. Their stuff is expensive and I cannot handle the Apple Store experience; it makes my skin crawl.

I love the internet. It’s astonishingly helpful and vast and eclectic. I also hate the internet. It’s super addictive, can easily become a crutch and a waste of time.

I love and hate elephant journal. It’s the best, and the worst. I love how diverse and progressive it is. I love the quantity of articles and blogs and poems. I love the creativity and openness. I love writing for and reading it.

I hate it too. I hate the blogs about celebrities that get a zillion views. I hate the bloggers who are better than me. (I am envious of them.) I hate the videos. I hate the comment-section haters. I hate the cute, sexy, kitten blogs.

I love myself. I know I am a worthy person; everyone is. I am a unique snowflake. I love being me, a woman who feels like a girl, a yogini who prefers the word yogi, a writer, a mama, a mujer.

I hate myself. I can’t believe how much I suck. I hate my flabby parts and ugly flaws. I hate my hate, which of course works well, since hate loves to hate.

I love you. You are brilliant and amazing and so beautiful in every way. I love your mind and body. I love your soul and spirit. I love you so much it hurts. I love everything about you, unconditionally.

I hate you too though. As they say, there’s a thin line between love and hate. I hate how much better you are than me. I hate your perfection which only exists in my mind. I hate your snootiness, your scowl. I hate how you make me behave.

Sometimes, I hate the world.

My aspiration every day is to love more and hate less. As Martin Luther King said, “Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.”

Like elephant love on Facebook.

Ed: Sara Crolick

{photo: via pixoto}

About Michelle Margaret Fajkus

Michelle Margaret Fajkus ("fake-us") is a proponent of natural, lifelong learning through yoga, mindfulness, living, loving and letting go. An avid reader, writer and blogger, she's a longtime lover of words and languages, especially English and Spanish. Today, Michelle is a 34-year-old expat from Austin living at Lake Atitlan, Guatemala with her life partner, daughter and black cat. Michelle is the founder of Yoga Freedom. She learned yoga from a book at age 12 and found Buddha in California at 23. She's written over 250 posts about mindful living on elephant journal since 2010. Her writing also appears on Rebelle Society, Be You Media Group and her blog, Daily Life Practice. Read her memoir, chakra guide or (free!) beginners guide to mindfulness and yoga here, or come on down to Guatemala for a retreat! Connect with Michelle on Google+ or Facebook.

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