Facing Our Fear of Change. ~ Victor Reyes

Via Victor Reyeson Oct 22, 2013

Source: via Jeanette on Pinterest.

I was terrified of change.

Seven years ago, I was on the precipice of losing all intrinsic qualities that defined me as a unique human being. I was at a loss as what to do.

Eating had become my drug of choice. As my size 44-inch waistline expanded, blood vessels constricted, and I worked myself close to a heart attack or stroke. The only way to save my life was a complete commitment to change all of me—the total human being.

Knowing this, I was scared of losing all the “good” I saw in myself. I took blind leap of faith that the Universe would land me safely. I am a strong believer in change because it saved my life.

Change can be an extremely powerful and distressing force. The harbingers of change may present themselves at crossroads in our lives where seismic events shake our foundations and comfortability, be it divorce, illness, or accident. We are thrown headfirst into circumstances where we have to sink or swim.

Sometimes, signs of transition to a new phase in life are disguised in a way that forces us to lift societal blinders that took years to develop. If we are unable to do so, we will not be ready to understand what the Universe wants us to know. Society encourages us to live in what relative cultural experience defines as the status quo and not necessarily what really lies within the heart.

Change is a process that plays itself out differently for everyone. This means that a person deciding to make changes in life is a personal decision. We have the absolute right to live our lives in a manner of our own choosing, as long as we do not cause harm to others. There are a million miles between existing currently and deciding to change. There are a million more between deciding to change and taking concrete steps to make it happen.

So why should we choose change and what may result?

1. Embrace the forces of change.

Change is inevitable. It is thrust upon us. Being conceived is the first change in circumstances that we can not control.

At birth, there was no option but to leave warmth and security to face blinding light and a cacophony of noise. Aging is a part of our nature and dying is the ultimate transition. Knowing these inevitable events will occur, why not truly live now, and change our circumstances that do not better us by changing those things we can control.

2. Inviting change enhances the relationship with our Self.

When we do not change things that do not enhance us, we stagnate and become complacent. We hit the start button on the treadmill of life and walk in the same place without going anywhere until we hit pause, feel the treadmill come to a slow stop, and turn off. We get frustrated and at times angry as to where we are in our lives. There is nothing outside of your own self that will ever make you happy. Acquisitions, both animate and inanimate, satisfy temporary urges, but cannot substitute for the ongoing, ever blossoming relationship we create with ourselves.

Change is also evident when we recognize and confront those demons that control our actions and decision-making. When those actions and their reasons are no longer part of our fabric, we have enhanced ourselves. Our actions are no longer solely for self-gain or heart-protection. We enhance our self-relationship by shedding that which deters the expression of our full true self. Invite into life change that does not harm. This then encourages the mind, body and soul to engage in activity that promulgates their health and well-being. A positive frame of mind affects all those we come into contact.

3. Positive change affects our relationship with all those around us.

As we change and grow, we gain a deeper understanding and appreciation which then translates to how we see others and the world around us. Ideas such as love and compassion are no longer terms of art, but a way to live.

Change brings about the release of relationships that are toxic. Only when we go through this change will we be ready to form healthy relationships with others. Now that we are beyond an ego-self, we see the bigger picture. As we become citizens of the world around us, we begin to focus on what is really needed by the less fortunate around us and the resources necessary to accomplish any goals. Self-actualization leads to change in all facets of life and a sense of balance.

4. Maintaining a balanced life through change affects all other aspects of Being.

By achieving and keeping a sense of inner harmony, decisions made about all aspects of life are seen through a lens of self-awareness. Change in life is a constant. Who we are this instant is not the same person we were yesterday because every experience, no matter how trivial, shapes and molds our decision-making process. Where we live, what we eat, what job we keep are always in a state of flux. Life shifts, so it is important to maintain a sense of balance in all we do.

There are aspects of change in which we have choice. What changes we invite is entirely dependent on where we want to be. I chose living life and am thankful for the doors the Universe has opened for me since.

 

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Assistant Ed: Zenna James/Ed: Sara Crolick

About Victor Reyes

Victor Reyes is an avid reader, musician, writer, and traveler who only recently has begun to share lessons he has learned in life.  As a sitting Judge, he has been raising awareness on the issue of domestic violence by speaking nationally to members of the judiciary and legal community. Watching and listening to people’s stories daily for nearly three decades in the trenches as a Public Defender, sitting on the Bench and just living life has given him a greater appreciation for and a deeper understanding of our humanity.
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