It’s been 12 hours and I still have his smell upon me.
I close my eyes now and I can feel his kisses on my belly. My body responds now as it did then. That touch, his touch, I ache for him now. I want his body. I need him.
Kiss me, I say.
Say please, he says.
Please, oh dear God please, kiss me.
His mouth finds mine. I pull him closer, his weight upon me.
I keep my eyes closed with the memory. Willing it to be real once again.
Under his hands my body is ready for him. But then he stops.
Don’t stop, I beg.
Shh, I want to look at you, he whispers.
I cry out as he takes me, but my eyes never leave his. He has me. I’m his, all his.
He’s not just looking at me, he sees me.
It’s not smart I know, but I give myself to him completely and willingly.
As my sweaty breathless body lies there after, his arms around me with my skin still sensitive to his touch, I wonder what deal I can make with the Universe that this moment never ends.
But end it does. It always ends.
I want to cry and hold him and plead, don’t go. Stay with me. Be with me.
I don’t. I know I can’t
As I lie here alone now the memory taunts me.
Never again, I tell myself. The goodbye is too painful.
I’m lying. I won’t say no more.
I’ll count the days until once again he nestles my neck and whispers into my ear
Shh, I want to look at you.
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Ed: Sara Crolick