Confidence is something we all want, but many of us struggle to create or maintain.
We see confident people walking around loving life and think, “Wow, I wish I could be that confident!”. They’re cool, comfortable in their skin, and basically awesome.
We set those confident people on a pedestal and believe they have something we don’t. Maybe it’s the car or the awesome career. Maybe it’s the perfect relationship or the way they seem to be loved and accepted by everyone. We only see the external reasons why we think they are confident, when really, we’re simply reflecting back their own level of comfort in who they are as an individual.
It has nothing to do with what we see on the surface and everything to do with what they’re focusing on at a deeper level. What we don’t realize is that confidence can be easily mastered by anyone, including you. You just need the right tools.
Here are my top three tools for cultivating confidence in your life right now.
1) Master the Art of “Owning It.”
Confidence is incredibly important when it comes to building a life you love, not just because you need it to bring your grand vision to fruition, but because you have to be completely confident in who you are as a person. Exactly as you are, right now. Confidence comes down to “owning it,” and that means you’re totally and completely at peace with who you are in every moment, interaction and experience.
When you own it, whatever it is for you (your shoes, choices, truths, career, etc.), other people fall in line and you receive more acceptance, respect, interest, appreciation and belief. If you have a lack of confidence in yourself, other people will reflect that back, creating a vicious cycle that drags you down. On the flip side, if you have total confidence in yourself, completely owning who you are in every moment, other people will reflect that back and your confidence will continue to flourish.
The best part is, when you own what’s coming up for you and allow yourself to really experience what you’re feeling in each moment, those less-than-confidence-inspiring feelings will dissipate in a matter of seconds.
2) Take 100% Responsibility for Everything in Your Life.
A huge key to confidence is the ability to take total ownership of your life and everything that manifests within it— success and failure, the way others treat you, your health, and happiness. This is called taking personal responsibility. Personal responsibility isn’t about blame, it’s about empowering yourself to create the life, success and happiness you desire.
In any situation, ask yourself this powerful question: What did I do to allow this to happen? Whatever the answer, you should be thrilled with what you discover. When you discover that you failed to plan accordingly, didn’t set boundaries, ate food that wasn’t good for you, or anything else that comes up, you now have the insight you need to do things differently!
When you’re no longer the victim in life or relationships. You’ll feel more confident in your abilities to create exactly what you desire and to be exactly who you are.
3) Turn Fear into Fuel.
Fear is kryptonite to confidence, as most people’s biggest fears revolve around being seen or judged. Other people’s opinions, judgments, jabs and teasing can cut us down faster than anything else. But fear is a key indicator of what’s next for us in terms of growth and goals. If you have a fear of being seen or judged for who you are, it’s time to get uncomfortable and step further into your truth.
Instead of allowing fear to hold you back, it’s important to turn it into fuel for your journey. One of my favorite quotes says, “Fear is excitement without the breath.” If you stop breathing and tense up, fear’s got you. If you breathe in and let it become the energized, excited fuel it can be, then you supercharge yourself, your actions and your growth.
Remember to own your experience, as well as everything about who you are right now, then breathe into that fear and keep moving forward. I promise that the more you venture into the unknown and show up fully, the more quickly you’ll cultivate confidence in yourself.
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Editorial Assistant: Zenna James/Editor: Bryonie Wise
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July’s Full Moon in Capricorn: The Heart wants what it Wants. How to Love a Woman who Scares You. Our Soulmates are Rarely Who We Expect. I Still Think of You. The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. Men, Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Size Matters. Reading This Takes Guts. To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD.