Diary of A Mad Entrepreneur. ~ Sonal Batavia

Via Sonal Bataviaon Mar 30, 2014

childdontworry

 

Yes my venture might be unsustainable.

Yes the industry is heavily saturated.

Yes it could be unrealistic.

My journey into entrepreneurship has been anything but easy. Overnight I somehow found myself filling the shoes of web developer, designer, social media expert, photographer, accountant and research and developer.

Albeit I might not be changing the world with cupcakes and cookies, but I care about my business and brand. It matters to me the way even the very few customers I have knocking on my online door are treated. Every click, message, like, comma, period, and exclamation point is a reflection of who we are as a business. No matter how small we may be in the industry, there is thought and planning that goes into every minute piece.

I plan in my sleep. I plan on my walk to the kitchen. I plan in the shower. I plan while driving. I plan at the gym. Every spare moment is a moment to think about how to grow, improve and be better.

I am chasing after a passion.

One I realize other people don’t always understand and possibly criticize more than praise. One I know everyone watching has an opinion about that isn’t always in favour of support or success. I want to give up on so many days. The days where even with all the careful pre-planning and forecasting, I still don’t seem to find enough hours in the day, or hands to perfect my work.

Moments where I know I didn’t perform my best.

Deadlines that cause sleepless nights, increased cortisol levels, and grey hair.

Stress grows from every inch of my body. I stumble and fumble, trying to learn every piece and become a Jane of all trades.

I am terrified 90 percent of the time about whether my product will please my client.

Whether the results of my last marketing initiative—that almost killed me, and put a dent in my savings—will even lead to anything promising.

There is a pressure I can’t always explain, and a fear that even if I try to I’ll be misunderstood or ridiculed by my listener.

So I hold it all together and slap a smile on my face. I tell the world I have it under control. I celebrate my small wins like they are the biggest wins, and constantly find ways to keep my audience and myself afloat even when the going gets tough.

I cry heavily in solitude on bad days. Not because I am weak, but because I care so much it feels like every slight fall is an attack or threat to the livelihood of a business I took a chance on. A pursuit I know that even with the best of intentions, investment and interest could entirely tank.

Getting used to the criticism is like consciously allowing a tsunami to attack your ego; it is painful and helpful all at once.

But I sing my mantra to myself:

No, it’s not perfect.

No, I don’t know if it will ever prosper.

No, I will not stop believing in it.

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Photo Credit: elephant archives

About Sonal Batavia

Sonal Batavia is an unreasonably hopeful twenty something year old, experiencing life one country at a time. Stay hungry, stay foolish, stay connected. Find out more at her blog.

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2 Responses to “Diary of A Mad Entrepreneur. ~ Sonal Batavia”

  1. anastomoses2013 says:

    Love this. So inspiring, keep on keeping on!

  2. Thank you anastomoses2013!

    It's your words of encouragement that keep me going!

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