You have to walk backwards, temporarily

Walk backwards into your fractures and tears, your broken self

to discover where to put the glue

You have to assemble the shards of memories back together again

attaching them piece by piece, one at a time

rebuilding each of them to find the triggers,

find the catalyst of your angst

You have to deflate the power of your fears and let them go

as you watch them twirl, dancing upward while dissipating

 

You have to walk backwards and visualize the origins of your sleepless nights

and the meaning behind the dark circles beneath your eyes

Learn the when, the where and how of them

Gather the knowledge and figure out the mysteries behind the obvious,

don’t be fooled

Learn why water frightens you so

and why crowds overwhelm the joy of each gathering

You have to fully face the demons and confront them, identifying them,

then smudge the air to release those tyrants, fragrantly

Burn sage, open a window and allow the burdens to escape

let the smoke carry the evil into the atmosphere and vanish

 

You have to take a walk backwards

Do it with a therapist, a friend, a psychic, or an Intuitive

Use music, sounds, smells and pictures

to ignite anything and everything that is holding you back

But walk into the maze of these haunted memories undaunted

knowing that this is their last hooray

Walk with Intention, shed the tears, and beat the drums

Scream the shrill sounds of release, and don’t hold anything back

 

Walk backwards until you stumble and fall from exhaustion, soaked

And when you fall, fall into the trusted arms of a good friend, a lover,

or cradle yourself and weep

Then, when you are ready, pick yourself up,

crawl if you have too,

toddle your way towards balance,

walk your way forward, gingerly, carefully, lovingly

But leave the past in the past,

Speak of it to no one, let it go

The Past does not exist and never has,

You are now living mindfully, one day by one day

and practicing loving kindness with grace

 

Love elephant and want to go steady?

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Apprentice Editor: Sarah Qureshi / Editor: Catherine Monkman

 Photo: out0fwave via flickr