My husband and I suffered a miscarriage last year that left us shattered.

What was more difficult, was the fact that people did not talk about this, or were very uncomfortable talking about it. It feels like a taboo subject, which is so wrong and completely alienating for those who are in the thick of it. So I wanted to share this poem, in the hope that it touches someone, gives an insight into how it feels when it happens to you. In the hope that we can help make this topic more acceptable to talk about, which can only help us all heal in the long run.

Time, they say, is a great healer

That’s no good when time goes on forever

Stuck in limbo, an emotional no-man’s land

Fighting back tears, anger always at hand
Patience, I am told, is a great virtue

Whatever, I say, life didn’t break you

Alone in grief, all-consumed by loss

Life has no meaning, couldn’t give a toss
The loss of a lover is hard enough

Try loosing a child when your up the duff

Flippant (I’m not) I can hear you sneer

Just part of the grieving process, my dear
An emotional merry-go-round roller coaster

Hormones raging, like a cyclone twister

So lost in the abyss, with no lifeline in sight

Trying so hard not to give up the fight
Being out of control is an understatement

Pecker up ladies, you’re part of the “40 percent”

No comfort to gain from hearing this fact

Our baby has gone and is not coming back
On the brink of tears 24/7

The only comfort is that my baby’s in heaven

Always thought I was strong, made of sterner stuff

But I’m weak. and buckled and hollow, not tough
The fight must go on as there’s always hope

If this happens again I don’t know how we’ll cope

“Give it one more try” the midwifes urge

It’s a waiting game for my hormones to surge
And surge they do, we keep everything crossed

Hoping my heart will know how to defrost

From its icy graveyard, where no children smile

The worry begins, it’ll be here for a while

~

Author: Vicky Paul

Editor: Jean Weiss

Photo: Konstantinos Koukopoulos