This article originally appeared on MeetMindful. elephant is proud to share their content, and we think you’ll love them just as much as we do. Happy reading! ~ Ed.

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The media is full of images and headlines about how to have great sex: hot bodies and new moves, gymnastic positions and pearly pink sex toys will “spice things up” and help you either give or get the mind-blowing pleasure you’ve been looking for.

One thing often overlooked, however, is whether you’re actually in your body while you’re having sex. By this, I mean are you planning your schedule for the next day? Are you going over your grocery list? Are you worrying about having or giving an orgasm? All of us have internal mental chatter while having sex, but when thoughts come up and we ride away with them we lose contact with the sensations and subtleties of the present moment. When this happens, we limit the richness and depth of the sex we’re having.

Specifically, what happens when we’re stressed or anxious during sex is our brain sends the message to our bodies to constrict blood flow to all parts of our bodies except what we need to fight or run away—that doesn’t leave much left for some key parts used in sex (genitals).

When we are present in the moment, however, the activity in the part of our brain called the anterior insula is increased. This part of the brain is like a huge communication channel between the brain’s different parts and the body. When this part is activated we perceive our physical sensations in a deeper, more intense way. We can also be more emotionally present and in-tune with our partners. This gives us a chance to more fully connect. It becomes a sort of positive feedback loop because connection and in-tune sex reinforce each other.

So what can we do?

There are things we can do day to day, and things we can practice during sex…

…Follow us over to MeetMindful to finish reading Mindful Sex & Meditation.

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Author: Rachel Weinstein  

Image: Ludmila Vilarinhos/Flickr

Editor: Katarina Tavčar; Yoli Ramazzina