The Buddhist Rule About Worrying: Don’t.

The Elephant Ecosystem

Every time you read, share, comment or heart you help an article improve its Rating—which helps Readers see important issues & writers win $$$ from Elephant. Learn more.

Views 10
Shares 10
Hearts 1.0
Comments 1.3
Editor's Pick 0.0
Total Ecosystem Rating 0.0
71 Do you love this article? Show the author your support by hearting.
59
890.5k

Don’t Worry, Be Present.

“It is not work that kills men; it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more upon a man than he can bear. Worry is the rust upon the blade. It is not the movement that destroys the machinery but the friction.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” ~ Marcus Aurelius

~

The Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

“90% of the things you worry about are out of your control so it’s not helpful to worry. The other 10% you can control so do something about it instead of worrying.”

“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” ~ Mark Twain

Relephant read: Pema Chodron: How to do Tonglen, a meditation practice for difficult times.

Leonardo DiCaprio on Worrying and Failure: [Quote]

I tweeted this casually awhile back, and it got more RTs than all my other posts combined, today. So, guess it warrants being made into a short, sweet blog post in and of itself.

The Buddhist rule re: Worrying is simple: don’t.

Or, as Shantideva said more eloquently,

If it can be fixed; why worry?

If it can’t be fixed, what’s the point of worrying?

Or, more properly: “If a cure exists, why worry? If no cure exists, what use is there to worry?”

~

“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength.” ~ Corrie ten Boom

“If it can be solved, theres no need to worry, and if it can’t be solved, worry is of no use.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

 

(1) Identify objective at hand. (2) determine if you are on track (3) identify controllable and uncontrollable factors. (4) intentionally shift focus away from uncontrollable factors.

You will feel better.

Aristotle said: “Patience is bitter, but it’s fruit is sweet.”

Bonus:


Relephant bonus:

Advice re: Fear from those who are Fearless.

~

Four Practical Buddhist Tips for Dealing with Negativity: 

The Elephant Ecosystem

Every time you read, share, comment or heart you help an article improve its Rating—which helps Readers see important issues & writers win $$$ from Elephant. Learn more.

Views 10
Shares 10
Hearts 1.0
Comments 1.3
Editor's Pick 0.0
Total Ecosystem Rating 0.0
71 Do you love this article? Show the author your support by hearting.
59
890.5k

Read The Best Articles of December
You voted with your hearts, comments, views, and shares.
CLICK TO SEE WHO WON

Waylon Lewis

Waylon Lewis, founder of Elephant Journal & host of Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis, is a 1st generation American Buddhist “Dharma Brat.” Voted #1 in U.S. on twitter for #green two years running, Changemaker & Eco Ambassador by Treehugger, Green Hero by Discovery’s Planet Green, Best (!) Shameless Self-Promoter at Westword’s Web Awards, Prominent Buddhist by Shambhala Sun, & 100 Most Influential People in Health & Fitness 2011 by “Greatist”, Waylon is a mediocre climber, lazy yogi, 365-day bicycle commuter & best friend to Redford (his rescue hound). His aim: to bring the good news re: “the mindful life” beyond the choir & to all those who didn’t know they gave a care. elephantjournal.com | His first book, Things I would like to do with You, touches on modern relationships from a Buddhist point of view. His dream of 9 years, the Elephant “Ecosystem” will find a way to pay 1,000s of writers a month, helping reverse the tide of low-quality, unpaid writing & reading for free online.

You must be logged in to post a comment. Create an account.

anonymous Jul 17, 2015 4:41am

Yes I agree with this in principle. But if you have genuine problems and worries about money or jobs or health, it's not so straightforward. My worries and stress stem from running my own business. When the burden is too big, it isn't always possible to find a quick fix to remedy it. I find the most chilled out people are the ones with the least responsibilities in life. #justsaying

anonymous Mar 19, 2015 6:49am

Be anxious for nothing, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your request to God. Philippians 4:6

anonymous Mar 17, 2015 2:46am

This is all very well in theory, or, as a Tantrika would say, as ground. On the path or in practical terms, you have the sometimes extreme tension of whether your strategy for a problem will work, whether you will be able to fix your problem or not. If this tension brings one (as is the case with me) a pulse of 150 and a sleepless night, it’s not funny & should not be dismissed.

anonymous Feb 1, 2015 2:40am

For many people worrying is much more complex than this allows. Worrying is all about uncertainty and one’s perceived ability to impact one’s problems of fears. For many people who worry this will be unhelpful and a trivialisation of the importance of stress/anxiety awareness.

anonymous Jul 11, 2014 9:13pm

I have finally learned how to give up worrying: live in the present, without expectations. Have a Plan B, but, don't agonize about it. Be open to new opportunities. Be glad for each new day. Count your blessings. Have faith that everything will work out the way it's supposed to. This is a new experience for me. It helps having the weight of the world lifted off one's shoulders. I like it!

anonymous Apr 17, 2014 9:26pm

Worry is like a rocking chair it gives you something to do but you just don’t go anywhere!

anonymous Mar 26, 2014 2:13pm

The question "Can you do something about it? Yes/No." is a false question, a lie, a deceiving question, a distraction that sets up ignorance … because it cannot be answered with a Yes or No.

It can never be answered in advance. You do not have a Yes, and you do not have a No. The only possible answer is "I don't know", until AFTER you have tried a few things. The process of wondering, mulling over the possibilities, and creating new ideas, experimenting with a sense of curiosity and discovery … is called worry. It is wonder-filled and healthy, and the results are uncertain, unknown, until after we go out and explore what happens.

The suspenseful, tense anticipation that sometimes feels uncomfortable is merely uncertainty … attachment to something that we don't know … and even that is a healthy response that helps train our senses to focus upon the problem we are studying and learning about.

So, please DO worry, in the most curious, deliberate, and mindful ways possible, because it is a very healthy direction of attention, to fiddle, explore, and discover new things. The things that we don't know yet are most worthy to be explored, so why would we place a prejudged and simplistic Yes or No onto them beforehand? When you want a particular outcome, then explore. Pay attention and really get into it, with a very active and lively form of curiosity, healthy forms of worry.

anonymous Feb 9, 2014 2:50am

Though intellectually I agree….my anxiety doesn't let me do it very well. I worry about everything, ever …when I was a child I just thought I was a worry-wart. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized there was a reason I worried all the time. Gotta love GAD. Though, I try not to worry as much, it just doesn't work that way very well. 🙁

anonymous Feb 4, 2014 7:00pm

Kind of a feel-good bromide. If you're a prisoner facing…torture or execution. You can't do anything about it, no. Are you really going to say "Oh…well shoot. I guess I won't worry about it. I remember that handy flow chart! Yay!". You may dread the pain. The agony. Will it be too much to bear? Will the waterboarding be as bad as I dread? Will the execution be drawn out and horrific? So many situations will bring about worry, and a flow chart isn't going to remove the anxiety of potential pain or suffering. Powerless in the face of trauma, the fear of the unknown, loss…..yes, ideally we can all exist in a place where we just don't feel it. But to reduce how one gets there to a flippin' flow chart is pablum.

anonymous Jan 27, 2014 11:12pm

Sounds like great advice for a 20 year old. Later, when life gets complex, ya might want to worry a bit. It's when you find yourself worrying in your sleep that it's gotten to be too much. Letting a problem cogitate awhile sometimes brings some more creative solutions. It's best not to tell anyone though. They'll tell you to "not worry" 😉

anonymous Jan 27, 2014 9:03pm

I think that statement is very true but not nessisarily Buddhist it says in the Bible not to worry Matthew 6:34

    anonymous Apr 17, 2014 1:42pm

    Buddhism predates the bible by many centuries.

anonymous Jan 27, 2014 9:51am

Sounds great when the world is black and white. I think most of the time the worry comes from it not being clear whether or not something can be done. And if something can be done, what the best way might be.

anonymous Jan 27, 2014 8:08am

Telling someone with severe anxiety to stop worrying is like telling someone with high blood pressures to stop having high blood pressure.

utter tosh.

    anonymous May 31, 2015 9:28pm

    Both can be achieved by the power of the the mind alone. I maybe be difficult but not impossible. If it is possible then it is true.

anonymous Jan 27, 2014 7:56am

great advice

anonymous Jan 27, 2014 4:44am

If you’re faced with two alternatives and either decision will bring harm to other people, then worry.

anonymous Jan 27, 2014 4:28am

Reminds me o the "Worry Tree" http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/worrytree.pdf

anonymous Aug 20, 2013 9:38pm

I love the illustration!!! The bonus video was superb 🙂 Definitely made me forget my worries before I doze off tonight. Going to sleep with a smile.

anonymous Feb 4, 2013 9:58am

what a bunch of BS

anonymous Dec 26, 2012 4:02am

Don’t worry about being perfect. Just be human. I agree about not worrying, but for most of us that will be very difficult. Worry comes in many forms, it is an excuse to not be responsible. We must be in full charge at all times. To assign responsibility for any difficulty to an external factor, or to another person, or to another person's irrational behavior, is itself and irrationality. There is nothing wrong with any human except the results of mistreatment. Only mistreatment makes humans into problems. Stop mistreatment and problems will be stopped.

anonymous Oct 29, 2012 6:48pm

[…] that’s natural and okay. Suppressing anxiety makes it worse. So remember: worry is useless (read this). Prepare what you can prepare, and there’s tips below that will be updated. Beyond that, […]

anonymous Sep 27, 2012 12:57pm

I'm the world's biggest worrier. I am taping this to my fridge, and maybe tatoo on my hand so I don't forget.

anonymous Sep 23, 2012 8:21am

Very much an over simplification… When I worry, its usually because I'm worrying about whether or not I'll be able to pull of the fix… Which may not be a legitimate reason to worry, but this still doesn't account for it.
But I love it anyway!
Homeprotec gevelrenovatie en andere gevelwerken zoals schilderwerken, gevelreiniging, voegwerken en meer.

anonymous Jun 25, 2012 11:29pm

Deeply meaningful and leaves behind subtle sense of relief.

anonymous Jun 20, 2012 10:44am

[…] Out of ideas? Stuck? Ask for help. Be vulnerable. Don’t worry about things. Can’t think of, say, 10 ideas for your blog? Who cares. It’s just a silly […]

anonymous May 8, 2012 5:33pm

[…] Relax. Give in. We won’t feel better until we feel better. So don’t worry—there’s no […]

anonymous Apr 6, 2012 8:30pm

[…] agree, we shouldn’t worry. At all. The simple Buddhist rule about worry is: […]

anonymous Mar 19, 2012 9:31am

[…] Buddist rule re: Worrying|ElephantJournal.com Like this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

anonymous Mar 11, 2012 10:03am

The brain does not do negative commands.

If I tell you, “Do not think of an orange elephant,” you think of an orange elephant.

That is because the mind drops the “not” and acts on the rest.

So, if I or someone else, including yourself, tell you, “Do not worry,” I might as well be telling you to worry.

What is much more effective is a constructive diversion.

Asking myself, “Can it be fixed?” or “What can I do to fix it?” begins the path to this constructive diversion.

It leaves the mire of worry and begins the path to a more pragmatic task of problem resolution.

    anonymous Mar 13, 2012 10:59am

    It is possible to let go of disturbing thoughts — like patterns of neurotic worrying. In a practical sense, that is what meditation is all about. It is not necessary either that thoughts be driven out of the mind (as if the thoughts themselves were the problem). The problem is attachment to thoughts — the emotional investment that all have in certain ideas (the hope of becoming rich or successful, the desire to avoid having others think badly of us, the fear of loss, etc., etc., etc.).

    Think about it. Why don't we worry very much about the possibility that someone else has cancer? Just a little bit of loosening of attachment to ourselves as the most important thing (looking out for number one) really helps calm neurotic worries.

    And this doesn't mean that you can't take action to "fix" something. And without the worry, the action is much more likely to be based on wisdom and to be more effective.

      anonymous Sep 23, 2012 1:45pm

      The brain does not do negative commands.

      of course it does. "do not run in front of that bus."
      try it next time you see a bus.

        anonymous Jan 3, 2014 6:37pm

        "Does not do negative commands" is not entirely accurate. What the OP meant is that by instructing the mind not to think about something, you are simply drawing your mind's attention to whatever it is you aren't supposed to be thinking about — thus you cannot command your mind not to think about something (and be successful in your goal).

        Your mind certainly can process instructions not to act on something.

          anonymous Mar 25, 2014 8:27am

          Hi my child. Mbe you should think about sharing this line of your thought on the blog Mimi talks. Help us all. I love u. Fancy chance I see you on a web post. ( ! )

      anonymous Jan 24, 2013 12:25pm

      This is really good, thanks for saying it. I think it illustrates the point of 'No self' very much.

anonymous Jan 11, 2012 11:57pm

Pema is the balls. She could tell me whaling was ok, and I would buy it.

anonymous Nov 1, 2011 10:05pm

Very much an over simplification… When I worry, its usually because I'm worrying about whether or not I'll be able to pull of the fix… Which may not be a legitimate reason to worry, but this still doesn't account for it.
But I love it anyway!

    anonymous Jan 24, 2013 12:17pm

    Exactly. When I worry it's because I don't KNOW if it can be fixed.

    anonymous Feb 10, 2014 5:45pm

    The answer often comes when I stop worrying and fretting and trust the process.

anonymous Nov 1, 2011 8:13pm

love.

anonymous Oct 10, 2011 3:38pm

I have this up at work. Puts is all in prospective.

anonymous Jul 21, 2011 12:06pm

Always loved this teaching – nice presentation of it!

anonymous Jul 20, 2011 5:30pm

I'm in love. Best. Post. Ever.

anonymous Jul 20, 2011 10:02am

[…] Anxious? Stressed out? You got two options. […]

anonymous May 12, 2011 12:28pm

[…] Not to worry. Buddhist Rule Re: Worrying. […]

anonymous May 3, 2011 3:32pm

I think I'll tape this to my wall!

anonymous Dec 17, 2010 4:01pm

Hey that Buddha was a smart guy, we hear this in many of todays modern preaching. That is why it is just as valuable today as it was yesterday. What me worry – Alfred E. Newman (Mad one of my favs) Worrying is unproductive so don't waste time with it.
Jon

    anonymous Aug 21, 2013 3:02am

    Has Buddhism devolved into a simple-minded feel-good denialthon? The question to some is not can but how. Can is not a resolution of a problem. Can global warming be addressed? Yes, so I guess I don't have to worry right?

      anonymous Feb 1, 2015 12:13am

      I think the point is if it is inevitable why torment yourself with worry before it happens. If it is not inevitable do not waste time worrying, instead get busying doing whatever you can to make the change you desire. Basically quit your complaining and do something about it or chill and let it happen.

    anonymous Dec 29, 2013 10:02am

    this is great enlightenment..!

    anonymous Dec 13, 2014 7:32am

    I don't understand this. The reason why I worry about things I can't change is that they may hurt me. Very simple. I don't worry about things that have the potential to really hurt me if I can do something about them. If I can't – I know I'm facing pain. And for me, facing pain can be a regular thing. I have to do my best to mitigate it.

anonymous May 3, 2011 12:41pm

Love those. Thank you. Never knew where that expression, "Lillies of the Field," came from.

Yours,

Waylon

anonymous Nov 24, 2011 9:19am

Beautiful!

Roberta Pettigrew Sep 1, 2018 12:19am

Hi,,from Liverpool xx

Jose Martin May 1, 2018 10:14pm

Worrying are concepts we create in our mind that have no reality outside our mind. Buddhism teaches us to go beyond concepts if we truly want to be happy(another concept).

Sarath Abayagunawardana Apr 7, 2018 8:31am

Just feel good with what U have got ,It will protect U naturally. its the buddist lifestyle ,without being religious-ritualistic.

Ted Schredd Dec 11, 2016 2:11pm

Worrying is a lot of work... and I don't get paid for it. Hmmm not seeing the benefits..

Raymond James Jun 7, 2016 3:02am

I think we throw around too many lables these days, everything is a meme. Being a hand wringer over everything and taking no action, that is bad. But I think worry and stress are normal and healthy responses to life, and in me they stimulate deeper thought that drives me to find solutions to things that others say were "unfixable", so very valuable in driving the problem solving "energy". When I see things like; “90% of the things you worry about are out of your control so it’s not helpful to worry. The other 10% you can control so do something about it instead of worrying.” I think those 90/10 %s are variable and relative. I have seen the same problems be insurmountable to one (weak) person who was afraid of stress and worry and who had been taught to avoid stress and worry, and gave up easily, while the next (stronger) person delt with the stress, worried about the potential outcome, and then was motivated to sole an "unsolvable" problem.