April 26, 2010

So 42 is the answer to everything.

The “Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.”

So 42 is the answer to everything.  If that is the case, then on this my 42nd birthday I should wake up omniscient. That said, there are still questions that are unanswered, which I am sure the elephant readers can help me with:

  1. If I go to a book signing with an electronic book, do I have the author sign my book with a sharpie, like it is sports memorabilia?
  2. Why do companies continue to use chemicals known to lead to wonderful ailments like erectile dysfunction?  The Kerr Corporation uses BPA in their jar lids and openly hides behind lax FDA guidelines?   Is the United States really by the people and for the corporation?  (Sorry three questions in one).
  3. Why do we trust brand names? Why are we are willing to pay a premium for “Whole Foods” labelled goods.  (See question 2, corporations exist for their own nefarious good.)  Just because it says “Whole Foods” does not mean your food came from a local or even sustainable source.  The ancillary matter is just because it says whole foods does not mean it is does not contain growth hormones or genetically modified food.  Can Whole Foods really identify the sources of their ingredients?  Or if they can not, do they simply slap on the “natural” moniker and smile with greed? (On Wall Street this practice is known as “grin f*cking.”)
  4. Every organization is trying to attract the young professional to their ranks, but most organizations give discounts to youth and seniors.  I just don’t understand where the marketing gurus are on this?  Please help our parks and art institutions figure out this marketing conundrum.
  5. When will the elephantjournal run an article, “Online use plummets as teens take up reading books?” Are we a better educated society because we hook our brains up to WiFi or are we better off reading David Foster Wallace and learning about Objectivism and focusing on a single mental stimulus?
  6. Why does tea tree oil clean both yoga mats and teeth?  Have you kissed your yoga mat today?
  7. Why does Boulder have three Pharmaca’s and eighty dispensaries?  (Has elephantjournal run a poll for the best dispensary name? I think the best name for a dispensary is Fresh Baked, on Pearl and Folsom).
  8. Why does Boulder have eighty bead stores?
  9. Who in the administration is looking to “control charitable giving,” while the Supreme Court has loosened corporate giving standards to political campaigns?  By the people for the corporation?
  10. Is the world as venal as it appears?  Is our domestic energy policy really being sorted out by the oil companies?
  11. I am not Letterman; the elephant’s journalistic standards would not permit the publication of a Top 10 List.

I am 42.

If 42 is the “Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything” then why do I still have so many unanswered questions?  Boulder is the home of many crowd sourcing software companies; please elephant readers—let’s solve life’s major questions.

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