July 28, 2010

Self Sabotage.

When Your Best Intentions Come Undone.

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away…

… A little girl drove through the city suburbs with her parents. As they passed through the wealthiest area, her mother pointed to the big houses and said:

“You see this—this is where the bad people live.”

That girl grew up into a beautiful woman who somehow never seemed to have enough money!


… There was a very young boy who thought that his father was an all-powerful superhero! He loved his father so much that he lived for the moments when He spent time with him, played with him, gave him attention. Unfortunately his father was A Very Busy Man, and those moments only came when the boy was sick, injured or in trouble.

When that boy grew up, he was unable to see how beautiful he was: he believed that he was only deserving of love, attention and play if he was sick, injured or in trouble. He spent many years constantly sick, injured or in trouble, without knowing why!


… A sensitive, emotional boy wanted nothing more than to play and enjoy his childhood. His father didn’t want a sensitive, emotional boy—he wanted a tough, hard boy, because he thought that the world was tough and hard. So he told his son all the time that he was useless, and he didn’t let him play—his boy had to work all the time so that he would become tough and hard. So guess what? That boy grew into a man who always felt useless, and only ever wanted to hide, escape, and play!


… A curious five-year-old girl was at kindergarten. It was rest time, and all the children were lying down under blankets to have a nap. Our heroine lay on her belly, and began to feel a strange sensation in her abdomen. It was her first experience of sexual energy, and it felt wonderful! She wanted to explore this new gift. Under the blanket she pulled her pants down and began to play with that energy.

Unfortunately the teacher saw what she was doing and whipped the blanket away to expose and humiliate her in front of the whole class.

That little girl grew into a woman who found it very difficult to enjoy sex…

These are true stories which I use here to illustrate how our underlying attitudes are sometimes ‘ruled’ by subconscious beliefs and associations, which in turn dominate our lives. This is what I refer to as a ‘subconscious blockage.’ To be clear: the above four people came to me because they had problems in their life with wealth, health, self esteem, and sex, in that order. Clearing people’s subconscious blockages is part of my work as a healer.

Other examples of very common blockages are those towards success, failure and change.

A blockage towards success might manifest itself as persistent ‘bad luck.’ You might always be just that one step away from achieving what you want—but never quite getting there.

A blockage towards failure might look the same as the blockage towards success (never achieving the results you would like) but it happens for a different reason: because you are afraid of failing, you never really commit yourself fully. Perhaps life without success is simply more ‘comfortable’ than the possibility of failure?

In 3 months, I will be a father. I am delighted and overjoyed, and have been since my wife and I found out. However, the impeding big change also helped me to discover in myself (and heal) a big fear, which I blogged about previously on elephant.

I once saw someone wearing a T-shirt with the words “Your parents f**k you up. They may not mean to, but they do,” printed on the back.

There’s some truth written on that T-shirt!

However, it’s not our parents’ fault—on the contrary: they inherited their issues from your grandparents, who inherited them from your great grandparents, and it’s just a pattern that goes on and on, far back through our ancestors. It’s also not only the parents that do the damage—it can be teachers, other family members, neighbors and institutions (such as a church).

The fact is that our society is really in a big, big mess.

It doesn’t value the heart. It doesn’t value spirit. It doesn’t value value!

Our society does value power, sex and fame. It values quantity over quality; history over truth; appearance over reality; drama, controversy, and sensationalism over harmony. It has been doing this for a very long time. The result? Corruption, greed and ignorance at the very root of our daily experience—at home, at school and in the media.

So it’s not our parents’ fault at all. If they were mis-educated themselves, how could they know better?

In fact, the real issue is not whose fault it is, but what we are doing about it.

It’s time for us to really look at the situation honestly. We owe it to our children to do so.

Can we afford to continue repeating the same old patterns again and again? The same patterns of abuse, aggression, fear, corruption…

Or should we think a bit more deeply about what could be—about our potential as a species—about the possibilities for humankind?

My purpose in writing this is not to frighten the hell out of you, nor is it to make you introspect to the point of gazing at your navel!

The real intention behind all my work is to inspire and motivate people towards the kind of profound, lasting healing that I know is possible.

I have found that there is a new paradigm of alternative healing emerging, based on the unprecedented new relationship slowly being formed between science and spirituality. Those two age-old enemies have begun to realize that they have actually been saying the same thing all along, only in different languages.

Slowly, they are beginning to speak in the same tongue, and the results are really quite astonishing. For example, various spiritual traditions have spoken for many thousands of years about body-consciousness. Science has recently found that the cells of our body carry memory (and therefore consciousness). For a remarkable example, read this article on epigenetics from Time magazine. (It also explains very well what I mean when I say that very often, our blockages are inherited).

This merging of the boundaries between science and spirituality has led to a revolution in healing—that means it is faster and easier than ever before to let go of these old blockages and patterns that hold us back.

We are innately perfect. We are pure consciousness. You are pure, perfect, divine consciousness. You were born that way, and you will always remain that way.

The reason why you sometimes don’t feel perfect and divine is that mankind has forgotten its essence—its divine nature. But the truth is, as is written in the Bible—we were created in the image of God.

So, if we’re really perfect, all we need to do is let go of all that is blocking us from our experience of perfection, and remember our essential nature!

That is what the new paradigm of healing is all about: simply letting go of the blockages.

It means that the old paradigm—which said that healing was hard work, took a long time and could only be done by ‘special’ people—is redundant. It is now possible to transform limiting blockages into unlimited potential.

My belief is that we will not change the world into a more peaceful place until we do this work on ourselves. All the anti-war protests, angry environmentalist blog articles and political posturing do very little to support real, lasting change.

I believe that is why Mother Theresa said:

“…I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations… as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”

We need to free ourselves from the violence, greed and selfishness that is within, before we can hope to see our love manifest outwardly.

What do you think—have you experienced letting go, or healing, of subconscious blockages? Please feel free to share your experiences, thoughts and ideas by leaving a comment.

(With thanks to Mark Stivers for the cartoon: http://www.markstivers.com/)

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