Dating a Yoga Goddess.

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Via the lovely, feisty Holly Westergren and our friends over at Sir Richard’s:

Okay boys, gentlemen, not-so-gentle men, knights in shining armor, pimps and playas…

You’ve see us in the gym, in yoga studios, in magazines or on TV. Maybe you’ve even taken our classes—we yoginis, the flexible dare-devils on a spiritual mission who seem to float around the world so freely. We’re a different breed. Most of us are born travelers, nomads even. Most of us don’t like societal rules and conventions. And most of us don’t adhere to them and have dedicated our lives to living outside boxes in some way or another.

This is a beautiful thing that many men find intoxicating and exhilarating— until they realize that it also scares the shit out of them. This is true especially for the kind who look good in ties.

For the multi-talented beautiful Yoga Goddess, finding a life partner who is traveling down the same road or wants to walk hand-in-hand with a Yoga Goddess on her journey is much more difficult for her than any forearm balance. Yoga Goddess, more specifically, a woman from a Western civilization who teaches yoga for a living, especially in a metropolis of some kind, is a complicated creature who has elected to remove her Western goggles and instead apply and be guided by Eastern philosophies and practices of self-actualization.

This makes her an intriguing and complicated creature to most men, but I assure you, she is not entirely inscrutable. You have only to understand that underneath her yogi persona, your Yoga Goddess was probably fed fairy tales for most of her life, where damsels in distress waited to be rescued by the Prince. Now she is grown up and she is a Yoga Goddess, a yogi who has discovered her dharma ( this is the Sanskrit word for one’s “virtuous path”) and a devotion to God which has eased her existential distress but probably not completely relieved her of the distress of the romantic variety.

A Yoga Goddess can appear to many like an untouchable, statuesque, ephemeral, mystical, zany, Aphrodite-esque theatrical mess on wheels. To many men, she is bewitching and beguiling, she can unsettle you with her eyes and bring you to tears when you least expect it. A Yoga Goddess can see souls. She knows how to make you feel things you may not want to feel, which leaves many men feeling too vulnerable in her presence to ever feel good enough. Know that the Yoga Goddess of your dreams is not out to emasculate you but that it is her wish and it is within her power simply to help you open your heart. Sometimes, a Yoga Goddess forgets her own power and forgets too that a man might not want the woman he is pursing to have that effect on him. Know that she knows this but can’t always help it. Her soul work goes deep. The tricky part is, as a highly sensitive healer and woman with deep compassion for human suffering, she no doubt has walls of her own that you will have to be willing to tear down for her to feel safe enough to let you in. Therein lies her beautiful complexity.

So, here are some essential things you should know before you set out to win the heart of a Yoga Goddess of your dreams:

1) Get over the fact that a Yoga Goddess is probably someone who is a little bit dangerous to take home to meet your mother.

It occurred to me recently that this picture alone might actually have been why my last relationship didn’t work. If you want your Yoga Goddess for your very own, you must grow up and get over needing your mother’s approval. Yoginis are sparkling, creative, charming, intelligent, beautiful, sexy, highly intuitive and charismatic women who your mother might not love at first and will come to love eventually. But we’re also wild and free-spirited, with a lotta bit of hippie hell-raiser on the inside, which has the potential to feel threatening to many mothers who just want their son to settle down with a nice girl who won’t make too many waves. The good thing is that these qualities are usually countered with equal parts compassion, faith, and altruism. Yoginis also have chameleon qualities, so it is possible that your Yoga Goddess might be willing to dim her light for a meeting with the parents, but do not be surprised if your beloved Mumsy gives her the snake eye for reasons you cannot and will not ever understand. It’s a witchy woman thing.

2) Yoga Goddesses don’t do small talk.

Yoga goddesses usually cut the shit and get to the stuff that matters. Questions like, “What do you feel? Where do you feel it? What do you believe? Have you surrendered?” are a Yogi Goddess’s version of small talk. A woman who has chosen a spiritual path and dedicates her life’s work to helping people unify their mind, body, and spirit in profound and transformative ways is just not very good at shooting the shit with strangers and will tend to fire away questions that get right to the heart of the matter. If you need her to tone down the yoga talk, simply brief her before dinner with your boss. You can take her to work functions and she will do just fine for a while, but you might hear her take very deep loud audible breaths throughout the course of the night to manage her sensitivity to the noise and heavy lifting of bullshitting. Keep in mind, in her line of work, she meets people for the first time on the floor in sweatpants, and spends her days reading about God and breathing. So, don’t be surprised if she might need to go and do a headstand in the corner after a few vodka tonics to handle the change of scenery and relax her face from all the fake smiling.

3) Yoga Goddesses consistently crave and create adventure for themselves and others.

Yogis by nature are adventurous so if you’re not willing to be adventurous, in all kinds of ways, if you need to play it safe because you’re afraid of what people will think, then the Yoga Goddess is not for you and she probably won’t date you anyway. For the Yoga Goddess, it is not enough to simply like the idea of adventure. She will test your strength, she will keep you on your toes, she will love it if you surprise her just as much as she surprises you. If you’re a stable, steady kind of man, she will love you for your groundedness but ask you to abandon it on occasion in the name of faith, courage, and wisdom. That’s just how it goes. One of the most romantic things you can do for a Yoga Goddess is to plan a trip for the two of you and surprise her with it. She is used to taking the lead with plans and orchestrating events. To be cared for in this way is a Yogi Goddesses’s dream. And yes, the adventure extends to the bedroom, naturally. Don’t be scared. Yoga Goddesses are very gifted and patient teachers and healers.

4) A Yoga Goddess will turn your world upside down.

If you fall for a Yoga Goddess, it is very likely that she will very gracefully turn your buttoned-up world upside down. Afterall, she has been called to teach people to see things from another perspective, to look at things differently, to encourage people to challenge their ideas about who they are and what their lives should look like. This is probably why many men will date Yoga Goddesses for a time but never marry them. The potential for change is too great for many men who are intrigued by the possibility of being with someone so free-spirited but who are ultimately uncomfortable with what life might look like with someone who is so comfortable with uncertainly, so in tune with and guided by spirit. Someone who possesses an ardent faith in things unseen can feel too intense for someone who is not prepared or interested in a spiritual journey. So, while your Yoga Goddess can be playful and fun-loving, she takes her life, her vocation and her spiritual path very seriously. A man who earns a Yoga Goddess’s love must respect and admire her work, understand its value to humanity.

5) Yoga Goddesses are mysterious.

Yoga Goddesses do not go out of their way to be mysterious, they just are, simply because they have surrendered to the mysteries of life, have given up searching for answers for why things are and very comfortable living the the gray areas of life. If you are a rigid thinker, the Yoga Goddess is not for you. She is a free-thinker, open-minded and open-hearted. She prizes authenticity over knowledge and accomplishment and leans into the mystery of life at every turn. In my experience, this terrifies and confuses many men. Yoga Goddesses are not good planners since they are usually out doing God’s work, will entertain detours if led by spirit to go left instead of right or to be late for an appointment because of a chance encounter with a mystical stranger who seems to have an important message for her. She will require your trust and patience and she will return the favor tenfold. If she keeps you waiting, chances are she will have a magical reason for it, a wonderful story that keeps your faith in things unseen alive. She’ll tell you about it while giving you some kind of exotic massage. She cannot be rushed. And she will not let anyone else set her pace for her.

6) A Yoga Goddess is the hostess with the mostest.

She will cook you things to balance your doshas and if you don’t know what those are, she will help you identify them. She will play amazing music from all over the world that will transport you into other galaxies. She will know what to do with your body in many situations as well as what kind of oils to rub on it and where to make you feel like the God you are. She will create a house of harmony, health, balance. She will want to care for your mind, body, and spirit. She can’t help it. It’s her job.

7) A Yoga Goddess is still a material girl.

A Yoga Goddess is not immune to desires of the flesh. Though she has probably made the decision, at certain points in her life to disengage from the material world as part of her spiritual training, she does still enjoy earthly comforts like jewels and fancy dinners and unexpected trips to exotic locales. And she is still a girl looking for a boy to love her, honor her, and ravish her.

8 ) A Yoga Goddess cherishes her freedom and yours.

The yogic path is often called the quest for the jivan mukti, or the soul’s liberation. A woman who is on a yogic path understands that souls want what souls want and that a relationship is meant to be a place where those desires can be expressed without shame or guilt. This can make her seem like she has the potential to be so free-spirited that she just wants to be free-wheelin’, free-loadin’ and free-lovin’ her way around the world. Not so. A yogic-minded woman simply understands for herself that we are all here to be each other’s teachers and students and that there is no better place for the expression of that dynamic than in a loving partnership.

Read on for 9 and 10 over at the Sir Richard’s Salon.

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anonymous Apr 3, 2015 6:40pm

sorry ladies "self proclaimed goddesses" no man wants to date an ego that big. good Men want to date a humble woman whos yoga practice is not a walking advertisement. Yoga still meaning union of soul and universal consciousness transcends any idea of gender or body identification. an asana expert is hardly a yoga goddess, a yoga goddess is an awakened being simply donning the robes of a temporary female body. , i just cant stop myself from commenting on the inflated egoness of this article and the foolish culture around it. for the ladies who truly identify with this article, Yoga Goddess is a term that doesnt fit you, "McYoginis" is a more fitting description for asana experts that expect to find a man weak enough to submit to this kind of inflated ego…

anonymous Jul 14, 2014 3:29pm

Ahhhahh.. Cactus somtin'

anonymous Apr 30, 2014 1:33pm

…because we all know that yoga was developed by a white, upper-class American woman on vacation in India. And aren't we all lucky that we get to benefit from her enlightenment?

anonymous Feb 5, 2014 10:34am

I'm in!! Squared!

anonymous Feb 5, 2014 6:59am

since when do 'Yoga Goddesses' have to be from a western civilization? You do realize there are yoginis form South America, from Africa and let's not forget Asia (where it all started!) right ?

anonymous Dec 17, 2013 12:29am

Check out my response to this article here:

anonymous Dec 3, 2013 7:14pm

Nailed it 🙂

anonymous Dec 3, 2013 12:42am

I have never read something that describes me, my heart, and my life so completely! Thank you…

anonymous Nov 12, 2013 4:55pm

Pretty cool article. Seems to all make sense. But lets not get carried and assume all yogini women are happy, healthy, grounded individuals! We all know yoginis that could benefit from some serious psychotherapy when the Gods aren't available! haha. You all know it too. People be cray cray.

anonymous Nov 12, 2013 4:30am

I thought this article was hysterical. And adorable. But most importantly, not serious enough to get my panties in a wad over. Commenters: Lighten up. You’re making us look pretentious, uptight and generally irritating to be around. 🙂

anonymous Oct 26, 2013 7:02am

I feel this in my bones and grateful I have a tribe. I celebrate this tribe and its brave author! Thank you for sharing this delightful article, it rang so true for me personally, as a lifelong seeker and lover of life, and many styles of yoga – physical, mental, spiritual, energetic, spacial, emotional…the humor and authenticity of this writing is refreshing, such a shame so many expressed distaste, probably primarily for fear of the term goddess, but this does not dilute that truly magical and ever human blood that runs in our veins even prior to discovering the yogic art – it simply brings us all to union, with yoga and each other. Namaste’

anonymous Sep 14, 2013 2:06am

This is quite awesome. Some points are fairly true and expressed in a touch in cheek way which is so needed for those who Are on an intense spiritual awakening 🙂

Thank you for writing this!


anonymous Sep 12, 2013 3:08am

Actually I think a lot of men are both attracted and intimidated by the sort of 'yoga goddess' being referred to here. Of course all women who practise or teach yoga do not qualify – they may not be physically attractive or they may be spiritually beyond all that – but there is certainly a cohort of supersexy yoginis which fit the above description. Fortunately (or not?) all those I have met were otherwise engaged. Doesn't mean I wouldn't though – maybe next time around…

anonymous Sep 10, 2013 5:00pm

Who self-identifies as a "goddess"? What nonsense. The reason why I'll never date a yoga goddess everything to do with the fact that anyone who calls themselves as such would be way too self-absorbed to think of anyone other than herself in a relationship and none of the qualities listed in the article. Wow.

anonymous Sep 10, 2013 2:22pm

is there anything in this article that has something to do with Yoga….Yoga as aicient tradition for physical, mental and(AND) spiritual practice?

anonymous Sep 10, 2013 9:13am

How very Interesting – that this article and ALL the responses generated – serve to explore a wonderful spectrum from one end of the YOGA continuum to the other. To use the author’s phrase, ” thinking outside the box,” has delineated – TOTALLY tongue a ‘n cheek – an emerging subculture of woman, sociologically speaking , that has sprung out of the pure and beautiful PATH OF YOGA. The article only serves to highlight how Yoga has impacted mainstream America. Thank God for that !

I can appreciate how the YOGA PURISTS might be offended here and there by some of the glaring red flags inherent in the,article, but your commentary was valuable , too. Can you appreciate that YOGA is increasingly impacting society in a very powerful way both spiritually and mentally and physically ? Think sociogically , here, Relax. RELAX!!

The purists among us were true to the integrity of Yoga , which illumined us. That was good.

As sociologists and historians would remind us – any given group will have its PURISTS. In time, offshoots appear as FRINGE-THINKERS , who are not appreciated by the purists, which, is the case here.

I am so grateful that YOGA practice / studios are increasing across this country and it is gaining respect at all levels of society. Yoga is infiltrating the role of women and men in society , which is a valuable contribution, that will lead us to greater mindfulness and humility and self-responsibility. Think of the bigger picture here and relax and enjoy the humor!

    anonymous Sep 15, 2013 12:16pm

    I appreciate your well thought out comment, and would like to respond with my feelings on “Yoga Purists.” Anyone that does yoga, physical or spiritual, and thinks they know the best path or the purist and truest form has the farthest to go on their journey. Those that feel they have read the sutras, learned all they can about meditation, and can’t see that it is their own ego making them think their personal version of yoga is better than their neighbor. Those that fancy themselves modern gurus have much to learn. I recently took a class along side my students, and one of my regulars spoke up about how intimidated he felt that there were multiple teachers and yoginis that were more advanced in the physical practice. He said, “I feel intimidated by you all having such perfect practices. I quickly spoke up and reminded him that any Yogi or Yogini that thinks they have a perfect anything has completely missed the point and has a lot to learn…

    Again, I appreciate your polite and well thought out comment.

anonymous Sep 9, 2013 6:02pm

This article screams 'please worship/love me' (especially when the writer refers to herself as a goddess). There seems to be just one lens – the ego. I read the subtext: your ex mother-in-law envied you/was intimidated by you/in awe of you and this was the reason your previous relationship failed. Unfortunately, this view prevents growth. It's true, some women can be intimated/threatened by others, but I think it's dangerous to see this as the ONLY reason you weren't able to connect with your ex mother-in-law (or, alternatively, why a man with a narcissistic/competitive mother might by drawn to you), and subsequently, her son. How does one heal self-absorption? I think this is a hard one to heal, because the ego will do whatever it takes to prevent you from going deeper (the antithesis of your self perception). Maybe, it's reading some of this feedback and resisting the urge to armour yourself with thoughts that it's because you're too threatening (to men or women), using humour/superiority as a defence ("I thank you for your feedback and I hope you find happiness" – would be an example of a superior/armoured response). Can you do what is the scariest of all, look deeply into the mirror (via some of this feedback, not via self worship). Wholeheartedly connect with the shame in order to heal. I tend to only selectively confront self-absorption in real life, and only when I really love the person and value the relationship. Otherwise, I avoid this confrontation, by walking away or sometimes stroking the lions' mane to prevent the lion's attack (which could be vicious or subtly passive aggressive). The reason I'm doing it now is 1) I love what the Elephant Journal does 2) Despite the fact I felt your article lacked self insight, you are putting yourself out there and that is a brave act, so rather than quietly ponder, I'm sharing my thoughts 3) This is a relatively safe environment for me to explore confronting self absorption in a way I'd normally walk away from (to avoid attack).
It has struck me how easily the self-absorbed absorb even false flattery (striking of the mane as self protection), yet how easily they can shake criticism/true insight. Maybe the rest of us can learn to do a bit of this sometimes. I guess, the aim for all of us, is to see the truth. This is the paradox of yoga – for some, it can become a sophisticated shield that forms the ultimate defence as the opponent/partner can never pin them down.

anonymous Sep 9, 2013 4:38pm

Wow, though this article is three years old, its point of view is fresh, alive and well in our culture, and is deeply disturbing. It reflects an attitude about women that is very much mainstream and sexist, even though it's under the guise of anti-establishment spirituality. Women are expected to be beautiful and unattainable, held up on a pedestal of their own and society's making, where they get to be both spiritual (read conventionally feminine nurturers, care-takers and home-makers – it's their job) and material (still drawn to jewels, fancy dinners, and exotic trips). It is the condition of being regarded as glamorous, where the one being viewed is both dependent on and dismissive of our jealous or lusty regard. Referring to them as a 'them,' other, as creatures is also troubling – what, do they not consider themselves as equals? And are not all the things they expect from their perfect mates not also expected of themselves? Why on earth would anyone want to date an entitled, narcissistic 'theatrical mess on wheels' who doesn't have the capacity to control herself in public without big heavy sighs? …other than maybe for the sex with a hot body in exchange for jewels and expensive surprise trips? And she's going to expect her man to tear down her walls to feel safe? That's a common dysfunction known as 'wanting other people to do your inner work for you'. Egadz, the layers of sickness and dysfunction here run deep, and they are pervasive in this our confused culture that is obsessed with having it all not knowing exactly how foolish and misguided that is. We want the 'spiritual' life, but only insofar as it serves an identity and a lifestyle that keeps us as superior, separate and comfortable. In short, as long as it's all about me, then I'm good. That's definitely not 'living outside the box.' No offense to the author, you write well, and I know you view such yoginis as empowered, as does our culture – I just wish to point out the often overlooked, disturbing subtext in the 'yoga Goddess' phenomenon. Peace.

anonymous Sep 9, 2013 3:45pm

I love this, and everyone who is giving you crap about it is taking life way too seriously. From one Yoga goddess to another, blessings and light to you.

anonymous Sep 9, 2013 2:50pm

Wow. What an egotistical article. Way to stereotype yourself and set yourself apart with a craft that was meant to connect one with the divine, which is the underlying love in everything in the universe. You just mocked your own craft to no end. This article should be called yogi hubris. Perhaps the feeling of separateness you are expressing comes only from you. Patangili is screaming at you from the astral plane.

anonymous Sep 9, 2013 12:58pm

I married my Yoga Goddess.

anonymous Sep 9, 2013 9:39am

is the author 16 years old? this is a new low for EJ

anonymous Sep 9, 2013 4:19am

Dating a Yoga Goddess since 3 years, agree 100%!

Good to know I'm not the only one, should we start a "Yoga Goddess boyfriends club"?

anonymous Sep 9, 2013 2:44am

When the goddess term first appeared a few years ago in my world, all my female yogi friends became one. I enjoyed the intent and understood the meaning at that time, as an empowered woman who was conscious and free. I loved it. I've been in relationship with a few 'goddesses' and enjoyed those moments very much. That said, I think it has now moved on to be far more than that. I have seen it move from a playful term to one that seems to foster a delusional sense of a super power by just appointing oneself a goddess. A dangerous label, as any label is when it defines you. Irony is, I can see the responses from goddesses, that If I don't agree with your perspective, then something must be "wrong" with me. How very yogic. Have fun with it… but don't believe the hype. Between the pay wall concept and this article, I go bye bye Elephant Journal – Mr.God, and yes you can drop the formal part and just call me God.

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 10:48pm

LOVED this article. It makes me sad that so many narrow minded yoga practitioners are so quick to jump on the hate wagon. Unclench your asses and stay with the practice. One day you’ll find a bit more flexibility not just in your body, but in your mind as well. Try to laugh a little. It’s good for the body, mind, and soul. Thank you for this light hearted and entertaining article. Keep publishing these great and diverse articles Elephant Journal!!!

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 6:16pm

FfAbUlOuS article..I can soo relate and plan to frame your article!<3

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 6:09pm

This article read like an 18-year-old's email that's letting her best friend in on all the "badass" shit she can do once she moves out of her parents' house. The tone is irresponsible and immature. I know several yoga teachers- even more practicers- and while they all emit an admirable security that comes from self-awareness and dedication to faith, they never bloviate. And they certainly never imply that the freedom they experience with their chosen path entitles them to do whatever they want at the expense of others. Using faith/spirituality/enlightenment to justify selfish behavior (being late, saying whatever you want, not even attempting to get along with someone like your boyfriend's mother because you're a free spirit and she needs to just deal, etc.) gives a bad name to those who genuinely embrace yoga teachings for the good of everybody.

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 6:05pm

I loved it and totally identified with it. I expereinced a lot of this growing up…way before I even practiced yoga. Getting caught up in the yerm "yoga goddess" and not hearing the love of one's self and committment to one's path that is contained within it is to miss the point. We must truly learn to love ourselves with the intensity that we try to give and get that from our lovers. If we did thatb there would be a whole lot fewer codependent romantic relationships, which are, incidentally, an idea that we have been sold in movies and on greeting cards. All love stems from the relationship we have with ourselves and ultimately "God" or the "Great All" or whatever you want to call this unifying force…or not call it, which in turn reaches out to everyone and everything that we come in contact with. What could be greater and more yogic and far reaching in its grasp than that? All love begins at home. At least, that's how I see it. Maybe I'm a self absorbed jerk too. It takes all kinds.

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 3:52pm

I am actually pretty disgusted by this article in respect of it's title 'goddess' and the image used 'another slim white woman, sexualising yoga in hot pants and high heels published by another 'Health and Wellbeing' media journal' – which conflicts with the yama brahmacharya in respect of sexual moderation, also moderation in the body, mind and speech. I would not share it, as it promulgates the Western outward sexualisation and objectification of women practicing yoga, associated with the commercialism of yoga by the West – all that I aim to negate when sharing yoga in the West. Yoga is an inward journey that teaches humility and awareness in all aspects. Peace, Sky.

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 3:30pm

This is awesome! I came in a lil nervous, wondering how many cringes I’d have lol but instead I had many head-nods, mmhmms, giggles and aweeee thank you for saying that so clearly”‘s ! Wonderfully written. I relate so much xo

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 3:24pm

This is meant to be ironic, right?! Anyway, hilarious. But doesn't really inspire me about yoga. Unless it's ironic. Then it's pretty brilliant.

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 3:01pm

Correction in my comment: I don't know where the name "Holly" came from, I meant to say Alex.

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 3:00pm

I feel like some take this article way to seriously. (As with all articles on the internet. "*sigh*) The way Holly put it, she wasn't saying the "yoga goddess" describes herself as such, or puts herself on a pedestal, Holly is simply stating, that this is how they can come off to others. Sure, not all the characteristics apply to everyone, (Im about to google ''doshas"). BUT, wither or not some parts of this are true and some aren't, I believe this is still a hilarious, interesting, and informative article. Especially to men!

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 1:14pm

Not sure if this a list of true and necessary facts about a general social archetype or an arbitrary list of narcissistic self congratulations.

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 11:24am

lighten up people!!!

anonymous Sep 8, 2013 10:36am

Kinda egotistical, if not humorous! 😉

anonymous Jul 20, 2013 6:35am

A REAL Yoga Goddess has let go of her ego (just sayin')

anonymous Jul 19, 2013 9:49am

Well i'm glad we have yet another sub-genre of human with another sub-set of rules to follow that somehow ironically crushes the core of humanity and what otherwise excites me about getting to know someone…

anonymous Jul 19, 2013 8:31am

amazing and acurate as for myself 🙂 feel so good that you expressed it in written way. happy true life to you:)))

anonymous Jul 18, 2013 10:25pm

PRETENTIOUS. Yoga is about dissolving one's inflated ego. WTF happened? Thanks a lot I puked in my mouth. Ever thought about the other balancing aspect of this "goddess"? The Negative aspect? Yea… That…

anonymous May 28, 2013 10:17am

edit: "how to be authentic with your teachings in class and still DATE students while entire…. sorry, peeps.

anonymous May 28, 2013 10:15am

Well, I guess the next obvious article to come…probably written by me i'd assume is… "When Your The Man" (From Up here.. the Male Yoga Teacher) : how to handle being wanted, how to be authentic with your teachings in class and still students while entire communities squirm because you know what love is and don't mind being judged for the fact that you they don't or maybe you just see past what Yoga isn't. Have you been to WanderLUST lately? Peace out.

anonymous May 26, 2013 9:45am

Gotta say this article made me laugh….in a good way. Made me think of Dharma and Greg. That was such a great sitcom. Hubby and I used to watch it and laugh our asses off. There were many many episodes where we'd felt like they'd mined our lives for the story line. We've been together for 34 years and I don't think my MIL has made her way to loving me yet, but I think she graciously puts up with me. We've learned over the years what topics are best kept off the table.

I've only been a yoga goddess for 10 of those 35 years. But it was inevitable. Whenever my dear hubby rolls his eyes at me I remind him that he picked me and the first time he saw me I was wearing purple pants – which he liked. So he was plenty fore-warned.

anonymous May 26, 2013 7:03am

Funny, I absolutely loved this article!

I see nothing wrong with appreciating the goddess within you and others too. Well-written, and I identify with a lot of the points (don't do small talk, adventure loving, etc.)

Thank you for sharing Alex! 🙂

anonymous May 26, 2013 6:26am


anonymous May 26, 2013 1:25am

To be so egoist in this article, really makes me look down upon the name of a "yoga goddess." HA. I respect those who just love what they teach and what they do without really putting themselves up on a pedestal like this.

I would think to really be in connection with God and with yoga, you'd put yourself down first without putting out your spirit and the worth of your Being too. Putting yourself up like this is nice in a simmered and subtle way but please, refrain from it.

These types of women feel like Geminis, Sagittariuses (especially) and Aquariuses to me, in an astrological sense. lol

anonymous May 26, 2013 1:14am

Eh…somewhat narcissistic. I don't wear a tie but I do work in that environment and I've done more personal growth work than 9 out of 10 yoginis. Especially in the Bay Area doesn't take much to call yourself that and it's not intimidating to most men out here.

anonymous May 20, 2013 2:35pm

This is an abomination of all things spiritual. What load of egotism. If this were on the Onion, I would think it genius.

anonymous May 20, 2013 12:39pm

what self absorbed garbage -stupid rich white women have nothing better to do than bastardize a deep practice & make it an egotistical trip. Yoga leads to selfless service of others – teach the less privileged or something instead of sticking your head up your ass

anonymous May 20, 2013 12:11pm

I just threw up in my mouth…

anonymous May 20, 2013 11:49am

Yikes …this is hilarious ! Please spare us from Yoga goddesses and their self-importance …. 🙂

anonymous Mar 6, 2013 7:34pm

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[…] to show the world who they are and in what they believe. (Added bonus: in social situations, this cuts way down on needless small talk). Tattoos are a flag we raise, a beacon, drawing us together—a true tribal expression of […]

anonymous Oct 14, 2012 12:28pm

I think this article was fabulous! However, without any first hand experience from which to draw, I understand how some people may find this article condescending. Try to see past that. We are no better than anyone else, just different. Really try to appreciate this beautiful portrayal of a yogini and how she interacts with others. Keep in mind that once discovery of this path clobbers us over the head and changes everything, "reintegration" into the world can be a challenge. I have searched for my own way to articulate this to those in my life who don't understand. This article speaks brilliantly to anyone does wish to understand a woman on this particular journey. LOVE IT!!!!

anonymous Oct 11, 2012 12:08pm

Love it! It's right on! (Except for the mom part, I haven't had that experience.) To those who have said calling oneself a yoga goddess pretentious or condescending, I just want them to know that I don't call myself a yoga goddess, that's the term other people use (men and women by the way). I actually laugh uncomfortably when someone calls me that. Sure, I get a bit of an ego feed from it but very quickly I turn my thoughts to God for it is that which people are seeing. It's got nothing to do with "me".

anonymous Oct 5, 2012 3:06pm

Just what i need it to confirm in my life…a Women of God of Service…sometiem so misunderstood even from myself…thank you soooooooooooooooooo much for this article it has turned my day up and uplift my spirit in so many ways…to be with a Yogic Goddess is just more to dare to change. to be crazy, to let go, to snap yourself out of any assumptions in life…to know that is ok not to know it all…and that is ok when everything is simply not ok.

anonymous Sep 22, 2012 1:47pm

[…] […]

anonymous Sep 18, 2012 10:26am

Tie-wearing uptight frat grads be on notice, Yoga goddesses will cheat on you because they are unconstrained. So what if your mom doesn't like it?

File under navel-gazing LOLlery.

anonymous Sep 16, 2012 7:48pm

Good God, this is the most narcissistic article I've read in a long, long time. One can almost see the writer grinding up to her reflection in the mirror and cooing, "Ooh now who is the most awesome goddess ever! You are, yes you are!"

Naively, as a lay person in matters of yoga, I thought yoga was at least in part about elevating oneself up from the ego and finding some higher level of consciousness. Recognizing the good in all and everyone, casting oneself free from self-absorbed vanities and appreciating one's wholeness with … I dunno, the cosmos, I guess. Something like that. But in this post, the stars to follow are not in the sky: why, *she* is the star, and the women like her, and other people are to admire them and strive for their favours, because that's just how fabulously awesome they are!

Distinctly less Buddha than Cleopatra.

anonymous Sep 4, 2012 12:26pm

Sounds like I'm looking for a Yoga Goddess! Great article!

anonymous Aug 24, 2012 2:59pm

[…] you met one of us and have managed to pass go and collect your 200 dollars. Now you’re thinking you’d […]

anonymous Jul 12, 2012 2:25am

Are full of themselves………

anonymous Jul 7, 2012 6:08am

[…] in Sanskrit means “goddess” or “female power,” and the “Akhilanda” means essentially “never not broken.” In […]

anonymous Jul 7, 2012 6:06am

[…] in Sanskrit means “goddess” or “female power,” and the “Akhilanda” means essentially “never not broken.” In […]

anonymous Jun 4, 2012 11:43am

" Yoginis are sparkling, creative, charming, intelligent, beautiful, sexy, highly intuitive and charismatic".. wow too much of "I am this I am that". Every woman is special in her own way.. Just because some one who has great practice and teaches yoga does not make them special.

Also, just imagine a male yoga teacher writing an article titled "dating a yoga god" . Would love to see the reactions to that.

anonymous May 7, 2012 11:50pm

gender. labels! you’re leaving out the Ones living in the bodies of men. we’re souls, we wear these bodies. peace and love.

anonymous May 1, 2012 7:44pm

Cosmopolitan Magazine called…they want their pretentiousness back.

anonymous May 1, 2012 7:23pm

get a real yoga practice…this one is broken

anonymous Apr 6, 2012 8:38am

I can't tell if this article is meant to be taken seriously. I hope not..

anonymous Mar 17, 2012 9:30pm

I have photographing Yoga godess in a collection of 1,000 yoga poses/asanas.
I wanted to give back to the yoga community…so I created the "World's Biggest Yoga Pose Collection" for free with instructions and benefits…Hope you enjoy it and may it help take your yoga practice to new exciting places. Namaste!

anonymous Mar 11, 2012 1:04pm

Although quite entertaining, and some interesting points made, this was a bit over the top, but I personally know the feeling of frustration with small talk. and I date a person who is not on the same spiritual path, if he is on any at all, so i often question where this would lead, specially when my free spirited self feels like she needs to spread her wings and seek similar soul mates. However, I have learned greatly from our differences, specially to be patient and open to his own process. I like to believe that once this lifestyle hits close to home and the seed is planted, worlds collide and it's only a matter of time until they also become more aware, no use in pushing your beliefs onto someone just because you can see their potential, they yet can,

"Just because people are walking paths different from ours, does not mean they are lost,"

I also don't think I am any more mysterious or whatever… Sometimes I tire of trying to make people see the other side of things… At times it simply is too much for people. I like to think of myself as a very normal person, who is extremely approachable, welcoming, and easy to communicate with.

But it is really awesome being this flexible. 🙂

anonymous Mar 6, 2012 4:17pm

This is so awesome! I had a male friend and fellow yoga teacher tag me in this as he shared it on facebook and I laughed so hard and was super flattered that he considered me to be a yogi goddess to begin with. My husband wants to add the comment, that if you think dating one is crazy/scary, try being married to one. 🙂 Thanks for a big smile today!

anonymous Mar 4, 2012 11:12am

If you meet the Buddha on the road who claims they are the Buddha, kill them. For the real Buddha would never need to make such claims.

I feel the same about this article and whatever so called Yoga Goddess/Gods that think so well of themselves they believe that all who teach yoga must be that way as well. This was an excellent article, however, about dating advice to the square business-man types who want to date spiritually loud, high maintenance Western women who have caught the yoga bug like yesterday's Cosmetology School.
I am not saying the author of this article is one such a woman, but the article itself provides an apt caricature, (yes, thank you Jeffrey) of such a woman.

Breathe deep and prosper.

anonymous Feb 27, 2012 11:27pm

Sounds a little like a recent girlfriend of mine. Trust me, it can be a *very* fine line between walking the spiritual path and treating someone like their feelings matter hardly at all.

anonymous Feb 27, 2012 2:56pm

Actually, I think the correct term is "Yoga Diva"?

As in: "I'm ready for my close-up now, Mister Friend."

anonymous Feb 22, 2012 12:58pm

In total support of all yoga goddesses. I loved this article.

anonymous Feb 21, 2012 10:05pm

So I must pander to this “goddesses” unconscious fairy tale programming and “tear down” her walls?

Noted. Please forgive me if I don’t find that even remotely appealing.

Thanks for the thoughts on this particular human mask though.

anonymous Feb 21, 2012 7:45pm

I wonder if there would be any praise if the gender in the article was changed to men… Dating a Yoga God. Me thinks not.

anonymous Feb 21, 2012 1:49pm

this is the most ridiculous piece of trash i have ever read here. why bother calling yourself legit media if this is the kind of thing you are allowing to be written on your site. have a little more discretion and stop letting the modern bs yoga craziness get in the way of the real thing. peace.

anonymous Feb 21, 2012 12:29pm

I think is more LA woman yoga ego and it should not be promoted. Most yoga teachers I know are a complete mess and are not what I would call relationship material. They appear more like needy new-agey women who are only ready to share a sexual space with you if they connect with you on their exact spiritual identity that they have created. Of course this identity has been created by being dumped by the husky masculine man or the rich daddy that chose to abuse them time and time again. I think this whole goddess thing should be trashed and a focus should be made more towards unity and being.

anonymous Feb 21, 2012 12:29pm

This cracked me up. But I must bring light to the heterocentric language employed. I am a woman (and yoga teacher) in a relationship with a transgendered person (female to male). I am very aware of how we are habituated to speak and think in "either/or" ways. I just wanted to raise awareness to this issue. Totally love this piece, though. Cracked my shit up ; )

    anonymous Feb 21, 2012 2:27pm

    I am in love with you Mara. I love how you do so many of these things mentioned above and you truly are and forever will be my Yoga Goddess.

anonymous Feb 11, 2012 9:37pm

This article has a weird tone. I think "full of herself" might be the appropriate description.. which is sadly the opposite of what the yogi-eastern philosophy is supposed to be about.

anonymous Feb 7, 2012 6:18pm

Lighten up people…

anonymous Feb 5, 2012 7:41pm

Alex, you are awesome. Love the article. I'm willing to bet you'd never owned a cactus. For the negative comments, inhale and lift your sternum, you Goddess You!

anonymous Feb 5, 2012 10:41am

Love it! thanks…nailed it!

anonymous Feb 3, 2012 8:10am

It only takes a few lines of this blog for the reader to muse that perhaps the author doesn't understand yoga, but when you get to: "7) A Yoga Goddess is still a material girl", and she asserts that "yoga goddesses" are still spellbound by jewels and fancy dinners, the jig is truly up.

anonymous Jan 31, 2012 4:37pm

A text-book worthy description of the inner world of people with strong narcissistic traits. Beautifully written.

anonymous Jan 23, 2012 4:09pm

This is some of the most self indulgent bullshit I have ever read; however unfortunately for true practitioners of yoga I find this to be fairly accurate as far as the current culture which has popped up in my city. I bet this brat has a namaste sticker on her Range Rover.

anonymous Jan 22, 2012 9:09am

I have to assume this was written to be tongue-in-cheek, otherwise I think I would throw up a little from all the self-indulgent & self-aggranding blahblahblah. It supports all the negative misperceptions of yoga and goes against everything I have come to understand yoga to be.

anonymous Jan 15, 2012 5:55pm

[…] I laughed out loud when I read Alex Smith’s funny (and, at certain points, dead-on) article, Dating a Yoga Goddess. Ah, yes, friend/mate/partner/family member beware: we yoga folk can be a bit […]

anonymous Jan 14, 2012 2:36am

[…] in Sanskrit means “goddess” or “female power,” and the “Akhilanda” means essentially “never not broken.” In […]

anonymous Jan 13, 2012 10:47pm

Just one small point. It is not yoga but yog so you are no goddess when you dont even know how to say it correctly.

YOG and not YOGA

Someone has mutated this language to such an extent that even the experts in the original language have started using "MUTT" words for the language. Very sad.

anonymous Jan 12, 2012 12:10pm

sounds like an excuse for some women to be smug, pretentious and self-centered. whatever… bitches in sheep's clothing. meh.

anonymous Jan 4, 2012 5:27am

What is this article about anyway? And who is Yoga? What company is she/he working for?? 🙂

anonymous Jan 3, 2012 9:48pm

As a yogini, I am mystified by this entire post.

anonymous Dec 15, 2011 1:27pm

words have so many meanings — goddess means greatness or means superiority, depending on how its spoken and how its heard.

anonymous Dec 1, 2011 8:58am

wow wow, such fun ideas in this post, thanks! I could relate to some of these things, most definitely 🙂

anonymous Nov 25, 2011 11:18am

Travis E. Duke I could digg it…

Robin Klasson and some Yoga Goddesses prefer other Yoga Goddesses

Erin Jamieson Blech. Yoga Goddess is a sweating, belching, farting, self-involved human. We all are. Step off the pedestal & represent yourself as a normal person, not a stereotype.

Margaret Pitkin this article is so inane it hurts

Rita Pitkin certainly there is no "one size fits all" in the Yoga world any more than this is outside of it…condom company, what????

anonymous Nov 24, 2011 11:52pm

i suppose yoga is full of ego too.

what better reason not to say 'fuck it' and just take a walk in the woods.


anonymous Nov 24, 2011 12:43am

That is very attention-grabbing, You are an excessively professional blogger. I have joined your feed and look forward to in search of extra of your great post. Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks

anonymous Nov 8, 2011 4:47pm

[…] in Sanskrit means “goddess” or “female power,” and the “Akhilanda” means essentially “never not broken.” In […]

anonymous Nov 7, 2011 10:27pm

The author is so far up her own ass she can't smell the shit she's shovelling.

anonymous Oct 26, 2011 6:59am

So what you are saying is that you are complicated, this doesn't make you different from any woman ANYWHERE. What does eastern philosphy have to say about egomaniacs? For the record, I found your article to be the most annoying thing I have stumbled accross in a long time. That being said I do think you have a talent for writing and should continue to do so.

anonymous Oct 10, 2011 8:49pm

you saw thru my soul

anonymous Oct 10, 2011 8:45pm

This pure narcissism from a yogini? I'm 58, a teacher, and I mourn for us all if this is what we've come to.

    anonymous Oct 10, 2011 8:52pm

    I'm with you – similar in age – this Yoga Goddess concept is just the spiritual cousin to the Cougar concept …
    If a woman around my age has money to burn, they could try to not look their age … they could try to starve themselves … they could buy in to the fantasy …
    Or they could actually get a full LIFE … which doesn't actually have to include a man or significant other …

anonymous Oct 10, 2011 8:38pm

I'm a woman, I do yoga, I will never understand this post. It is more mystifying than what "a yoga goddess" is supposed to be….

anonymous Oct 10, 2011 8:10pm

Carol Horton wrote a great article that speaks to this. Like Carol, I do NOT think that EVERYONE’s “true self” is sexier, thinner, or sweeter, as, for the most part, the yoga marketers are trying to convince us.

Here's a link to it on my blog:

anonymous Oct 7, 2011 2:45am

[…] in Sanskrit means “goddess” or “female power,” and the “Akhilanda” means essentially “never not broken.” In […]

anonymous Oct 3, 2011 10:46pm

[…] Dating a Yoga Goddess. […]

anonymous Sep 23, 2011 10:59am

[…] I rushed to create a title for this piece, I typed “Onlie dating.” I believe in serendipity. I believe in signs, so that stopped me in my tracks. On-lie dating. […]

anonymous Sep 16, 2011 5:11pm

If you disagree with it or don't like it, maybe its because you haven't yet experienced it?

anonymous Sep 8, 2011 2:15pm

I dislike this article and don't think it should represent Elephant. Can you please once and for all take it down?

anonymous Sep 2, 2011 12:38am

I wish more people would write sites like this that are actually interesting to read. With all the garbage floating around on the web, it is a great change of pace to read a site like yours instead.

anonymous Aug 21, 2011 4:00pm

This reminds me. Does anyone know the word for the female equivalent of 'douchebag' (preferably Sanskrit)

anonymous Aug 18, 2011 12:14pm

LOL–“Yoga for Cosmo Girls.” This could be the sub-title.

anonymous Aug 18, 2011 11:01am

[…] sport the occasional bling; we are here in human form ya know. (read the ragging debate about the Yoga Goddess) Once you’ve done the above, now go show your girlfriends some love. Check out […]

anonymous Aug 17, 2011 9:21pm

A Yoga Goddess is a mere mortal, flesh and blood human being without YOUR worship … so, what say, we decide what entity we will worship and not this solipsistic construct that doesn't mean anything …

yes … step away from the altar … there will be no false idols …

anonymous Aug 17, 2011 9:12pm

I think the Yoga Goddess forgot to mention that Yoga Goddesses are narcissistic, self-absorbed, and full of themselves.

anonymous Aug 17, 2011 8:08pm

Hahaha…also, ewhhh…does this woman have some kind of personality disorder or what?

anonymous Aug 17, 2011 7:44pm

Oooohhhh noooooo, not another plastic yogini-doll performing the ever-popular Head Up Her Ass-ana! This is so bad it’s good. What we really need now is for someone–man or woman–to write a piece about how to get away from these posers, though it should be pretty obvious. When she floats up on a cloud of patchouli and whispers, “Have you surrendered?” yell, “Hell no!” and run. You’ll save yourself the cost of all those "jewels, fancy dinners and surprise trips to exotic locales" and most importantly, from having to listen to her chant her mantra day and night, "Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me. . ."

anonymous Aug 17, 2011 6:34pm

[…] “Dating a Yoga Goddess.“ […]

anonymous Aug 13, 2011 10:02pm

I felt like I could relate to every single black ink letter written!!!!

anonymous Aug 5, 2011 5:32am

Hello! Thank you for writing such a complimentary piece – it hit home for me.
By the way here is my facebook group "I am a Goddess". Please do us god/goddesses the honour and join.

Much love and light & god/dess power.

ps. in a relationship thinga-majig myself being a yogin goddess.

anonymous Jul 31, 2011 1:00am

A Yoga Goddess sounds a lot like an ordinary sentient being who is attached to pleasure, adverse to pain, and ignorant of the true nature of reality. That's true of me, as well, but let's all just be honest about it.

anonymous Jul 30, 2011 11:15pm

So special, these yoga goddesses. So better than all others. So attached to their specialness. This is so very, very ridiculous. Get over yourself "Yoga Goddess." You have turned a path towards transcendence of limitation to one more limitation. You're just an ass like everybody else. Stop feeding that swollen, so very special ego. Spiritual materialism at its best!

anonymous Jul 30, 2011 11:09pm

So Yoga Goddesses are the new Manic Pixie Dream Girls? (look it up, I'll wait.)

    anonymous Jul 31, 2011 7:08am

    In my day they were just called the perky ingenue ….

anonymous Jun 26, 2011 7:35pm

Embarrassing from someone who purports to practice yoga, the goal of which is to become less ego -identified. The person who wrote this is obviously playing a game; likes the "look" of the spiritual path but has no authentic concept of what it means. May she find peace.

anonymous Jun 24, 2011 8:25pm

[…] in Sanskrit means “goddess” or “female power,” and the “Akhilanda” means essentially “never not broken.” In […]

anonymous Jun 23, 2011 3:17pm

I personally think the whole Goddess thing is a load of crap. I can read Goddess cards, does that make me a goddess?
Dust particles glowing in a camera flash means spirits are hanging around?

It's like being organic means knowing which store in which to buy organic food, not knowing a thing about how to even germinate a seed.
Most of these goddess types I know are still trying to read these cards to pick the right dude, figure out why the one they have is such and asshole or why the divorce is going so badly? Then they take another hit, have another drink and pull another card…….
Yup, you guess it, I fell in love with one once. Turned out, she was only interested in spreading the love…..around and around.

anonymous Jun 17, 2011 8:56am

[…] of the most hateful comments I’ve ever read have been right here on elephant. Oh say, here, here and here. Well I’m gonna call bulls%^t on all of that right […]

anonymous Jun 12, 2011 2:49pm


anonymous Jun 4, 2011 3:12am

[…] […]

anonymous Jun 3, 2011 2:33am

[…] NOTA BENE: My humble apologies first to my Creator in Heaven and next to you, dear readers, for that collosal piece of crap article I penned called Guide to Dating a Yoga Goddess: Damsels, Dharma, & Distress. […]

anonymous Jun 2, 2011 12:50pm

i love this article because there are so many things i can relate to, but as a teacher of gender studies and an aspiring yogini, i must say sometimes we get too caught up in our gender role and the gender performance we are all a part of. this is the life we are in now, in a woman's body, but i do believe our souls are genderless…and yoga, prayer, my spiritual path all connect me to the formless form of me and allow me to discard a lot of fears that are based on my socialization as a woman.

anonymous Jun 1, 2011 1:06pm

[…] in Sanskrit means “goddess” or “female power,” and the “Akhilanda” means essentially “never not broken.” In […]

anonymous May 28, 2011 7:34am

Amazing entry girly :o) I am a yoga instructor that owns my own business (so add warrior /amazon to the yoga goddess title and you have "The Tini Yogini") so I find a lot of scared/shy/nervous/adorable men in my dust :o( Even the hippy boys without shoes or ties tend to bow at the first glimmer of mysticism :o) I need to print this out and take this to all my dates with me :o)

anonymous May 16, 2011 5:30am

lmao rofl.

anonymous May 13, 2011 5:01pm

I love this article 🙂

anonymous May 13, 2011 1:52pm

this is aaamazing =D … thank you YOGI GODDESS X BRINGING MORE LIGHT INTO THE WORLD !!!

anonymous May 12, 2011 6:18am

i'd say what a load of shite but most people beat me to it 🙂

anonymous Mar 24, 2011 3:12pm

This is almost totally offensively obtuse. There is nothing wrong with being open minded and exploring, but acting juvenile as described in many places in this article is inexcusable.

I have practiced yoga twenty years before it became trendy in America, and have dated people who practice. Some knew how to act according to context and some did not. It really had nothing to do with their pursuit of knowledge spiritual or otherwise, but their personal level of maturity and awareness of surroundings as well as oneself.

Time to grow up little princess.

anonymous Mar 21, 2011 3:47pm

True all this sista spread the god/goddess love to all

    anonymous Mar 21, 2011 3:50pm

    Also the picture is WINNING!

anonymous Mar 14, 2011 6:11am

I dated a yoga goddess. Then married her. And its worth it.

anonymous Feb 26, 2011 12:57pm

I dunno…there's lots of women running around on Planet Yoga using this Goddess Tag to justify a TON of selfish, manipulative, immature, wounding behavior. They're like Man-Hating Butch "Feminists"….only they look real sexy and act like strippers in many ways. In fact, many of them have worked as strippers. And know all the tricks. I say this as a lover of Women. And Yoga. And Truth. Who has been personally wounded deeply by this type of woman and their behavior. I think it's enough for a man to be a man. And a woman to be a woman. And that involves respecting self and others. And keeping most of the Wild Shit in the bedroom. Word. Peace.

anonymous Feb 19, 2011 7:33pm

[…] I see Nataraja’s cosmic dance in every snow storm, and truly consider every woman I meet a goddess. Over the past couple of years I have realized it is something I both have and need. I have been […]

anonymous Feb 2, 2011 12:23pm

Whether this is true or not, I think my man just appreciates the fact that yoga makes me insanely flexible :0)

anonymous Feb 1, 2011 4:31pm

[…] Shanti shanti shanti: If a yogi is really carried away with himself he might say goodbye to you with, “Shanti shanti shanti.” Basically he’s saying “Peace out.” Pretend not to hear him and keep walking out the door. If it’s a female yogi walk even faster because she probably considers herself a “Yoga Goddess.” […]

anonymous Jan 10, 2011 8:15pm

When yoga enters the limelight of popular culture, it is not far-fetched to expect a fluff piece that mixes yoga with romance. It is total fantasy. Hilarity ensues.

anonymous Jan 10, 2011 8:03pm

it pleases me to see this new community i've joined largely recognizes the fallacy (if i weren't so kind, i'd say garbage) in an article like this. referring to oneself as a "yoga goddess" (as previously pointed out by several posters) is rife with egotism and self-absorption. it's the exact OPPOSITE of selfless pursuit of our universal connectivity.

the yoga instructor i envision cherishes philosophical gems like compassion, moderation and humility – NONE OF WHICH has anything to do with social facades or materialism as described in this article. if what she describes IS what our young western yoga practitioners are like – they're all missing the point ENTIRELY.

gosh, i'm NEVER this critical. i feel like an a-hole, but i think the author meant what dating a stripper is like.

anonymous Jan 10, 2011 7:02pm

Gawd I hate this article. Why oh Why do you keep posting it?

anonymous Jan 10, 2011 6:57pm

I guess I should get my dharma on and start making more serious inroads in this realm…. This is me to a T…..

anonymous Dec 12, 2010 1:22pm

People who date yoga goddesses should regularly get themselves checked for STDs.

anonymous Dec 11, 2010 7:04pm

[…] I laughed out loud when I read Alex Smith’s funny (and, at certain points, dead-on) article, Dating a Yoga Goddess. Ah, yes, friend/mate/partner/family member beware: we yoga folk can be a bit […]

anonymous Nov 8, 2010 5:21pm

[…] to Connecting with a Yoga Goddess: The Next Position. This is a followup to Dating a Yoga Goddess, also by the lovely, feisty Holly Westergren and via friends over at Sir Richard’s […]

anonymous Oct 27, 2010 2:02pm

[…] favorite comment on the Elephant Journal galaxy in response to my article Guide to Dating a Yoga Goddess: Damsels, Dharma, and Distress is by far, “ I would sooner hug a cactus than date […]

anonymous Oct 23, 2010 8:18am

Woman's Natural Spiritual Authority~

anonymous Oct 19, 2010 9:01am

This article, of course, is to be taken lightly and it's strictly tongue-in-cheek (I hope).
If she's serious, God help her…

anonymous Oct 19, 2010 5:07am

What a buffoon.

anonymous Oct 18, 2010 7:35am

Gagula. Not because of heterosexism, but because it's super, duper, über, ultra-cheesy! Yuck! Ack! Blaaaah! Dyin' ovah heah.

anonymous Oct 13, 2010 11:58am

[…] all the would-be suitors of yoga goddesses out there. Check out this article from Elephant Journal. Everything will make sense after reading […]

anonymous Oct 12, 2010 7:29pm

Dating and relationships is a moot point for a real yoga goddess, since she is practicing brahmacharya (celibacy).

anonymous Sep 28, 2010 3:04pm

absolutely loved this article!! sooo truuee.. couldn't read 8-10 though:(

anonymous Sep 21, 2010 11:47am

Sigh….. "to sleep perchance to dream…." sigh…. :o)

anonymous Sep 21, 2010 11:28am

Sounds very similar to Sagitarian women 😉

anonymous Sep 18, 2010 3:09pm

i loved this post! thank you!

anonymous Sep 18, 2010 2:19pm

Love this!!

anonymous Sep 18, 2010 1:20pm

I LOVED IT! Find your humor and remember first principle is to look for the good, if it offends, then you ain't looking at the right things!

anonymous Sep 15, 2010 8:52pm

How very tongue in cheek, I love it! If I live in a semi-metropolis and teach yoga to autistic middle schoolers, do I still get to be a yoga goddess?

anonymous Aug 27, 2010 7:45am

[…] August 27, 2010 by kelliasana in Uncategorized. Leave a Comment This is for all my single yogan friends.  It may be tongue in cheek but there is so much truth to […]

anonymous Aug 26, 2010 12:39pm

[…] For all you fellow yoginis, here is a hilarious post on dating a yoga goddess. […]

anonymous Aug 11, 2010 2:02pm

Is this the result of a new age empowering yoga?
This article only shows how nothing is really transformed in some girls who practice what they call yoga. They remain the same girls with the new identity of a yogini. This is just a new outfit to justify their bitch behavior in the world. What an awkward ego trip this is. I rather share my life with a human girl who does not identify herself with being a yogini or a Goddess. It is better to be in company of a real human being. These newage ‘yogi’ girls tend to create more turmoil and confusion where ever they show. No real peace is ever reached. They are always looking and finding something to upset because they feel they are on a holly mission to better the world of others. Righteousness is a holly trap. I'm not saying it is wrong do good for others; after all, it is a noble thing to always look for possibilities to cultivate love and light where ever one goes. I'm just saying these girls are taking themselves and their mission too serious, to the point it becomes a drag to others around them. They are never at ease with the way things are. I see an awful potential for this disease to spread in the western world now that 'yoga' is such a commercial boom.

anonymous Aug 7, 2010 5:06pm

That’s it, I’m taking up yoga.

anonymous Aug 7, 2010 6:25am

Thanks for the clarification on the picture. I initially thought the girl is practicing some ballet. She needs to put on some flesh.

anonymous Aug 6, 2010 3:40pm

Ohhhhhhh. Yoga Goddesses. The Mad Yogi Poet likes. Word.

    anonymous Oct 19, 2010 4:37am

    Ohhhhhhh, please. Could you possibly be more of a cheeseball?

anonymous Aug 6, 2010 10:42am

So I guess in your special little world all "Yoga Goddesses" are straight? No lesbians? None? Really? None who aren't looking for a man? Please people. I am so sick to death of the yogi as upper middle classed white anglo-saxon protestant normal.
Where are the black yogis? Where are the gay yogis? Where are the transgendered, one legged, old (I'm talking ancient here), yellow, brown, red, poor, yogis? Represent people!

anonymous Aug 6, 2010 6:32am

just wait untill the yoga goddess turns( just how do they do that?)into a mother goddess muahahahahahahahah!

    anonymous Jun 19, 2011 7:52am

    Yes, they should all try to stay goddesses and not age.

anonymous Aug 6, 2010 12:27am

Love this – I'll follow this advice for sure!

anonymous Aug 6, 2010 1:19am

Love the way it cuts through the pretense of yoga and reminds me that it all really does come down to of my some of my favorite sensations. imho one of the things yoga goddesses can do wonderfully well is practice sexuality. So let them go and let the guys show up with some of the same energy to bring it up a little more.

anonymous Aug 5, 2010 10:35am

I read this yesterday, and couldn't quite put my finger on what bothered me about this article besides the fact that the tone seemed condescending. What I came to realize is that calling oneself a "yoga goddess" is fundamentally at odds with actually being a yogi. "Yoga goddess," like all other labels, is a limiting ego construct that obscures the larger truth of who we are, and therefore keeps us in dukha. The more attached we are to thinking of ourselves as a yoga goddess, a non-yogi, a good person, a bad person, etc., the less we are able to move beyond it.

    anonymous Sep 8, 2013 8:04pm

    I agree. I feel like this should be called " how to date an asana goddess".

anonymous Aug 5, 2010 3:53pm

Caricature, indeed.

anonymous Aug 5, 2010 9:38am

Oops~I hit "submit" too soon. Patanjali named ignorance of our real nature and egoism (as well as attachment, aversion and fear of death) the root causes of suffering. Even calling oneself something as exalted as a yoga goddess falls short of knowing our real nature.

anonymous Aug 5, 2010 11:42am

Are you involved with anyone or married? If not call me @ IAM-FREE I hope you like hippie Gods!

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 9:05pm

Good to know, shakti! 🙂

anonymous Aug 5, 2010 2:59am

Love it! Brilliant. xoxo

anonymous Aug 5, 2010 12:33am

Alas, for me, this came too late…good points, though! I dated a wonderful Yoga Goddess for the last 2 1/2 years, but could not keep up, and so I was let go. But, I am not discouraged per se. I will continue to enjoy yoga, and relish the thought of another encounter.

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 5:46pm

This is one of the cheesiest things I have read in a while, and what a massive ego trip! In short, the writer has clearly defined herself. “this is who I am”… pffft…

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 3:48pm

As a yogini, I identify with a lot of what she says: living outside of the box, not doing small talk very well, marching to the beat of my own drum, etc. I like this article, though I see how one might find it a bit abrasive in the constant "Goddess" talk. Sounds like it's coming from someone who was tired of feeling misunderstood by men and decided to lift herself up and keep going……ahhh, who cares. To each his/her own:)

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 3:46pm

I think this is a fun article and want my husband to read it so he will once again be reminded of why I MUST teach yoga (again)!! I found myself pretty close to what is being described here as a yoga goddess and if that is narcissistic, so be it!! Better than being self-deprecating!!! I'm going to start saying this to myself when I practice and telling my students, too!!!!!

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 3:32pm

I would absolutely agree with some of the commenters here that this article seems entirely too pretentious and self absorbed. The yoginis I know and love are much too involved in teaching, helping, loving and living to have time to puff up their ego with this kind of ridiculous self-promotion. This is what makes the yoga scene in places like Vancouver, San Francisco, New York, etc. so intimidating to newbies and not so newbies. I prefer my down to earth, smaller city yoginis who are grounded with a sense of humour and know who they are. They're confident and beautiful but don't feel the need to stuff that fact down anyone's throat.

    anonymous Jun 19, 2011 7:48am

    This New York City-ite concurs. I never experienced yoga class in a small town, BUT I did take a yoga class 20 years ago.
    I'm not so sure small towns have changed as rapidly in the direction of making yoga a "scene" as much as it is over here.

    anonymous Oct 2, 2013 10:33pm

    i'm not sure how puffed-up, cornball, ego-centric pieces have anything to do with a city. there are wonderfully grounded, fully practicing teachers everywhere from each of the cities that you've listed who couldn't get past the first paragraph. yoga teachers who "know who they are" need to spend a little more time on the cushion.

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 2:58pm

Elizabeth Gilbert on steroids (or the organic equivalent)

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 2:52pm

Heh–saravasti3. i'm a yogi from sf. we dont prance about thinking this way, trust me. this article is pure cornball.

Blake Wilson Aug 4, 2010 8:49pm

I prefer yoga demons but that's just me.

    anonymous Jul 30, 2011 11:17pm

    Blake, great response. At least the demons keep you honest!

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 8:36pm

great article! i am atheist, so i read around the god/spirit stuff and focused on the change/challenge/adventure…but the premise is absolutely perfect and spot-on!

and yeah, former bad catholic girl…guilty as charged. 🙂

elephant journal Aug 4, 2010 7:36pm

Via where this article is creating a storm!

Waylon Lewis This entire article irritates me…probably a sign I got something to learn

Forest Engstrom Dibs

Amy Champ Full of awesome.

Jessica Cavalli-Murray I dunno… I thought it was kinda amusing.

Jason Ricca it's important not to cross the streams. the uptight tie-wearing corporate drone isn't meant for the greatness of a yoga goddess…. unless that suit comes off and the real person comes out at the appropriate time.

Jonathan Bradley Real relationships challenge the fantasies we have about who we think we are, something I think Yoga Goddess might be having a hard time with.

Kathy Skaggs Perhaps it's the unrelenting heterosexism?

Tricia Ptak So true Jason

Amy Neill Eye roll. Sigh. Semi gag. Would a "goddess" really need to refer to herself as such? Especially so prolifically?

Ashlee Sadowski Um, it's a pretty condescending article that over-generalizes a particular stereotype. I've met some pretty unenlightened yoga teachers.

Jason Ricca ‎@Amy: nothing wrong with viewing oneself as elevated… but when it comes to the media it's a narcissistic crew. i'm just sayin…

Amy Neill ‎@Jason: Trust me, I'm all for taking the scenic route along the path of enlightenment. I'm as much for the Alpha She as I pull for the underdog. I dig me some yoga too, without question. But Good Goddess! Get OVER your bad bendy self. This particular article, this one woman's point of view, was just a touch much for me.

Tom Dolak
i'm reading this as though it was written by a trauma survivor/addict. makes perfect sense that way and it's not irritating. it explains the compulsive yoga, rejection of social boundaries, need for extreme stimulating experiences, (and lov…e of marijuana, alcohol, opiates and sex that i've seen in my roommate yoga instructors.)

# Jason, as in Shambhala book, it's possible and wonderful to wear a tie without being uptight! Elegance lives!

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 1:07pm

Hilarious, darling! I would like a picture of you, please, hugging a cactus now. Do send it along! Wear something sparkly!

    elephant journal Aug 4, 2010 7:35pm

    You're awesome in your comments–great sense of humor. Good to get to know. I wasn't sure personally how to take this one, it brought up all kinds of mannish uptightness and irritation!

      anonymous Aug 4, 2010 9:46pm

      Yes, you American men. Please loosen your ties. You are in Italy, now. Cosa vuoi? C'mon a my house. The point is, women don't feel good about their bodies and men don't know how to help them because it's hopeless. You want porn stars, some of you, and that's just a bit bizarre for those of us who grew up looking at Botticelli's. We are all works of art, brothers and sisters. This is my message. I've had to do some very in-depth undercover research in the yoga community, including posing as an American yoga instructor when really I am quite British and quite dark skinned as compared to my British grandmother and her ivory complexion. I am a strange creature, perhaps an alien, who has been sent down to heal racial divides among religions, faiths, and colors in The City of Brotherly Love. I teach yoga because it connects people to God and when you have God on your side you can do anything. This is what a Yoga Goddess knows, in the spirit of Artemis and Aphrodite. She knows you men have it rough out there, but it is time to be men. Be heros. Take charge. Scream like an angry Italian. Curse like a big black man. Listen to the world around you. Realize that who you are is nothing but a vessel for God's love to work through you. We are all made of stars. Now I am done preachin, brothas. Thank you, Goodnight, and Amen. Praise God. Don't be afraid to shout it from the mountain tops. What all y'all bitches is missin' is some soul. You know who you are. Don't wait for life to look like the movies. Start writing your story. Start where you are. You don't need anything. Not one single thing except your body and your breath. Lie down, gentlemen. I have for you, a story……

        anonymous Aug 17, 2011 5:17pm

        Love that: "Don't wait for life to look like the movies. Start writing your story. Start where you are. You don't need anything."

        Thanks! ~ Waylon

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 12:44pm

Yoga goddesses (as described in this article): the same people who make yoga, consciousness, and spirituality synonymous with pretentious self-absorption. I would sooner hug a cactus than date one.

    anonymous Aug 4, 2010 11:52pm

    Hmmm. pretentious self absorption, like writing a self indulgent and judgmental comment?

    Its just a fun article, do some pranayam and see that judgment hurts us all, b*tch.

    HAHAHAHAHA. See how I put b*tch at the end, makes me all judgmental as well, destroys my entire point. What is this world coming to, besides the iPhone 4?

      anonymous Mar 11, 2012 12:46pm

      Chill… it's iPad month homie. 😉

    anonymous Nov 25, 2011 12:16am

    Then head to Arizona dearest! Cactus a-plenty there! 🙂

    anonymous Feb 3, 2012 4:49am

    agreed. labeling oneself a goddess? i mean come on. this article is so full of pretentiousness it would likely turn people off yoga. not to mention its hypocritical and attempts to throw all yoga teachers into the same box. not all females who do yoga feel this way or act this way…

    anonymous Feb 13, 2013 12:20am

    Agree. My favorite "Yoga Goddess" is a 60 year old naked man with a gut and a mullet and no such "my social group does this" pretentiousness (that he cares to share online, at least).

    anonymous Sep 8, 2013 11:15pm

    I would prefer to hug a cactus as well but this has to do with a cactus fetish I have.

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 12:40pm

I don't know maybe for me I was a bit jealous that I wasn't more the yoga goddess described…I'm far from statuesque and after 6 years of yoga I still struggle with my forearm stand 🙂 I also am not that fond of being alone… I love god but I love my man more actually (although he does know I have to visit god in order to be pleasant) Sure he has been exposed to things new and different (down to my recent bald head for charity) but I didn't marry the button down type…I married another free spirit that has his own journey to take and we travel together.
I guess I too was 'annoyed' by part of it… I dont' want yoginis to be put on any pedastal – I may teach yoga but I'm no MORE anything than anyone else…my path is my path and it may include yoga but that doesn't make me any more cool or mysterious than any other cool chick 🙂 Maybe you don't have anything to learn but this woman things very highly of herself 🙂

    anonymous Dec 3, 2013 4:46pm

    very well said! I agree with a lot of what you're saying, and would like to add: what if I'm a yoga goddess but don't teach yoga? I think it's any practitioner, really.

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 12:40pm

I had a friend send me this article once, saying "I thought of you"…after I picked myself from laughing I re-read the article. ON some levels I do identify (mostly the rebel, living outside the norm part) but on others I found it a bit egotistical and well…

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 12:37pm

i LOVE Holly. more please

    anonymous Apr 6, 2014 11:38am

    Since Alex wrote this, why are you telling us you love Holly?????

    Next, many people here are distorting the hell out of it. First of all she is talking about Yoga Goddesses, and her description includes international travel and earning a living teaching yoga. VERY FEW "normal" yoginis do either of those things. She also mentioned beautiful or something to that effect. So, those weighing in on pretentious or saying a lot of yoga teachers aren't this are misreading the article ! ! She's (I think) talking about the TOP 1% of all yoga female instructors, the gorgeous ones with perfect figures that every man would like to make love to but as she points out, may be too 'square' for them. I thought it was a good article with a little tongue in cheek, but a lot of reasonable advice warning away the jackasses that just want to screw but not grow and learn.

    I could date a yoga goddess, only I'm already married to a woman who was one, but is now more of a Gardening Freak and a Zumba Fanatic, but she's the best cook on Earth has maintained her great figure by eating an excellent diet (as prescribed by Dr. Joel Fuhrman in his books Eat To Live and The End of Dieting), and remains constantly interesting.

anonymous Aug 4, 2010 7:17pm

OH I'm a goddess NO DOUBT 🙂 but because I am who I am and love that…and I don't think it has anything to do with my figure or my yoga practice.. that was my point. I don't think being woman hear me roar has to sound like we are…. I don't know, does feeling good have to sound so HAH I'm awesome??? …I like a little more softness… as I said I had friends say this article reminded them of me…and I just dont' see myself that way nor do I want to…I'm just me…doing my thing….and I'm no more or less than the next woman or someone that does or doesn't do yoga…I'm still doing my work, loving my man and my kids and grandson and family… I dream of India and Tibet…but I ride my bike to sunflower…keep feeling awesome, all in love.

anonymous Sep 15, 2010 10:01pm

lol joslyn. i think those are called the stuck-up yoga goddesses. fyi there are male versions of those too. the ones who kind of say "are you actually trying to have FUN in yoga class?" these are the ones who probably have been practicing yoga for as long as patanjali.

elephant journal Oct 16, 2010 6:49pm

"For shame elephant?" For what, hosing an article you don't like?

We offer a diverse range of articles—we editors and readers alike don't have to agree with or even like articles such as the above, which is obviously a great and fun article to discuss, in order to host them. You all all people should be up for diversity of opinions—even ones that don't agree with yours.

Search "gay" or "lesbian," on elephant, and you'll find hundreds. I've posted two already today.

anonymous May 17, 2011 1:33pm

I love love love your comment!!
I am a chick and I do yoga but honestly a "yoga goddess" I will never be, ever!

anonymous Jun 19, 2011 7:50am

Not so. There are young wannabes who act this way too.

anonymous Dec 14, 2011 7:50am

You have to times that by 3 for New York City, home of Dharma Mittra …
Look at me and super spiritual merge here, big time …

So glad I have mostly a home practice and that there are a few off-the-radar venues still …

Jessica Oshier Jan 2, 2017 1:51pm

Nothing108 I agree with you for the most part. There were a few questions posed and points That I resonated with, like the little bit of talk of devotion, and the free spiritedness, but for the most part I felt like this was coming from a place of righteousness.

Ashok Choudhury Sep 5, 2016 1:36am

even Yoga Gods are pretty universal ...

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Alex Smith

Alex Smith first learned asana from an 80-year-old man under a banyan tree in India and never looked back. She teaches a breath and alignment centric vinyasa flow and is grateful each and everyday for her practice. When off the mat, she can be found writing, daydreaming, drifting down the med school path, and busting out ujjayi breaths on her bike, buses and mountain tops.