What is the most important moment in your life..?

…for your physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual development.

Shall I tell you?

Your birth.

How, with whom, where and when, in what manner, and under what circumstances you were born are the most influential factors in the development of a human being.

Of course, everything in one’s life is important. Everything has a cause, or countless causes, as well as countless repercussions: because everything in this world is interconnected with everything else!

However, there is an ancient wisdom (in many cultures) stating that the manner in which something is begun, reflects the manner in which it will continue.

I have no doubt that the way in which we are born echoes through the rest of our life.

The reason I am thinking about this, investigating, researching, and now writing about it at the moment, is because my wife and I are looking into ways to birth our first child, due in November. Having done lots of research, we are now planning a natural home birth.

We have read several books about childbirth, seen some amazing movies, met a doula, and visited a birth center. What I have found out is very, very interesting.

I plan to write several more articles sharing what I’ve found, because it has effected me deeply. I now believe that the most important thing we can do for ourselves, our children, our society, and the Earth herself, is change the way we think about birth.

Why? Because most people these days are born in sterile, cold, bright, harsh, impatient, hurried, and unfriendly circumstances. Is it any wonder that our society is getting faster and faster, less and less friendly, more and more mechanical?

Is it possible that if we were to start birthing all our children naturally—slowly and gently, lovingly, with patience and without worry, that perhaps our society would also reflect that change?

I first started to think about all this several years ago when I heard Tony Samara, an amazing spiritual teacher and shaman, explaining that Western medicine views birth as a ‘procedure’; whereas all ancient cultures used to view it as a sacred ceremony. That really got me thinking…

Recently, I had an experience in meditation in which I re-experienced my birth. I felt as if I was being pulled by the head so hard that my body would detach.

Later, I found out from my Mother that forceps were used to pull me from her body.

I know without any doubt, that experience, as I emerged for the first time into this world, shaped the pattern of addiction that affected me for several years.

In future articles I will explain in detail what I believe were the consequences of that moment in my life; what we can all do to improve birthing in our society; and I will also tell you about two movies about natural birth that are among the most beautiful movies I have ever seen in my life.

With love,


Do you know much about the circumstances of your birth?

Have you had a natural birth experience, or a hospital birth, or any other kind of birth that you could share?

Perhaps you have a different view than mine towards childbirth?

Please leave a comment (or I’ll put a curse on you and all your children will be born naked).

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K Sequoia Aug 18, 2010 12:11am

My stories and thoughts (this topic is a bit of a fascination of mine, being what I call a soulwyfe practitioner) may be too long for the comments! I strongly feel that our birth not only may reach far into our life with great meaning, but that it also reflects complexes, boons and banes that we may be needing to work through from other lifetimes as well.

Personally, I will say that the birth of my two girls were vastly unique, as are they. I learned that we often get the birth the child needs, not the birth we want (as my midwyfe cautioned the day of my first daughter's birth – after three days of labor, we ended up at the hospital. My second came so fast we barely made it, she was born in the water and slipped out like buttah!).

I also learned that birth can be profound and beautiful wherever it occurs if the people involved are committed to demanding that love be the atmosphere.

Countless blessings to you and your wife, as you ready to welcome another precious being into the world!
Birth is truly the most pure example of love I've ever experienced.

[email protected] redhandferi

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Ben Ralston

Ben Ralston has been practising personal development—necessity being the Mother of invention—since he was about six years old. He’s been teaching and sharing what he’s learnt along the way for a couple of decades. His main thing is Heart of Tribe retreats—whose very purpose is to help you fall back in love with life, no less. Leading these retreats alongside his woman Kara-Leah Grant—also an elephant journal writer (that’s how they met!)—they combine a deep well of lineage-based yoga teaching experience, with expertise in healing trauma and various other methods of personal development. Ben also works with clients one-on-one via Skype, writes, makes videos from time to time, and is passionate about parenting.
He lives in an intentional, tribal community in the hills of Croatia, where you might find him gardening barefoot and talking to the rocks. Connect with Ben on Facebook or YouTube or check out his website for more info.