10 Dating Dos and Don’ts—from a Woman’s Perspective.

Via Sojourner Marable Grimmett
on Oct 7, 2010
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Sex on the Beach is Danielle’s preferred cocktail, although the iPhone app Carb Tracker suggests Smartwater.

Sexting doesn’t amuse her in any way, and she’s disgusted thinking about what may be peeping out of her inbox. Boring.

She, by all practical purposes, has “got it going on.”

Danielle works out three times a week, watches her carb intake, eats fiber daily, and is considering taking pole dancing classes, just for the “heck of it.” Her consultant job allows her to travel in and out of state, shop and dine at high-end places, and date gorgeous and not-so-hot men.

Five, Six, Eight minute dates are all a blur, but “that one guy in Atlanta may get another date,” she recalls, texting him while we talk. eHarmony and Match.com solicit her with free-trial coupons, that she admits to trying once or twice.

These days Danielle tells her past dates what they did right and wrong, surprisingly not charging a fee. She claims her dating wisdom is so good that former boyfriends call her for advice on a regular basis. She points out, “The first date is a deal breaker—either you’re in or out.”

There are no three strikes and you’re out with her. It’s either you got it, or you don’t.

10 Dating Dos & Don’ts

  • Hygiene is important.  All smells are not good smells. Don’t smell like your house. Don’t over do it on cologne.
  • Be creative on where you take your date out to eat. Chain restaurants are not advised. Try something a little more romantic, not just a place with a dollar menu.
  • If you make it to the second date, do not wear the same outfit. I”ll say it again, I strongly advise you not to wear the same outfit twice.  It’s understandable to have a favorite shirt or pants, but switch it up.
    1. If you’re going to pick up your date and you don’t have a nice car, it must be clean. No dust. No syrup residue from beverages, or funky gym clothes in the back seat. Clean your ride!
  • If your date doesn’t finish her meal, then do not ask for a to-go box for her meal. Do not eat her meal and yours.
  • As a part of dating etiquette, communication is key.
  • Be on time. You only get one first impression.
  • Always pay the bill. If you’re not paying, then it’s not a date.
  • Don’t expect a kiss at the end of the night. It’s always nice to try, because women like to feel desired. It’s okay even if you get “shot down.” A kiss on the cheek, and nice hug will do!
  • Don’t stalk her—but do call her to follow-up within three business days after the first date. You snooze, you lose.

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About Sojourner Marable Grimmett

Sojourner Marable Grimmett has a BA in communications from Clark Atlanta University and an MA in media studies from Pennsylvania State University. She is a stay-at-work mom and her experience in higher education spans over 10 years working in student services and enrollment management. Sojourner previously worked at CNN, Georgia Public Television, and as an AmeriCorp member at Harvard University’s Martin Luther King Jr. after-school program. She lives in Atlanta with her husband, Roland and two young sons, Roland Jay and Joshua. Visit her blog sojournermarablegrimmett.blogspot.com and follow her on twitter.


8 Responses to “10 Dating Dos and Don’ts—from a Woman’s Perspective.”

  1. April says:

    Why can't he take the rest of your dinner home if he bought it? Why not suggest that women who insist men pay for their meals don't order a lot more than they plan on eating?

  2. thil says:

    no offense Danielle but I can see why you're still single. It's not that your list is inherently wrong (although a little sexist), but having a list is in itself a route to disappointment in love.

  3. kate says:

    sets the bar pretty low, and if this were me, i'd be settling for a lot less than i'm worth (just like danielle apparently is). and @elephantjournal, you actually billed this as "mindful" dating advice? points off. to agree with previous comments, sexist (#7 what?) and lame.

  4. […] out of a three year relationship with a wonderful, but troubled man, I have found myself back in the dating world. This came with mixed emotions; at first I thought this will be fun: I’ll meet some nice new […]

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  6. Kath says:

    3 business days????

  7. Rebecca says:

    Pretty standard fare, actually. Everyone is different, especially in this department, so it might work for some and not for others. The best advice is usually not to follow advice…live and learn the hard way so you don't forget!

  8. Gina says:

    Good list except…these the basics that every man should know and do (unless the gal asks him out – then she should pay). Any guy over the age of 15 that doesn’t already know these isn’t ready for a real date.