October 26, 2010

What if Aliens killed us with Sex?

So eco-fashion week is gearing up here in the deep south.This year and every year since I have been born camouflage is the craze! It’s hunting season, and everyone is heading out into the woods for the big kill.

Butt loads of intelligent human beings are spending thousands of dollars to shoot an animal for sport. They work forty hours a week as investment bankers, doctors, or whatever then spend $1,500 on a high-tech rifle so they can shoot an animal that weighs 200 lbs. and stands 40 inches off the ground (bigger than most of them)! Possibly sport begins to creep into the picture as the deer is standing there as a motionless target, while it innocently munches on the corn you left behind, or as it struggles to sniff out the mysterious odor you sprinkled on the foot of the tree, which smells an awful lot like a good time!

(pause for dictionary intervention) *Sport—game involving competition or physical exertion.

Sport?!  What the F@ck!

The deer isn’t competing with you, because it has no idea there is a game being played! You lure them there with the two most potent tools in mother natures arsenal; sex and food! People sprinkle doe urine all over the place and feed them corn. Could you imagine the problem we as human beings would face if a superior alien race came down to earth, and set traps that consisted of beautiful half-naked women standing out in the streets handing out free steaks. We would run over each other trying to get across the street! Here is the catch: as you step out into the street you catch a bullet in the neck! Adult males would be extinct in two weeks. What would we think of a race of Aliens that did this for sport? (Whatever our answer, it must be applied to our opinion of human beings!)

There is something really strange about a human being (only known species capable of space travel) getting out of a warm cozy bed at 5 a.m. Then driving past several supermarkets on their way out to the country with the intention of shooting an animal that they have lured there with sex and food, all in the hope of acquiring no necessary resources.

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