Pure Sexual Presence.

Via Wendy Strgar
on Dec 17, 2010
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“When it’s over, I want to say:  All my life I was a bride married to amazement.  I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.”  -Mary Oliver

Every now and again we are given the gift of true presence.

Usually it is when we are faced with the stark realization of the fragility of life: the moment of loss or the miraculous reprieve. This is when our gratitude for a moment, in this body, with this person that you love is all you need to experience deep gratitude that changes how you see. In these moments of pure presence, the small details of life fall away and the mystery of our frail human form and relationships is all that we have, and all that we ever really had.

This naked place of pure presence is not an easy one to live in. We know in these moments of pure love and connection, pure loss and loneliness, that our emotions are not thoughts in our head, but physical weighty forces that fill our body so completely that they alter our senses. This is why falling in or out of love is a full body experience- one that impacts how we see everything, as well as our ability to eat, sleep and think.

Bringing the gift of full presence into the bedroom is perhaps the most transformative gift you can offer. Entering the bedroom with a grateful and open heart is worth a million times more than even the Lelo 24 karat gold vibrator. We can’t purchase what we want most in the world from each other. Sharing our genuine feelings with someone is the gateway to the most memorable passionate experience available.

Tapping into the deep sexual thoughts and feelings that ring true for you about your partner and offering them with your whole being is a gift that will be long remembered. Replacing old repressed sexual slights with an open willingness to explore your sexuality is not only free to give but will open your sexuality to a new level of freedom that will give to both of you in ways that will transform the meaning of sexual presence.

The meaning and love that you have the chance to make in your life is the only gift that will count when your days together are over. Open your arms wide to the mystery of your connection and don’t hold back. Look for and create the moments when you hold nothing back and bask in what it means to live in the pure presence of love. This is what holidays are meant to celebrate.

As a gift to all my Elephant Journal readers, I am extending our All I want for Christmas Holiday Special to you. Use this coupon EJ25for25 this weekend only for 25% off all the greatest love products and accessories on our website www.goodcleanlove.com until Monday. Spread the love this holiday season with a gift that gets better throughout the year.


About Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family. In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy, she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative advice. It has been called "the essential guide for relationships." The book is available on ebook, as well as in paperback online. Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


4 Responses to “Pure Sexual Presence.”

  1. elephantjournal says:


    Jill B: Hot!!! This is the BEST take on sexuality and celebration I have ever read.
    8 hours ago · LikeUnlike · 1 personJohnie Beth Matthews likes this. ·
    Sudhir Desai I love the phrase – "A bride married to amazement"… it is the equivalent of living and extraordinary life…

    Lisa Kean Wonderful. 🙂 Thank you for sharing this quote.
    Also, I just gave a dozen dollars through Paypal and became an Elephant reader. Thank you for that opportunity. I'm pleased to contribute. Keep up the excellent work!

  2. Ella says:

    That quote from Mary Oliver is so near and dear to me, thank you for sharing it! True presence is indeed the gift that keeps on giving. In gratitude for the work you do and the gifts you offer, Ella.

  3. Reader says:

    I love the message of this article. Pure presence isn't an easy place to be… it's good to be reminded, especially good when shared. Here's to not holding back!

  4. […] Hmm. I’m not buying it. Oh, and #6, I’m a slut. Ok, sure, I can accept that. From a Victorian perspective, it is true. And thank goddess, because if I had been waiting until marriage, I would be pissed. […]