April 12, 2011

10 Ways to Deal with Our Own Negativity and Deprivation

Oooooh chilllld often when we feel negative or deprived, we resort to some pretty destructive stuff. Eating too much, drinking too much, watching too much television, picking fights, cursing strangers, etc, etc, ETC. So, what can we do to help minimize the damage during a dark time?

1. What’s the matter? Nothing. Don’t try to get attention or compassion with anger or acting aloof. It hardly works and it often triggers something worse like an unnecessary argument. Just fess up – you are feeling down, whatever, own it. It can set you free.

2. Remember, mama said there’d be days like this. Accept it. It’s not about feeling ‘perfect’ all the time. It’s about accepting what is. It’s all good. Really it is. Good days, bad days, ups, downs, they are all a part of the process, just don’t hold onto it. Some wise words to remember…this too shall pass.


3. Do something kind for someone. Someone you know, or a complete stranger, better yet, someone who needs it. Find a hopeful perspective. Find love without boundaries, even if you are feeling empty or negative as sh*t. Acts of kindness will fill you back up.

4. Give away hugs. Nothing feels better than a nice, close genuine hug. It squeezes our vulnerability and allows us some connection. Notice that most of us hug with our eyes closed? Yeah, because it feels so good, all the stimuli is right there in the embrace. No need for visuals. Hug friends, neighbors, colleagues, trees, everyone, anyone or anything. Get some contact. Give some contact.

5. Do something mentally and physically strenuous. Run as fast as you can, do 108 sun salutations, hold plank pose, better yet side plank, until your entire body shakes and sweats. Work it out of you.

6. Deal with your sh*t. If your negativity and deprivation are cyclical, hold you back and speak to something deep within (a bad childhood or traumatic experience, a bad relationship) learn to start to deal with it. If you don’t know where to start, start by sitting quietly for a few minutes everyday. Pray and ask for help. You already have what it takes to deal. Know that you can do it.

7. Practice forgiveness. Make a list of all the people you haven’t forgiven. Go as far back as you can remember. Then, reach out to the first person on the list. Make it a goal to reach all of them by the end of the year. Forgiveness helps to release negativity and possibly some real old crusty-dusty negativity that’s been hidden in a far back cupboard.

8. Sing your lungs out. Or listen to music that tears your heart out. Either way, release some of the negative emotion you are holding on to. It’s only keeping you down maaaaan.

9. Do something fun and ridiculous. Get your mind off feeling low.Have a dance-off with a friend, stuff your cheeks with vegan marshmallows, practice the electric slide. Try something you’ve never tried before. Do it! 5-6-7-8…

10. Remember, underneath anger, there’s hurt and underneath hurt, there’s love. I don’t know who said this, but it sounds about right to me. Negativity and deprivation lead to a whole bunch of unnecessary things like anger, violence, neglect, abuse, you name it. This goes for what we do to ourselves and to others.

I have love for you.

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Tanya Lee Markul  |  Contribution: 15,600