July 28, 2011

I am Ready to Say Yes….But?

How often do you stop yourself from taking action on your heart’s desire out of fear, shame, doubt or guilt? How often do you avoid committing out of the fear of failing? Not being good enough? The question, “What’s the difference between feeling your heart’s desire and actually taking action on it?” offers a rich discussion that can shed light on the topic of commitment.

Bottomline:  I have no idea what the results of any of my actions will be. What I hold onto like a life raft getting tossed on stormy Atlantic seas is hope and expectations, which inevitably lead to disappointment when I don’t accomplish what my “little mind” maps out as my life plan.

Committing to my heart’s desire guarantees nothing about the results. A different point of view to explore:  Make the commitment anyway and take actions aligned with my integrity and observe what reveals itself. What emerges probably won’t look the way I think it should. But when a gift is given to world, something always comes back. The creative joyful freedom of expressing from the heart contradicts any and all messages that life is about “should’s.” Life becomes magical. If nothing else, I’m able to observe who my mind believes I am and those nasty distorted beliefs that keep me from my heart’s desire.

Take this example:

For 21 years I planted my feet in the fecund soil of a marriage producing 6 children. I’d say I was pretty committed. Seven years ago the commitment to the marriage ended, but as a Mom never. I am here for life. Even after that relationship I can still feel myself going breathless when I consider revisiting Marriage or any serious romantic commitment. A choking fear rises into my chest and throat. And the feeling of being swallowed whole.

First, the painful memories reveal themselves. Mostly of how I gave up myself. I keep breathing and at the tail end of the pain, a light appears. My heart feels a bittersweet melancholy for the cherished joyful poignant memories of my family as a whole. The births of our children, the adventures, participating in our children’s accomplishments, stumbles, crashes and harmonious times together. I also recognize gifts when I finally stood up for myself and was no longer willing to abandon myself out of fear of losing him, my family and personal identity, as I knew it.

At the moment I said ‘YES’ to fulfilling my heart’s desire, my life was catapulted forward from fear to love. From this paradigm shift, I am willing to say YES to my heart, taking actions that would seem risky to my fearful mind. I take leaps of faith into the unknown expressing my heart’s desire be it in a relationship or writing a book or public speaking. I am a different person now and no longer need to be in relationship for the fearful reasons I was before. The fear gets unhooked when: 1. I recognize I always have a choice, & 2. I am responsible for what I create. I say YES to my heart’s desire even when my mind feels fear. My heart wins! Is there anyone else out there feeling this same victory in his or her heart?  Ready to say Yes?

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