Venus Envy. ~ Dara McKinley

Did you know the most orgasmic part of a woman’s body is the upper left quadrant of her clitoris?

Relephant bonus:

Let’s Get Cliterate: One Woman’s Mission to Educate the World.

I think this is one of the most important and world changing facts to ever be brought to light.

In the realm of Nicole Daedone, stroking the upper left quadrant is called “Orgasmic Meditation” or “OMing” for short and is the subject of her book “Slow Sex, The Art and Craft of Female Orgasm.

The actual practice of Orgasmic Meditation is wildly simple and involves two willing participants, a finger, a clitoris, some lube and 15 minutes of time

Photo: HMVH

(and some pillows, blankets and towels for comfort.) In a nutshell, the stroker (could be your significant other or an OMing partner) strokes the upper left quadrant for 15 minutes via the super affirming guidance of the strokee. There are more details to the technique and I highly recommend getting her book, but this is a good sketch.

Within this simplicity, there is something completely beyond the beyond about this practice. OMing bears some of the ripest fruits I have ever seen in the world of healing and spirituality for both men and women.

I could go on and on about OMing (and I probably will). For this post I want to tell you about the relief I felt after my first OMing experience. It marked the end of my penis envy.

Yes, I have always had a little bit of penis envy. Not that I wanted the actual organ, I just wanted my organs to be as straightforward as the penis (no pun intended). For most heterosexual men, it seems that intercourse with women almost always delivers orgasm. For women, only 29% report orgasm from intercourse with men.

Female orgasm is notoriously elusive. It typically requires a lot of communication and direction, and while women

Photo: Ramberg Media Images

who can communicate and direct are quite powerful, there is ultimately a labor about achieving orgasm that can derail sexual desire. As Nicole powerfully states in her book, “Women have a great appetite for sex, just not for the sex that is on the menu.”

So when I first experienced OMing, I was relieved. I was relieved that the upper left quadrant was clearly defined. I was relieved that for 15 minutes of my life, it was the only focus. I was relieved that my man was game. I was relieved that all I had to do was feel. I was relieved that it never felt so good.

Women have a huge desire to experience authentic sexual fulfillment, and men have a huge desire to master female orgasm. Nicole has discovered and delivered a path that satisfies both.


Dara McKinley is a Naropa grad who traded in her thriving Buddhist psychotherapy practice to become a Pleasure Revolutionary. With adoration and truth as her swords, she is a warrior for the healing power of our feminine essence and the rise of emotionally brilliant folks. Find more of her provocative and soul-stirring writing here.

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May 24, 2015 8:19am

I completely agree – I wonder if it is an evolutionary thing like how our hearts are on specific side of our body? Are there women for whom this is reversed? And I was thrilled when I discovered this quadrant (also understanding why some women like genital piercings).

oooolalaaaa Sep 24, 2014 3:44pm

This may be a silly question, but is it the left side from the woman's own bodily perspective or the person facing her? Thanks

Heather Sep 24, 2014 10:36am

As a woman who orgasms with even, just the thought of it, I believe that it is not only the physical touch, but also, giving yourself the mental and emotional permission to let yourself go. Once you identify where this source of power is located, it is an incredible sensation to realize that
orgasms emanate from our energy core and ability to release and fully give ourselves. So many women clench there muscles and suck in their tummies while making love. But the orgasm uses the same muscles that delivering a baby does. Push it out. Let it flow! It was there the whole time. Nice article.

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