April 25, 2024

Self-Care is Selfish—& Honestly, that’s the Whole Point.

{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}
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I’ve been feeling depleted lately.

Physically. Emotionally. Energetically.

There are days that it takes everything within me just to roll out of bed and start my day. And once I do get started, I can’t even count how many times I consider getting straight back into bed.

Being this level of exhausted is, well…exhausting.

And when I’m exhausted, burnt out, struggling, it can be tough to think about anything outside of what absolutely has to be done.

What I’ve realized is that “what has to be done” is often based on personal responsibility, obligation, and how we show up for others.

It’s big things: Going to work. Paying bills. Caring for our partners and children and pets. Standing up for causes that matter.

And the little things: Taking out the trash. Cooking a meal. Mopping the floor. Running errands.

When that’s all done for the day, how much time do we actually have left for what we want or, better yet, need to do for our own well-being?

So often, I see people say “self-care isn’t selfish.” It sounds mindful but, truthfully, it’s what we tell ourselves because we feel guilty for doing something that’s just for us. We’ve been trained to believe that our worth is tied up in how we serve others, in how selfless we can be. And while there is value in serving others, we are not here to consistently break ourselves for the world around us.

Self-care is selfish. And honestly, that’s the whole point.

We are deserving of our own time, attention, and care. We are worthy of moments that bring us unbridled joy and peace, especially when those moments are about no one else but us.

We don’t need a reason or an excuse. We don’t have to convince others that we’ve sacrificed enough to earn a little “me” time.

All we have to do is show up for ourselves.

And then choose to do it every day at a level that makes the most sense for our lives and our needs.

I recently asked Elephant readers: “What is one self-care practice you refuse to sacrifice, no matter what is going on in your life?”

It was interesting to see both the variety of activities that matter to others, and how confident everyone was to claim their own time and their own happiness. To be unapologetically selfish.

Here are 25 self-care practices that Elephant readers cherish. Maybe you’ll find one that speaks to you:

“Daily walks in nature. It’s incredibly grounding, and eases my soul.” ~ Alison

“Staying away from toxic peeps.” ~ Sarah

“Fasting and pedicures.” ~ Roseann

“Tongue scraping, the first thing when I get out of bed.” ~ Jann

“Taking my time. I refuse to rush anywhere or anything.” ~ Elise

“Live music.” ~ Jill

“My space for myself when I need it.” ~ Renee

“Drinking water, mindfully.” ~ Anita

“Hair washing (and good products).” ~ Louise

“Cuddles with my pups, a win-win every morning that I wouldn’t miss for anything.” ~ Jodi

“Avoiding men.” ~ Shei

“Exercise. To me, it is just like brushing my teeth. It’s always somewhere on the day’s agenda.” ~ Wendy

“Yoga every day.” ~ Frank

Baths and writing, even if it’s just a few minutes in the tub or a few lines scribbled.” ~ Justice

“Masturbating. Super important, self-love practice for everyone. Connect with your body. Stop thinking it’s taboo.” ~ Lori

“Reading my tarot cards whenever my mind needs clarity and focus.” ~ Mette

“Quiet time for reading every day.” ~ Sue

“Fresh flowers on my dining table and in the kitchen every week.” ~ Andrea

“One day a week totally on my own.” ~ Donna

“TikTok bed rotting days.” ~ Marie

“Sobriety.” ~ Elizabeth

“Bubble baths and sitting with trees.” ~ Annie

“My monthly facial and massage.” ~ Joan

“A moment for meditation or mindful breathing. Even if it’s just a few minutes every day.” ~ Kayitah

“Regular counseling.” ~ Adrianne

One of my favorite comments (and part of the reason why this topic is so worth talking about) came from a reader, Luna, who wrote:

“Reading this thread is soul balm and I would not describe that as a typical FB experience. Thank you.”

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