Date a Girl Who Takes Baths.

Via Sarah Brose
on Mar 11, 2013
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Bath

Another girl you should date.

In response to: “The Girl You Should Be Dating.”

Date a girl who takes baths.

Date a girl who spends money on Epsom salts instead of clothes. She has a problem with closet space, in particular with that spot under the bathroom sink because of all the soaps and essential oils. Date a girl who makes castles float on water, who can make it hotter or colder with just one toe, who knows that small yellow ducks do more than float, they listen.

Find a girl who takes baths. You’ll know she does because she’ll always leave the party early. She’s the one in the corner holding a hot toddy, not because she likes the taste, but because she likes to stick her pointer in and listen. She’s the one swirling it till seven o’clock rolls around and she can do up her cardigan and leave. She’s the girl who politely declines and goes home, who sleeps with a hot water bottle because she’d rather be warm and alone, than cold and with somebody.

She’s the girl in the second-hand shop down the street.

You’ll notice her because she’ll look like she’s from another era. Who wears scarves and gloves and things. Who peels off her clothing, slowly, so she can imagine the stories of the sweaters before her. A girl who understands that the pleasure is in getting undressed, not dressed. Date a girl who’s not afraid to disappear completely. When you’ve wondered where she’s gone, look down by your feet. You’ll find her used clothing like snakes on the cold tile floor.

Date a girl who’s not afraid to make a beard and wear one. When you meet her, she’ll notice yours. The time and care you took in growing, the tiny bits of red, or grey. The bald patch on your cheek or the way it swirls under your chin will inspire her to have fun with foamy shapes later. But when she goes home and gathers all the bubbles on her chest into two pointy white mountain tops and looks up at you with puppy-dog eyes, pop every one and tell her they’re perfect just the way there are.

When she feels morose she thinks how Sexton and Plath both died in the bath. Well not really, but she likes to imagine that they did. Comfort her when she’s sad: your warmth will make her feel strong and fragile—yet safe.

It’s easy to date a girl who takes baths.

Buy her a loofah or pumice stone. If you’re confused about what either of these things are, pick up any old rock and give it to her. Tell her you bought it around the corner at her favorite health food store.

Watch her. Upon first glance, it may appear as though she’s staring at the blank tiling in front of her, but really she’s imagining she’s Lady Ophelia, drifting down the river with flowers in her hair. Either that, or she’s counting the hairs she missed while shaving her toes.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not?

Girls who take baths understand that people, like fruity-scented bath bombs, take shape, expand.

If you find a girl who takes baths, keep her close.

When you find her up at 2 a.m. standing ankle-deep in water cold and weeping because she made it too hot, turn the faucet to the left and hold her. While you’re waiting for it to cool down, put on Joni and hold her, tighter. Look into her bloodshot eyes and tell her to keep on crying, that she was going to add salt to the water anyway. You may lose her for a couple hours but she will always come back to you. And when she climbs into bed with her fingers all wrinkly, kiss every one and tell her you’ll love her even when her whole body is like that too, one day.

When you propose, do it from the bathroom toilet.

Put the lid down first. She’ll say yes by smiling and sliding over. You’ll both squat, knees jutting up and touching. One person’s back will jam against the faucet. The water will be cold because you spent a lot of time preparing.

You will see her with her face of bubbles and wonder how you’ve fallen so hard for a lady with a beard. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will teach your children the difference between what is half-empty and what is half-full, that patience is a virtue, that if it doesn’t work out the first time, you can drain it all and start again.

Because a girl who takes baths knows that things don’t stay hot forever. That life is meant to have a burn or two.

 

Relephant:

10 Characteristics of a Quality Guy.

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Ed: Kate Bartolotta

Photo: Flickr

 


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About Sarah Brose

Sarah Brose is a Yoga Teacher and Theatre artist who is interested in exploring the links between Yoga and Art. She believes Yoga and Mindfulness create the space and stillness required to cultivate the greatest amounts of strength, softness, courage and compassion. It is within this space that we come up with the most creative solutions to all of life’s problems. She enjoys writing and sharing words from this place. You can read more here.

Comments

53 Responses to “Date a Girl Who Takes Baths.”

  1. Morgan says:

    I could write a piece on why you should date a girl with cats. You can even ask my husband. It takes alot of compromise and patients to own cats and you find that you learn alot from cats that change a person’s way of thinking. And the author did actually credit the writer whom she copied their style. I think every girl should write something like this. What is your favorite part of you everyday simple life? And what about that has influenced you’re personality and why do you think you should date a girl who…. Takes baths or cats?

  2. Russell Eberts says:

    I hope you don’t mind me doing this, but I went ahead and did one from a guy’s perspective. I can’t take credit for it, because it’s so heavily inspired (and sometimes borrowed when I couldn’t think of another way to convey one of your ideas) by your article. Anyway, to be posted only on here:

    Date a guy who takes baths.

    Date a guy who spends money on Epsom salts instead of clothes. He may not be as well dressed, but you’ll know he takes care of himself. Date a guy who knows how to relax, who can change the water temperature with one foot, who knows that a rubber duck only has as much personality as you give to it.
    Find a guy who takes baths. You’ll know he does because he gets to the party a little late and leaves a littler early. He’s the one in the corner holding the same beer for hours, not because he likes the taste, but because he’d rather not have people ask him why he’s not drinking. He’s the one nursing it ‘til 10 o’clock rolls around and he can throw his sweaters on and leave. He’s the guy who isn’t looking for anyone to take home, he’s happy being alone, whether he’s by himself or surrounded by other people.
    He’s the guy sitting to the side, listening.
    You’ll notice him because he looks like he belongs, wherever he goes. He likes his sweaters, and his jackets, but he keeps it simple. He knows it’s what’s underneath the clothes that matter, not the clothes themselves. Date a guy who isn’t afraid to disappear completely. When you wonder where he’s gone, look around you. You’ll find his sweaters draped like Dali clocks on the furniture.
    Date a guy who knows who he is and is willing to be that person. When you meet him, he’ll notice that in you, as well. He’ll see the care you’ve taken cultivating yourself, he’ll see the calm, the completeness, the surety. When he goes home and makes a beard out of the bath bubbles, and looks up at you with questioning eyes, pop every bubble and tell him he’s perfect the way he is.
    When he’s feeling whimsical, he’ll think about how Winston Churchill took three baths a day. He’ll imagine addressing the members of parliament while stretched out in a tub, whisky in hand. Comfort him when he’s sad: your kindness will make him feel strong and needed, and secure.
    It’s easy to date a guy who takes baths.
    Buy him some essential oils or some nice soap. If you’re confused about which one to get, just go to your local health food store and buy whatever they have, and then tell him that it’s your favorite.
    Watch him. Upon first glance, it may appear as though he’s staring blankly at the tiles in front of him, but he’s really imagining he’s Huck Finn, floating down the river, seeking another adventure. Either that, or he’s counting the number of hairs he has on his toes.
    Why be frightened of everything that you are not?
    Guys who take baths understand that people, like bubbles, take shape, expand.
    If you find a guy who takes baths, keep him close.
    When you find him up at 2 a.m. standing ankle-deep in water, shivering, angry because he made it too hot, turn the faucet to the left and give him a hug. While you’re waiting for it to cool down, put on some Van Morrison and hug him, closer. Look into his eyes and tell him to just let it all out, that it’s better not to keep it pent up inside. You may lose him for a few hours but he’ll always come back to you. And when he climbs into bed with his hands all wrinkly, give him a kiss and tell him you’ll love him even when his whole body his like that, someday.
    When you tell him you love him, do it from the toilet.
    Put the lid down first. He’ll say he loves you by smiling and sliding over. You’ll both sit there, knees together, legs akimbo. One person’s back will be pressed against the faucet. The water will be cold because the time has passed so quickly.
    You will see him with his face covered in bubbles and wonder how you’ve fallen so hard for a man who grows bubble beards. You will write the stories of each other’s lives, have kids with uncommon names and stranger tastes. He will teach your kids the difference between what’s half-full and what’s half-empty, that patience is a great virtue, that if it doesn’t come out right the first time, you can pull the drain and start all over again.
    Because a guy who takes baths knows that things don’t stay hot forever. That even when the water gets cold, the love doesn’t have to.

  3. Steve Crabtree says:

    I think many of you are missing the point – it’s not really about ‘baths’ or ‘cats’ or any of that. It’s symbolism, in a sexy way. It is simply saying “not all girls / women are the same – find one different, find one that has her own quirky likes and dislikes.” The bath is actually LIFE and how she goes about moving within it. Her ways may be strange, or unusual, but she may like baths, or Sinatra music, or just being held. That is what is being said here. She’s not the model, she’s not your old flame, she is true to herself – and YOU need to recognize and adapt to her ways – WHY? Because, the Author is telling you “It will be worth it for you to ’embrace her’. And, her different ways. She is unique, she can change you into a better person, she may need the comfort or the need to feel safe and loved. That’s where YOU, the reader, should understand that a ‘bath’ is only a possible like for her. It’s about how we are all different and our needs are not all the same – there is truth in this – LOVE is being with someone warm, or if not? A hot water bottle and alone in bed is better. And, she may enjoy a hot bath – or she may not. Understand, this really isn’t about a girl /woman who likes baths – it’s about how you treat her. Her needs are all wrapped up in a ‘bath’ – a metaphor for finding security and love. And THAT, readers, is what this is about. Read it again, except this time, not so literal. Use your imagination and try and feel the words of the Author, not speaking directly about a unique woman – or maybe it’s about ALL women? Point is: Read between the lines. It’s about comfort, needs, and love. And, if you missed that? Then, you probably don’t like to date women who like to take baths. Stick to your shower and wonder why you haven’t found a girl who likes to take baths. IF you DID understand this? She is waiting for you . . .

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