October 29, 2011

Stuck is not a location, it is a state of mind.


Gliding gently through change

Change, or rather the notion of change, or even more so the fear of change seems to be the latest global occupational hazard facing all of humanity these days.

The speed and velocity at which we’re being demanded to adjust, shape-shift and surrender boggles even the most adaptive minds.

Intellectually we know that the essence of life is change yet, for the vast majority of us, particularly in Western societies, nothing in our conditioning prepares us for its inevitability.

The mere whisper of it propels us into paralysis.

How many of us are stuck in situations that deviate from our ideal of how things should be?

My lifestyle and my work for the past two decades have allowed me to re-invent my life about every two to three years. While to those looking on this appears attractive, I can comfortably beg to differ even with the invaluable experiences and lessons learned along the way.

My personal life for example has had to pay a dear price for each time that I uproot and move to yet another location. Recently for example, I almost missed out on the opportunity to meet a wonderful like-minded soul simply because when another kindred spirit introduced us and encouraged me to keep her company, my exhausted defiance reacted, “I can’t be bothered.”

Thankfully my soon to be departing friend did not take my resistance personally and I am grateful as indeed, I’ve met another incredible being traveling a similar path.

One of the elements that I am thoroughly enjoying as I meander through this non-linear time of increased consciousness is how miraculously we meet precisely the persons that we need to meet in our lives at just the moment he or she appears. Simultaneously, those with whom we can no longer relate simply drift away.

Stuck is the ultimate result of what happens when we refuse surrender to what[ever] is.

A few years ago, I realized that it wasn’t my location that had me feeling stuck. Rather it was my state of mind. Stuck is not a location. It is a crippling illusion that we buy into, that leaves us feeling frustrated, helpless and disempowered.

Upon closer examination and inward reflection, I discovered that the only place I where was stuck was in my mind. Our past histories greatly contribute to this.

Throughout this period through which we are now transitioning, one is invited us to closely look at where in our lives we are feeling stuck and to un-hinge ourselves from unhealthy attachments, particularly to the supposed voice of practicality and reason.

As I read somewhere recently, transformation is a process, not some single, isolated event. Rather, it is a series of changing events and circumstances, some deliberate and others inevitable.

Here’s how I’m navigating through my seas of change:

Firstly, I am breathing very deeply.  This helps to calm my mind, focus and think more clearly.

Next, I do my utmost to nurture my mind, body and spirit with uplifting sustenance.

Thirdly, I am embracing the myriad of uncertainty flowing through my life gracefully. I accept the highs and the lows and ride the waves accordingly through awareness. Keeping in mind that whatever I am feeling right now is transient and temporary, rather than try to rush through the feelings, especially those squeamish, uncomfortable ones, I am learning how to stay with them, like a caring watchful mother and inquire, “situation, what are you here to teach me?”

And on those days when I’m feeling on top of the world, I acknowledge and celebrate them as gifts that teach me about the joy of gratitude.

Then there are those other days when I don’t even know how I’m feeling and my only option is to be mindful and pay attention for these [days] are like crown jewels waiting to be discovered and explored.  Repeated experience has taught me that eventually whatever I am suppressing will, like cream, rise to the top.

Having spent the past several weeks oscillating over a major life altering decision – or at least so it certainly feels right now – by yesterday, I realized that I simply had to make my feelings known.

This courageous act was received far better than I could ever have imagined, thus creating a sense of freedom, excitement, appreciation and release within.

Change is life and life is change.  Just be with it.

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