Tweeting Under the Influence.

Via Kate Bartolotta
on Dec 23, 2011
get elephant's newsletter


Some things don’t mix well with social media.







Alcohol is one of them. Any Saturday or Sunday morning, take a peek at some of the late night tweets and status updates from your friends that were out drinking. It’s not pretty, but always good for a laugh. Some folks need to look into a breathalyzer app (or maybe just drink less.)

Anger is also a poor match for social media. I was angry last night. Totally pissed off. One way I address anger is a long run with some loud music until I get a little clarity. Or until I just can’t run anymore, and I fall down on the trail, lay there for a minute staring up at light through the leaves and forgetting to be angry.  It was 10 pm and raining, so running was out.

I shoved some frustration into my Tweetdeck. And deleted it without hitting “send.” And then I did it again. And deleted it again. Nothing too awful. Something midway between “Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr” and a Gordon Ramseyesque, F-bomb laden tirade. I ended up tweeting some passive-aggressive grumpiness (and later deleted that too.)

I don’t like to spew that stuff onto Facebook and Twitter. I don’t mind people knowing I get angry. Anger is part of life. But do I want to take negativity and dump it out on anyone who happens to be reading my twitter feed? I wouldn’t take my trash can around to all my friends’ houses and leave a little bit on each of their doorsteps, so why do it online? It’s great to hash things out with a friend who both listens and reflects back to you honestly. But random negativity and senseless tweets of anger? Not helpful to anyone.

So what then? Should we all agree to make Myspace the anger dumping ground? No one’s using that anymore, right? There needs to be a place to go when you just need to take a few minutes and deal with your anger without paying it forward and spreading it around.

Oh wait…there is:







Instead of tweeting when you’re angry, how about Tonglen?

So I closed up my laptop. Closed down my tantrum. Took my time. Let go of all my defenses, my offenses. Let myself just be breath for awhile.  It didn’t really matter anymore if I was right or if I’d been wronged. Instead of taking my anger and sending it out across the wires to whoever might catch it, sending and taking, and sending and taking.


About Kate Bartolotta

Kate Bartolotta is a wellness cheerleader, yogini storyteller, and self-care maven. She also writes for Huffington Post, Yoga International, Mantra Yoga+ Health, a beauty full mind, The Good Men Project, The Green Divas, The Body Project, Project Eve, Thought Catalog and Soulseeds. Kate's books are now available on and Barnes & She is passionate about helping people fall in love with their lives. You can connect with Kate on Facebook and Instagram.


5 Responses to “Tweeting Under the Influence.”

  1. Thea says:

    Here, I sit responding at 12:42am on the eve of Christmas Eve coughing and hacking from a winter cold and this topic drew me. I couldn't agree more with you regarding not drinking and tweeting (sounds better than Social Media-ing). I agree as well with positive ways to help rid your body and mind of negative emotions. We can not control our emotions, but we can control our response to them and our actions. I do believe that honoring our emotion is important. Acknowledging the anger or other emotion one might consider negative to actually release it and let go. Acknowledging and actually experiencing emotion but not dwell. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Thanks Thea! I agree all around. Feel better!!

  3. As long as it is honest, I think you do better sharing the full range of emotion on Facebook and Twitter. We always have to keep in mind that what goes out, even if for 2 or 3 seconds may be forever public…that shouldn't prevent us from living publicly!

  4. […] I do spend a lot of time on Facebook and Twitter. Since my goal there is generally to network and find ways to be of benefit to others, I’m not […]

  5. I liked this, thanks Kate; I think the key in things like this is that whatever practice we subscribe to, it's purpose is to produce mindful responses as the premium choice, not sense-propelled or emotion-fuelled….that the spiritual practices we subscribe to unearth our deeper, truer, softer natures, unhindered by conditioned response and behavioral patterns….

    Ta love 🙂 xo