April 24, 2012

Do You Have the Courage to Really Love?

Photo: DirkVE

Got five minutes?

Let’s talk about the courage to love.

First, listen to your heart, not your head. It will tell you the truth about yourself, your life and others.

Courage (strength of heart) is a quality that tops my list of importance in life.

I do what I am scared sh**less of and don’t deny the fear.

You have courage.

What is not courage?

Your excuses or stories that keep you in inertia (a false peace or contentment—it’s numbness), denial of your heart; the emotional compartments meant to sell yourself and others your story.

Pain is a story. It keeps us victims in our own lives. It keeps us repeating patterns of pain without our seeming awareness.

We remain in a story even when we take all the responsibility. It is the same thing.

You lose when you don’t have courage and let go of someone or something meaningful in your life.

Living this way will never bring you happiness.

Courageous actions are real, not manipulative or punishing. The key is to recognize courage in yourself to bring it in your relationship.

Can you settle for cowardice in a mate? Courage is the quality of truth directly related to allowing and sustaining love in a partnership.

It is the real indicator that someone is really really in your corner.

Maybe you had courage at one point, but too many experiences hurt, disappointed or left you abandoned.

You closed up shop and called it a day.

Many people stay stuck in this place. It seems like they have it all together—maybe you’re the crazy one?

At some point in their lives, too many things happened to hurt them. They recovered by building numbing walls, and telling themselves they are self-aware and smarter than the rest. They got the system beat!

Some will stay locked in their prison, telling others what is wrong with them.

They may come off as open and easy, until you get too close or the prospect of their getting hurt or overwhelmed by opening their heart is too much for them to handle.

Once in a while their facade cracks and truth slips from their heart, oops that feels good…. oops, I remember feeling like this before, now it’s time to panic!

They backtrack, distance and can make another person feel kookoo!

They come off coldly intellectual.

They act weird.

What they said yesterday, no longer holds water.

The love they professed when their heart broke through for an instant, now replaced by a cold demeanor.

It is crazy making…and hard to let go of, because your heart knows.

Photo: Wikimedia

The heart loves, but there’s a damn wall!

Don’t stop loving and build more walls; keep love alive.

Don’t beat it down.

Turn the love to yourself; be kind.

Don’t continue investing in pain. Love them, don’t purposely stop, and allow it to change or shift…don’t create a battle zone inside.

Courage doesn’t mean you have to cut people loose, walk away or be a jerk.

Instead, allow the relationship to dissipate on its own.


Take your focus off the person and put it on yourself.

Over and over if you must.

You’ll feel more peace and less suffering. It takes a bit of reminding yourself, but the more you do it and stop blaming others for what they do or don’t do—the more you’ll experience well-being.

Try not to take heed of words, from well-meaning people saying to move on, find someone else, tell someone off or be strong. It’s like going into major surgery and amputating your leg. It’s cutting off a part of you when you act to appear strong to others, but it’s really another battle with the heart and mind.

The evolution of the heart expands and you bring in other like-hearted people.

I guarantee somewhere, somehow someone will come into your life and match you there. You’ll never be alone when you embrace love.

I know how difficult the transition is from believing my heart would screw me or lie.

I thought I was strong!

I avoided anything, from a terse email to running from a committed relationship, even with myself; it all caused me to crumble into a pile of rubble.

At the time I told myself I was so self aware on my spiritual path! Oh ho, ho, ho! I was such a joker!

I remember the day my heart opened up with a universal baseball bat!

You see, I had been wishing for true happiness, peace and love.

If you wish and pray long enough, it happens.

The universe ain’t big on stagnation, so when you wish, make sure you are actively moving in that direction or be ready for the pain.

Be prepared to let go of familiar walls, your fortress of a perfect facade and feel courage and love.

Even days I couldn’t get out of bed or writhed in pain on my floor, I knew if I went through it, the impossible would become possible in my life.

The numbness of walls separates, clinging to weakness of an untrue story of love.

It means being alone; indulging in activities meant to self-medicate, including “supposed healthy” pursuits. Anytime you feel cut off, there’s a wall involved.

Have the courage to sit with your feelings, see below the numbness and you’ll find pain. Maybe, you have had it so long, you figure it’s your natural state of being.

Photo: thriol

It’s not.

Once you stop the battle within, life gets easier. You find the “wonder, hopes and dreams” you lost touch with years ago. Now your heart leads to possibility.

Be courageous, through love comes resilience; you will be stronger to withstand most anything; you will be surprised. 

Walls ain’t got nothing on wholeness!

If you want to know your greatest love, your greatest happiness and feel whole, resilient and able to touch the stars with your dreams…take the first step toward courage…then you will have it all.

Relephant bonus:


Editor: Brianna Bemel

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