5.5

Fifty Shades of F*cked-Up. ~ Trista Hendren

Photo credit: Ira Gelb

I will admit that E L James is a clever businesswoman, but while reading Fifty Shades of Grey, I had to wonder if she was somehow compensated by the Republican National Convention.

Anastasia Steele is everything a good conservative looks for in a woman; most importantly submissive and virginal.

Let me start by saying, I am extremely liberal.

Whatever floats your boat sexually is fine. I believe we as women should celebrate our sexuality however we f*cking want to.

However, there was nothing celebratory about the sex in Fifty Shades of Grey.

The outright abuse in this trilogy is disturbing, especially considering how well it is selling.

Christian Grey is everything I never want for my daughter.

Yet, he is all the things women are taught to look for, even at the expense of maintaining a dysfunctional relationship.

Wealthy and good-looking seem to overpower sadistic, controlling and abusive.

He begins by scolding and ordering for his “submissive.” As with most abusers, he starts small and works his way up. He stalks her and won’t let his “submissive” touch him. He leads her into numerous crying fits.

Does this sound like a relationship you want to be in?

I won’t go on and on because there are many good articles already published on elephant journal, including:

Power, Sex & Fairy Tales: Decoding the Popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey. ~Kate Bartolotta

Why Twihards Shouldn’t Be Reading Fifty Shades. ~Cassandra Smith

10 Reasons Why Fifty Shades of Grey should never Tie any Self-Respecting Woman Down. ~Waylon Lewis

50 Shades of Bullsh*t: Misogynistic Subtext & Poor Prose? ~Chrispy (Bhagat Singh)

However, before you plop down $30 for the trilogy, let me give you some quotes so you can decide for yourself if this is really something you want to absorb into your being.

Stalker, my subconscious whispers at me through the cloud of tequila that’s still floating in my brain, but somehow, because it’s him, I don’t mind.” (62)

Desire. This is desire. This is what it feels like.” (68)

“I think I’m in shock. My subconscious has emigrated or been struck dumb or simply keeled over and expired. I am numb. I can observe and absorb but not articulate my feelings about all this, because I’m in shock….Fear…yes…that seems to be the overriding feeling. I recognize it now. But weirdly not of him—I don’t think he’d hurt me, well, not without my consent.” (99)

“…so you’ll let me exert my will over you. I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy, even, in your submission. The more you submit, the greater my joy—it’s a very simple equation.” (101)

“This is not a man I want to cross…ever.” (139)

“This is what it will be like if I sign, him ordering me around. I frown. Do I want this? Reaching for my knife and fork, I tentatively cut into the venison. It’s very tasty.” (155)

“The Dominant reserves the right to dismiss the Submissive from his service at any time and for any reason. The Submissive may request hr release at any time, such request to be granted at the discretion of the Dominant…” (167)

“The Dominant may use the Submissive’s body at any time during the Allotted Times or any agreed additional times in any manner he deems fit, sexually or otherwise.” (168)

“Following my more thorough examination of your issues, may I bring to your attention the definition of submissive. Submissive [suhb-mis-iv]—adjective. Origin: 1580-90; submiss+ -ive. Synonyms: 1 tractable, compliant, amenable. 2 passive, resigned, patient, docile, tame, subdued. “(208)

“Oh, how demeaning is this? Demeaning and scary and hot. He’s making such a meal of this. My heart is in my mouth. I can barely breathe. Sh*t, is this going to hurt?” (274)

“I will spank you each time you do it, do you understand?”…he hits me—hard. Ow! My eyes spring open in response to the pain and I try to rise, but his hand moves between my shoulder blades, keeping me down. He caresses me again where he’s hit me, and his breathing’s changed—it’s louder, harsher. He hits me again and again, quickly in succession. Holy f*ck it hurts. I try to make no sound, my face screwed up against the pain. I try to wriggle away from the blows—spurred on by adrenaline spiking and coursing through my body.” (274)

“Is he worthy of me? That’s an interesting concept. I always wonder whether I am worthy of him.” (279)

“…if you were mine, you wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week after the stunt you pulled yesterday. He said it then and all I could concentrate on at the time was being his. All the warning signs were there. I was just too clueless and too enamored to notice.” (280)

“I want him to stay because he wants to stay with me, not because I’m a blubbering mess, and I don’t want him to beat me, is that so unreasonable?” (286)

“I like the control it gives me, Anastasia. I want you to behave in a particular way, and if you don’t, I shall punish you, and you will learn to behave the way I desire. I enjoy punishing you…I need to control you.” (287)

“I oblige immediately, feeling like I’m exiting my body.” (322)

“I don’t want to lose him. In spite of all his demands, his need to control, his scary vices, I have never felt as alive as I do now. It’s a thrill to be sitting here beside him. He’s so unpredictable, sexy, smart, and funny. But his moods…oh—and he wants to hurt me.” (355)

“…I allow myself to fantasize that he loves me…I’m careful not to touch his chest but just snuggle in his arms…” (356)

“This is so…I want to think wrong, but somehow it’s not. It’s right for Christian. It’s what he wants—and after the last few days…after all he’s done, I have to man up and take whatever he decides he wants, whatever he thinks he needs.” (484)

“Don’t start with your smart mouth in here, Miss Steele. Or I will f*ck it with you on your knees. Do you understand?” (486)

“I close myself, bracing myself for the blow. It comes hard, snapping across my backside, and the bite of the belt is everything I fear…His breathing is ragged and harsh, whereas mine is almost nonexistent as I desperately scrabble around my psyche looking for some internal strength. The belt cuts into my flesh again…ow the tears are streaming down my face. I don’t want to cry. It angers me that I am crying. He hits me again….as the blistering pain cuts across me again, and I hear him drop the belt behind me, and he’s pulling me into his arms, all breathless and compassionate….” (506)

Fifty Shades of Grey ends with the word grief.

Grief is right.

If you let a man purchase your very soul, grief is exactly what you will get.

I don’t care how much money someone has, this is not worth it. The dream of having a man take care of us will end in our destruction. These “sexy” stories may be tantalizing, but they don’t fit anywhere into a healthy sexuality.

And, if you believe in The Law of Attraction, you know that what you give your attention to is what manifests itself in your life. Multiply that by the millions of women (and men) who are reading the trilogy and we have quite a problem on our hands.

Don’t support abuse.

Don’t propagate the victimization of young women with your money.

Send your $30 to a women’s shelter.

If Fifty Shades continues to sell this well, they will soon need the money—desperately.

 

Editor: Jamie Morgan

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Claudia Aug 20, 2015 11:35pm

I'm not a feminist but I gotta go with them on this one lol

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Trista Hendren

Trista Hendren is the author of The Girl God. The second book in this series, Mother Earth, will be published in December. You can read more about her project with Elisabeth Slettnes at www.thegirlgod.com.