I Only Bully Bullies.

Via Tracy Wisneski
on Jul 28, 2012
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In almost any situation when people want to judge or be harsh with others, I am instinctively protective.

I was born with an odd and compulsive desire to see things from others’ perspectives. It gets damn awkward constantly clunking around in someone else’s shoes, but it makes us more fair and enlightened. It helps us to find common ground, which like it or not, is the only ground we can truly stand on.

So, all of those times on the playground, in the locker room, at the dance studio when people would trash talk or tease or exclude, I never cared to participate. In fact, there have been many times when my refusal to participate has made people feel irritated and uncomfortable with my choice. Apparently, having some drip remind you that your behavior is petty (even if only by not participating) puts a damper on the fun derived from belittling others.

I will conjure any number of excuses for perfect strangers…until they directly bully someone else.

At that point, my sisterly love flies out the window and I frankly want to flay someone alive. All I want to do is attack—with words, social coercion, even fists. In the heat of my knee-jerk reaction, it feels like nothing is off-limits.

Few things make me as angry as others’ beliefs that they have the right to infringe on someone else’s rights. How dare anyone pretend that civil rights are an opinion. Even writing it makes my blood boil. It is reprehensible!

The fact that our government has a federal law that infringes on the right of gays to marry is positively shameful!

Not only is it ethically and ideologically wrong, but it is also in direct contradiction to The 14th Amendment. (And, frankly, if it isn’t, then it damn well should be!)

For me personally, every single time I hear about or read about people fighting to infringe on civil rights, I picture the “Christian” PTA mothers who spit and curse at those children as they entered Little Rock High School.

So, when I read Mayor Menino’s big old, “Suck on this!” I couldn’t help but rally and cheer! I posted it and applauded it and I can’t say that I’m sorry for it, because it would be a lie.


That said, I’ve since simmered down and I must concede that he has no grounds for denying Chick-fil-A’s permit if they have not directly infringed on anyone’s rights. There, I said it. I admit it and this crow tastes like sh*t, but it is what it is.

I really wish that he would have written that same letter, but rather than deny a permit, pledged the support of constituents to boycott his restaurant. Unfortunately, that’s not how it went down. But I think the knee-jerk reaction that many of us had is merely our defense against the bullies, who up until this point, are still winning. That does need to be changed, just not this way.

So while I eat this crow (which doesn’t even taste good with lots of salt) I still want to make an important point:

Civil rights are not a matter of opinion. There are only two sides to civil rights: right and wrong.

You don’t like gay marriage, don’t have one! I certainly don’t like the idea of crazy, judgmental bullies marrying and reproducing, but you don’t see me out there blocking them from getting married.


Editor: Brianna Bemel


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About Tracy Wisneski

Tracy Wisneski is a woman, a mother, a wife, a friend and a teacher. Though she’s worked most of her life, she still doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up. She loves too deeply for her own good, but wouldn’t have it any other way. You can reach Tracy via email: [email protected]


11 Responses to “I Only Bully Bullies.”

  1. Norka Garcia says:

    I am so proud of you Tracy. Popping my buttons! You have the gift of words and have eloquently made your point. I certainly hope Chick-Fil-A feels the impact of their "opinion" in their wallet. The gallup poll estimated the 25% of America's population is gay. That is not counting all those still in the closet. Watch out America! Coming soon to a family near you! http://www.gallup.com/poll/147824/adults-estimate
    Thank you for taking the time to stand up for human rights!

  2. Mamaste says:

    Just intro'd on FB to: Enlightened.

  3. Mark Ledbetter says:

    Hey, Norka, nice. You have eloquently made the point yourself. Just one thing. Much as I hate to get picky, 25% seems awfully high.. I mean, there's nothing wrong with 25%, it just doesn't seem right. So I checked the link. Actually, this is not a poll of the actual percentage of gay people. It's a poll of people's opinions. Gallup asked people, "What percentage of the population do you think is gay?" A whole lot of people (and I suspect, a lot of people without a firm grasp of mathmatics) estimated 25% or more.

  4. __MikeG__ says:


    And even if Gallup did a poll asking if people identified themselves as gay or not, the results would be meaningless. Especially if they polled people like me. I might make up stuff just to screw with the people at Gallup.

  5. Laura says:

    You're absolutely right, as much as it hurts to admit it. Well written.

  6. Maria Birch says:

    After carefully reading the mayor's letter, I don't see anything in there that says a permit is denied. I am unaware of any city that allows it's mayor to issue permits for whom can or cannot do business in the city. The permitting process is usually done by a zoning board or some such entity. So, no, the mayor denied them nothing. He encouraged them to back out of their plans to relocate to Boston.

  7. __MikeG__ says:

    Not in the letter but the mayor stated that he would deny the permit in the media. But that may just be grandstanding because there are no grounds to deny the permit. Being a hateful bigot is not grounds.

  8. […] in my opinion, denying any two consenting adults the rights that marriage provides for under law is an act of discrimination. Doing so by law is […]

  9. Kathleen says:

    I'm so proud of you Mom!

  10. Tracy says:

    Not half as proud as I am of you!