August 20, 2012

How to End Relationship Addictions. ~ David G Arenson, N.D.

Relationships are addictive.

We need people. We are desperate for connection, for the web of reciprocity relationships provide, for the thrill of meeting a new person. We will do anything to hold onto a fragile relationship, and risk everything to find a partner.

We have all sorts of addictions to friends and family members. We even have addictions to professionals, practitioners, therapists, dentists, hairdressers, doctors, accountants and financial planners. Some hold magnetic sway over our decisions. Some can nullify our own thoughts and feelings with their pronouncements. This also works on a grander scale via the hypnotic media and entertainment industries.

 Why is this?

The reason is really simple. As human beings, we are programmed to connect with other people. This was essential for our survival in tribes. Being left alone could literally mean your death back in the stone age. Our genes are hardwired to keep us safe in the jungle, and safety in numbers is stamped on our primitive minds.

It makes perfect sense why a person would rather stay in an abusive relationship than risk being alone. Even the pain of violence cannot compare to the pain of loneliness or isolation.The need for connection is so strong that it will override all logic.

I grew up in South Africa, where women are raped more than anywhere else in the world. I met women who would go home to rapists, and didn’t see a choice for themselves out of these situations. Some accepted this as part of life. They were willing to accept violent abuse in return to the safety of a relationship or the tribe.

I am not sure what choices they did have without adequate support (no judgment here). Being stuck in fear is one sure way to snuff out the fire of creativity. Some did make very different choices for themselves and their families and were able to escape the situation.

How many of us are not addicted to some sort of relationship involving control or abuse?

I am a man on a mission: to show people the connection between spiritual intelligence, and how to live an enlightened life. I believe everyone has the spiritual DNA in them to enable them to shine. All it takes is an elevated awareness, new insights and, of course, some new actions and habits. Support is the final arbiter of success. We need support preferably without attached addiction. (Yet even our supporters are often the most addictive.)

We can dissolve addictions via our mental technology. Focused awareness is very powerful. The following meditation is designed to energetically remove unwanted addictions and addictive behavior from your relationships. By regular practice, the results will benefit you tremendously.

 Meditation for protection and ending relationship addictions:

Just take a moment now to close your eyes.

Bring the fullness of attention to your entire body.

Feel every part of you as an entirety, as an energy system, as a space. Acknowledge that there is only one you. Your essence is one whole being-ness that fills the entire space of your body from your feet to your legs, hips, groin, sexual organs, abdomen, chest, arms, shoulders, neck, head. Feel every part of you fill up with this joyful clear Divine golden essence.

Now I want you to be really present in your body, feel where you reside.

Bringing your attention now into the external world of relationships that exists energetically, extending outside of your body.

Be really clear on your intention. Whether it is to end a toxic relationship, strengthen an existing relationship, or draw up healthy boundaries in your relationships—hold the vibration of your intention. Maintain this intention until you can feel its emotional strength expand within your entire body from its core outwards.

Imagine that a cord connects you to every person in your life. Now, cut all the cords of attachment you have with toxic people. Clear away all your unhealthy attachments to people, imagining a white sword of light cleansing and removing all remaining unhealthy attachments.

Clearing the way to allow new healthy relationships into your space.

Thank you, for entering into this sacred space of healing.

Acknowledge to yourself the work you have done, and repeat to yourself, “I have cleansed myself of toxic relationships. I deserve all of Heaven’s gifts.” Thank you.

You are now ready to open your eyes feeling refreshed. If you wish to sleep, now is a good time to ease gently into a deep sleep, knowing that the work is being done for you behind the scenes.

Bless you.

David G Arenson N.D., Naturopath, Healer, Transformational Coach, and Explorer writes on expansive living, consciously growing our awareness and thriving on all levels of life. His journey has taken him to some unusual places. David believes we have a choice how we experience our lives. Guiding people in how to experience themselves on a deeper level, he has created Shambhala Therapy as a way people can be activated into the experience of sacred love. David is the founder of Shambhala Retreats—learn, transform, shine. You can email him at [email protected]. His web site is www.findshambhala.com.

Editor: Anne Clendening

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