Dear Yogi Muse: From the Men, Moobs, Tats & More.

Via Michelle Marchildon
on Sep 19, 2012
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Man Yoga


Dear Yogi Muse:

If my mat gets too sweaty during class it causes back farts. Will that reduce my chances of scoring with the girl next to me?

Don’t sweat the petty, pet the sweaty


Dear Sweaty:

If I am first to tell you that you are not supposed to be hitting on the other yogis in the class, then where on Earth have you been practicing? Don’t answer that!  In general, yogis do not hit on other yogis even in Happy Baby Pose. However, the Yogi Muse is not an idiot and I know exactly what is happening at all those building community types of events. Plus, I used to teach Anusara yoga. It seems like lots of people are getting lucky in their Lululemons, except me. I have never, not once, been hit on in yoga.  But, let me get back to you. Have you heard of a towel? That might be helpful in your practice.

Dear Yogi Muse,

My man boobs prevent a tight wrap of the arms in Garudasana Eagle Pose, plus they inhibit my breathing in Padahastasana. Can you recommend a modification?


Moobs in Mumbai

Dear Moobs,

You are preaching to the choir. I used to think for a long time that Mayurasana Peacock Pose was impossible for anyone with a D cup or greater gifts. Then I discovered that you put your arms below the girls, or in your case the little boys. In Eagle Pose, try going above the girls and slightly forward. In Padahastasana, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Certain poses require surrender, and that’s one of them.

Dear Yogi Muse,

I want to be a Lululemon Ambassador more than anything, but try as I might I can’t get an invite. What am I doing wrong? Am I too old?

Stud not a dud

Dear Stud,

Clearly you must be doing something wrong because as a dude, the only requirements I’m aware of for you to be an ambassador for Lululemon is that you have a pulse. If you check and find out this is not the case, don’t call me, call 911.

Dear Yogi Muse,

I am young and tattooed. Whenever I teach, the women beg me to take off my shirt. I don’t like to do this because I feel it interferes with their path to enlightenment. What should I do?

Wants to be Taken Seriously


I’m too sexy for my pose


Dear Wants to be Taken,

This is a tough one, because I think I am one of those women. Years ago Bikram Choudhury had a similar problem when women begged him to sleep with them or else they threatened to kill themselves. He decided he had no choice but to accommodate them. It was the path of Ahimsa, or non-violence. In your case, if a student seems to be in distress, by all means assist her and take off your shirt. After all, you are here to serve.

Michelle Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. If you have questions you would like her to consider, please contact her on Facebook and post your question.




Editor: Kate Bartolotta

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About Michelle Marchildon

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She’s an award-winning journalist, and the author of Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga. Her second book, Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga, is for yoga teachers who want to inspire their students. Michelle is a columnist for elephant journal and Origin Magazine and a contributor to Teachasana, My Yoga Online and Yoga Journal. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches in Denver, Co where she is busy raising two boys, two dogs and one husband. You can follow her on Facebook at Michelle Marchildon, The Yogi Muse. You can find her blog and website at And you can take her classes on


8 Responses to “Dear Yogi Muse: From the Men, Moobs, Tats & More.”

  1. brad says:

    Man yoga is just not man yoga without the sweaty back farts.

  2. nunh says:

    These were great – thanks!

  3. Lori Ann Lothian says:

    LOL…love it!

  4. Philip says:

    Dag – I must not have a pulse!

  5. […] Dear Yogi Muse: From the Men, Moobs, Tats & More. […]

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  7. Angel says:

    Haha, I didn't know that about Bikram. I guess he's just doing his best to help out.

  8. imaginarymelody says:

    Oh man. These are wonderful.