September 28, 2012

How do we learn to love….I mean really love?

Photo camerakarrie

A  journey with one condition, there are no conditions.

Love comes in many forms. Parental love, romantic love, platonic love, that all-encompassing first love.

Yet the master of all loves, if there was one, would have to be unconditional love, which I am not sure comes around that often.

Are you able to be that person in another’s life that is truly present? No judgements. No limitations. No expectancies. Forever patient. Forever giving. Forever listening.

Or are you busy being fooled by Cupid’s shadow, running around an entire lifetime trapped in the binds of something we are led to believe is love?

Photo AngelsWings

A web is spun under this guise that can snare us on the most subtle of levels. Always present yet somehow overlooked. Orchestrated by our dear selves and those closest.

All sorts of things come into play: cultural expectancies, personal experiences, age, gender. A mish-mash of influences that are perhaps no more than strings of sticky silk.

Believing that we are free yet dare we try to fly in the darkness of our ignorance the more we are entangled.

Until one day, a fatal bite causes instant paralysis and shock. Divorce, illness, separation, bankruptcy. The universe is showing us a mirror laced in the dusts of our own delusions.

As humans we naturally wait until we seemingly have no other choice but to go in search of reality. It is there we have the potential to find love of the unconditional kind. But do we really have to wait for that moment of calamity or can we start today?

Distance brings perspective. It makes things far less sticky. It may at first require a brave someone to reach in and pull us out to create that. And they may for now be a complete stranger

“Blood is thicker than water but spirit is thicker than blood.” ~ Unknown

Learning to love unconditionally can be a painful process. Those fine binds may take a bit of skin with them as we tear loose.

But a teacher who leads by example can be the power in that step. An unanticipated balm for those open sores.

For merely remembering how it felt to be loved with no conditions can easily turn into a source of strength. Memories of that “snug” place of self-spun delusion can also fire us on. As now we know better, now we want better.

Healthier relationships, people & lives are just underneath the dust on that mirror. It’s an uphill evolution that ends in flight. For a world carved out with unconditional love is one worth living in.

If you are not happy with the deck of cards that have been karmically dealt or have a sneaky suspicion you are staring into the face of an eight-eyed friend. Begin to create space for yourself, for to love others we must first love ourselves.

“Meditation is not a matter of withdrawing—you are not drawing in, retreating from the world. In fact you are getting into the world.” ~ Chogyam Trungpa

Invite in something or somebody new and let the process begin.

As you do you may find you can truly learn to love.



Editor: Kate Bartolotta

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