December 9, 2012

A Love Note to the “Hypersensitive,” “Too Nice,” & “Takers-of-It-Too-Personally.” ~ Randi Buckley

Photo: Hannah K.

We need you.

They say: You’re too sensitive. You take it too personally. You’re thin-skinned. You need to toughen up.

I hear: I have no idea how in touch with the world you are, nor can I grasp the depths of your empathy, from which I benefit. It’s like you can see colors that are naked to my eye.

You carry the awareness of others—of those far away, those unseen—in your heart on behalf of us all. You are the torchbearer of the forgotten. You bear the weight of others’ pain so they have a lifeline to the rest of humanity. You take on my share of pain when my words sting you. I can’t imagine the space you hold so that others can feel cared for and acknowledged, even when no one else can see that you’re doing this.

You bear witness so that we know, so we cannot forget. Your mere presence is equanimity. Your light is omnipresent. Your energy is generously given in service of your ability to intuit and sense even the most subtle change in weather, perspective, mind or heart.

You are a barometer for how we are doing as a species. You are a canary in the coal mine of our culture, and are wrecked by violent movies and the news of pain and mistreatment of fellow humans, animals and the earth.

I’m not aware that your sensitivity can cause you physical pain. If I knew the depths of your consideration, I’d be humbled and inspired. I don’t see or consider that you are a gift and should be treasured. I don’t know to pay attention. I don’t understand, even though I am the beneficiary of your grace.

I say: Thank you, friend. Rest and take care. We need you.

Relephant: A Survival Guide for Sensitive Types at Work.

Described as “equal parts Pema Chodron, Sofia Loren and Clint Eastwood (with a splash of George Carlin),” Randi Buckley takes women from tricky to truth, from icky to ease. She is a coach and guide for wisdom and truth when life gets sticky.

Visit her website at randibuckley.com or email her at [email protected].



Editor: Thandiwe Ogbonna

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Annie Dec 26, 2015 2:09pm

I’ve been told that I’m too sensitive. I get my feelings hurt easy. I just don’t get the joking around or being an ass for the fun of it. Lately, I’ve been observing this situation where a friend of ours perpetually humiliates her new husband, who is much like me. He is kind and sensitive, puts others first. I just want to ask him how it makes him feel. I see her humiliating him and everyone just laughs it off. It just pisses me off. We plan on spending more time together. I feel like I have to say something to the guy. I just want him to stand up for himself. He just takes it and sucks it up all the time. I’m afraid that he will hold it all in and eventually the weight of it all will cause him to lose it.

Niner Dec 14, 2015 8:36am

Can this apply to men? I feel as if anything revolving heartbreak, sensitivity, or weakness is applied to feminine energy. Yet, as strong as I wish to be I cannot ignore my powerful emotions.

Michelle Dec 24, 2014 6:15am

whenever I’m talking to someone about an emotional response I’ve had to something… When they’re maybe looking at me funny or making fun… I simply state, ” I feel things deeply.. And I’m ok with showing it. It’s my strength.”

I love the ability to be empathetic. Do I wish I were less emotional in certain settings? Sometimes, but I also recognize I’m passionate … And I’m ok with showing that too. Thanks for the article.

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