A Love Note to the “Hypersensitive,” “Too Nice,” & “Takers-of-It-Too-Personally.” ~ Randi Buckley

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Photo: Hannah K.

We need you.

They say: You’re too sensitive. You take it too personally. You’re thin-skinned. You need to toughen up.

I hear: I have no idea how in touch with the world you are, nor can I grasp the depths of your empathy, from which I benefit. It’s like you can see colors that are naked to my eye.

You carry the awareness of others—of those far away, those unseen—in your heart on behalf of us all. You are the torchbearer of the forgotten. You bear the weight of others’ pain so they have a lifeline to the rest of humanity. You take on my share of pain when my words sting you. I can’t imagine the space you hold so that others can feel cared for and acknowledged, even when no one else can see that you’re doing this.

You bear witness so that we know, so we cannot forget. Your mere presence is equanimity. Your light is omnipresent. Your energy is generously given in service of your ability to intuit and sense even the most subtle change in weather, perspective, mind or heart.

You are a barometer for how we are doing as a species. You are a canary in the coal mine of our culture, and are wrecked by violent movies and the news of pain and mistreatment of fellow humans, animals and the earth.

I’m not aware that your sensitivity can cause you physical pain. If I knew the depths of your consideration, I’d be humbled and inspired. I don’t see or consider that you are a gift and should be treasured. I don’t know to pay attention. I don’t understand, even though I am the beneficiary of your grace.

I say: Thank you, friend. Rest and take care. We need you.

Relephant: A Survival Guide for Sensitive Types at Work.

Described as “equal parts Pema Chodron, Sofia Loren and Clint Eastwood (with a splash of George Carlin),” Randi Buckley takes women from tricky to truth, from icky to ease. She is a coach and guide for wisdom and truth when life gets sticky.

Visit her website at randibuckley.com or email her at [email protected].



Editor: Thandiwe Ogbonna

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23 Responses to “A Love Note to the “Hypersensitive,” “Too Nice,” & “Takers-of-It-Too-Personally.” ~ Randi Buckley”

  1. Carrie says:

    Thank you! This is a gift.

  2. Marianne says:

    Love this. As someone who has been told 'You are too sensitive' all her life and knows that this is exactly what makes me good at what I do, I salute you Randi.

  3. Alia says:

    I thank you with all my heart.

  4. Vision_Quest2 says:

    "I say: Thank you, friend. Rest and take care. We need you."

    Now, if only these words of reassurance could help me with my chronic light sleeping and insomnia, living in conditions adverse to getting a good night's sleep (no, I don't live in a cheaply constructed college dorm–it could only play one on TV) …

  5. Ayoganut says:

    Namaste, thank you!

  6. palomino72 says:

    That was absolutely lovely <3

  7. Such a gift… to realize, our sensitivity as human beings is one of THE most precious gifts we have. And… what I have discovered, is that truly, all humans are sensitive. Even the big giants who may not look it at first glance. Some of us expose it more through our tears. Our exposed emotions. We are the lucky ones. Thank you for this Jewel, Randi Buckley! I know many I am going to pass this on to

  8. […] Did you know the people who are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? […]

  9. […] I have a thin skin, but I still don’t care what you think of […]

  10. Joyce says:

    As someone who is not only hypersensitive, but is in recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder, I wish that others could see this in us, instead of stigmatizing us.

  11. yveland says:

    thank you for this it's something those that "care too much" need to hear!

  12. Dee says:

    you're welcome and thanks for noticing lovely – great when that happens…..you are a sensitive person too to have written this beautiful piece & we are all sensitive people, some have just disconnected because the modern world teaches you that but it's not true 🙂

  13. sarahtheaquarian says:

    Yep, this is gorgeous!!! 🙂

  14. Sean says:

    You made me cry.

  15. beachelf says:

    Hugs, Sean. 🙂

    I am a sensitive Cancer, and my love is a fierce Leo. I try not to take his joking comments personally, but sometimes, ouch. What can I do to make him understand that just because he didn't MEAN to hurt my feelings, doesn't mean my feelings aren't valid and he should still apologize? I mean, if you accidentally step on someone's foot, even though it was not intentional, you still say you're sorry to show you care, right? Apology is not necessarily admission of fault or guilt. Sometimes it's just compassion. :-/

  16. Katie Hoverson says:

    I am touched by this where there are no words. Experiencing the gift of this with gratitude… thank you.

  17. Sue says:

    If this post strikes a chord with you may I recommend a book? I was told about it by a very perceptive person and it has really helped me. I re read it often just to remind myself that it is okay to feel the way I do. The Highly Sensitive Person (How to thrive when the world overwhelms you) by Elaine N Aron

  18. Monica says:

    I think some of us are just made to feel the pain of others,
    as are own………….I have been a pain carrier all of my life…and it huts bad and I am getting tired of the baggage….but, my soul doesn't know how to let go…………..

  19. Michelle says:

    whenever I’m talking to someone about an emotional response I’ve had to something… When they’re maybe looking at me funny or making fun… I simply state, ” I feel things deeply.. And I’m ok with showing it. It’s my strength.”

    I love the ability to be empathetic. Do I wish I were less emotional in certain settings? Sometimes, but I also recognize I’m passionate … And I’m ok with showing that too. Thanks for the article.

  20. Niner says:

    Can this apply to men? I feel as if anything revolving heartbreak, sensitivity, or weakness is applied to feminine energy. Yet, as strong as I wish to be I cannot ignore my powerful emotions.

  21. Annie says:

    I’ve been told that I’m too sensitive. I get my feelings hurt easy. I just don’t get the joking around or being an ass for the fun of it. Lately, I’ve been observing this situation where a friend of ours perpetually humiliates her new husband, who is much like me. He is kind and sensitive, puts others first. I just want to ask him how it makes him feel. I see her humiliating him and everyone just laughs it off. It just pisses me off. We plan on spending more time together. I feel like I have to say something to the guy. I just want him to stand up for himself. He just takes it and sucks it up all the time. I’m afraid that he will hold it all in and eventually the weight of it all will cause him to lose it.

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