7 Ways to Let Go of Insults from an A**hole.

How to Not Let Jerks Bother You.

As a blogger and as a human being, I receive feedback from others—some of which can feel like a personal assault.

The reality of life is that not everyone out there likes making other people happy. Sadly, there are people who actually derive enjoyment from being nasty to others.

So, here’s how you can refuse to not let those jerks upset your equilibrium:

1. Assess what was said objectively.

If the assault was verbal, then assess if you agree with what was said. Could you take it and use it as constructive criticism even if the delivery was less than ideal? Or was this person’s statement to you really only useful as a weapon of hurt (because there was nothing truthful or helpful in it)?

If your honest answer is the former, then try as hard as you can to turn your unpleasant interaction into self-improvement, and if not, then allow your mind to focus on the positive reality of you.

2. Understand where he/she was coming from.

If the offensive person doesn’t deserve to be treated with understanding, you do. Take time to assess the underlying why behind this person’s aggression.

Is she jealous of you? Does she feel threatened?

Granted, you can’t crawl inside another person’s head, so you’ll never know for sure where she was coming from, but it will help you to let go of hurtful words.

3. Learn self-love.

Treating yourself with love is something that should be practiced. Notice, and then focus on, what you like and enjoy about yourself and your life. Go out of your way to not permit negative self statements to live inside your thoughts. There is something real in the idea that thoughts become words and words become actions, so try to force your inner voice to speak with kindness.

With time, it will become your fluent, first language.

4. Talk to someone who loves you.

Hopefully you have someone in your life who loves you and always makes you feel better. This can be anyone: your partner, your mom, sister, or just a dear friend. Sometimes the easiest way to let go of something hurtful is to unload to another person—and let them say the right things to lift you back up.

5. Have fun.

Often we just need to clear our energy. Do something you love. Practice yoga and dedicate your mat time to a quality you love about yourself. Watch a silly movie with a friend. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. Relax and enjoy yourself.

6. Remember what matters.

Don’t give assholes more importance in your life than they deserve. Sometimes the thing that helps me the most is looking at my two-year-old daughter.

7. Reclaim your own power.

I kind of hate that statement that no one has the ability to make you feel bad without your permission, because people do make us feel bad. Still, there’s a deeper truth in this.

In the end, you are the only one who decides to carry around your baggage and to allow other people to affect you. So reclaim your right to your own happiness and to your own personal power. Feel strong in the awareness that, while someone might say things about you, it doesn’t make them true—and it doesn’t have to be your reality.

Remember, if you meet 500 strangers, there will be 500 different opinions of you, but the only one that matters is yours.


Letting to of hurtful words and interactions with others is challenging—but it is possible.

Most importantly, when we stop carrying around unnecessary baggage, we make room to invite bigger and better things (and people) into our lives—and into ourselves.



Like elephant I’m not “Spiritual.” I just practice being a good person on Facebook.



Ed: Bryonie Wise


(Source: data.whicdn.com via Darlene on Pinterest)



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Anonymous Nov 9, 2015 10:45pm

For him- Love, I hope the asshole article is not directed at me. I am hoping we can have that fresh start. I am willing to let go of the harsh words you have said to me and have apologized about anything you perceived as an insult (I don't blame you for thinking it was an insult- it was worded badly). Maybe there are more issues you need to tell me about that I haven't apologized for. Sometimes it feels like you want to push me away. Good luck with pushing me away because it doesn't seem to work. Sending you a virtual hug. Oh, I do remember there was another article a while back about suggesting not making an assumption that a man is only interested in a one night stand or something like that. Maybe me questioning you about this upset you, I don't know. I did tell you in my personal message that I was wondering about that because of that hip hop song you shared with the lyrics that go something like "I am just trying to get you out of the friend zone, when I falter that's the real me, I just fucked two other b*tches." Hey, it made me wonder about what your intentions were and plenty of people do choose to have one night stands. I don't negatively judge this even if I never have had one. I looked up the band and it is the The Weeknd and the song is the Hills in case you were wondering.By the way, I don't wonder anymore about your intention so don't worry about clarifying this. Sorry if I hurt your feelings by asking this or assuming this might be the case. Sorry for assuming you would be able to not engage emotionally if you did have a connections like this. I am sure you have cared for people even in situations like this (assuming you have had experiences like this). This is probably just a stupid stereotype (that men can detach emotionally in this way). Sorry for questioning you about it. Please tell me if there is more you are upset about.

lorando Apr 25, 2015 4:34pm

Thank you for writing this article Jennifer, I found dealing with verbal abuse and insults confusing, there are many articles about the subject online and they mostly fall between two categories; articles that suggest that you have to let it go, don't take it personally; be positive… as in your article and articles that suggest that you set boundaries, try to be assertive…
Some times i feel like both way of dealing with verbal abuse are lose lose, if you don't set boundaries, the bully might keep abusing and your self respect might be affected, and if you try to set boundaries, it might escalate and get worse.
what do you think Jennifer?

Nicole Weinberger Jan 21, 2013 5:37pm

Agreed. Asshole.

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Jennifer S. White

Jennifer S. White is a voracious reader, obsessive writer, passionate yoga instructor and drinker of hoppy ales. She’s also a devoted mama and wife (a stay-at-home yogi). She considers herself to be one of the funniest people who ever lived and she’s also an identical twin. In addition to her work on elephant journal, Jennifer has over 40 articles published on the wellness website MindBodyGreen and her yoga-themed column Your Personal Yogi ran in the newspaper Toledo Free Press. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in geology, absolutely no degrees in anything related to literature, and she currently owns a wheel of cheese. If you want to learn more about Jennifer, make sure to check out her writing, as she’s finally put her tendencies to over-think and over-share to good use. Jennifer is the author of The Best Day of Your Life, available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. She’s also as excited as a five year old to announce the release of her second book, The Art of Parenting: Love Letters from a Mother, available on Amazon.