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January 15, 2013

How to Say No (in 25 Bad A** Ways).

I’ve mastered the fine art of saying yes.

I will say yes, for the most part, to anything you ask me to do; I love you, you see and I want you to be happy.

And I am bendy and flexible and so I will warp myself into all sorts of shapes and sizes to make sure that I honor the yes that I gave you (you know…because I’m a good person.)

It doesn’t matter how stressed or how out-of-my-way I have to go to make it happen; I would rather put myself out then let you down.

But sometimes, my yes is really a no.

My body can turn my yes-into-a-no, as can my facial expression, or the tone of my voice. If you are clever, you’ll hear the no in the yes and if you are honest (unlike me, it would seem) you will call me out on it.

Why is saying no so difficult?

As soon as a no pops into my head, I fill with guilt and send myself into a dungeon full of negative thoughts—for example: I am a bad person…You won’t want to be my friend anymore…I’m not doing my part to save the world.

(Really, there is no rationale to where my mind will take me when it comes to saying no; needless to say, I am a work-in-progress.)

This year, I commit to being completely, compassionately, lovingly honest (even when it’s hard…especially when it’s hard) because I’m not honoring myself—or you—when I don’t say what I mean.

I will say yes when I mean yes (truly, madly, deeply, from my heart yes) and I will say no when I mean no (without holding guilt for doing so).

And when I am in doubt and my courage wavers, this list will surely help:

 

And for the record, I’ve learned that there is as much love in saying no as there is in saying yes.

 

Relephant:

How to Say No: Strategies to Preserve Sanity. ~ Megan Bruneau

How to Say Yes to Change & Mean It.

 

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Bonus: 

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(Source: tazzmarazz.tumblr.com via Amanda on Pinterest)

 

 

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