3.9
February 12, 2013

If I were a man, I wouldn’t read elephant.

cosmo feminism funny cosmopolitan magazine

Source: Angela Luckey via Eleni Athanasopoulos via Pinterest.

10 Reasons I wouldn’t read elephant if I were a Man.

Oh, wait: I am a man.

waylon sturman

I shave my face. I have a penis (I checked). I throw like a girl…with my left hand. I’m slow emotionally, but quick to wake up and apologize when I’ve blundered into a wall in the dark.

10 Reasons I wouldn’t read elephant, lately?

Fuck Top 10 Lists, that’s number one. Top 10 lists are click-bait for speedy folks who like to walk while texting, or drive while instagramming. I want those readers…but I want them to slow down, and read elephant when they’re sitting down in their home, drinking loose leaf tea, and listening to Miles. I want to slow down our readers, and myself, instead of contributing to the noise and hype this world is so full of. Why’s it so full of noise and hype? Because everyone’s selling something. elephant’s not selling anything but the present moment, and that’s one present that’s freely given.

I’m fine with accessible articles with sexy or cute photos and catchy headlines but…enough’s, enough. Numbers to rival a cover of Cosmo, and Relationship articles with arty photos of happy couples frolicking in stockphotoland? Stuff a pillow over my face and finish me. Yoga articles? A few, sure. But how much can you read, before we remember to, you know, get on the mat and shut up?

I’d like more articles on bicycling, and art, and poetry, and adventure…on travel, on how to be eco-responsible, on meditation, on calling out bullshit in business, more interviews with thought leaders, more articles by and about on heroes who shine through integrity, not arrogance.

There’s plenty of worthwhile stuff, on elephant. But you have to dig. Luckily, as a man, I like digging. It’s good exercise, and let’s me drink Kind Ale without getting a pot.

cosmo recycled content441px-Cosmo_May2011

So while our readership may be 75% female, our readership is, I’d say, also 75% anti-spiritual materialism. Sure, many of us like to “like” Happy-Happy Quotes, whether or not Hafiz or Rumi or the Dalai Lama or Ghandi, misspelled, actually said them.

But most of us want truth. Plain, simple, hard, raw, naked, tender truth.

And that‘s what elephant offers, that so many others do not, often. That’s our market opportunity.

So, gents, and ladies un-interested in stirring your drama cauldron and then drinking your own flatulence, send your personal, raw, tender, true stories to:

elephantjournal.com/submit

Now. Send your coverage in of things that actually matter, like tiger farms. Don’t want to share? Then go on a reading diet. Less is more. Read our best, quality content (featured in our daily and weekly newsletters), and skip the candy.

Our editors hunt candy, but some of it gets through and rots the world’s teeth. We’re working on it.

Signed,

(Gentle)man

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