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February 12, 2013

Love Letter to My Friend. ~ Amy Taylor

It’s all inside, waiting to be revealed. The map to the real you. The blueprint for bliss.

My dearest, darling girl friend,

During this week, when we celebrate love, I think of you.

In many ways, your journey has paralleled my own. You and I have lived within bubbles forever, trying to stay bouncy and safe while hiding from truths we thought we could not bear.

This year, those bubbles burst. The fall to the ground shattered me.

But learning to walk has been amazing. And I want you to walk alongside me.

In that spirit, I have one wish for you, my friend:

Let yourself feel.

It’s okay to be sad.

Yes, you are deeply blessed. You are lovely and you are loved. Other women look at you and their faces turn green. Smoke billows from their ears. How can one woman have so much?

But the walls of your childhood were constructed of cards. And the winds came and scattered them everywhere, leaving you cold and shivering.

It’s sad, sweetheart. I’m sad for you. You can be sad for you, too.

Use the drugs to blunt the edge, if it helps. Find joy where you can, in fashion and film. But please don’t climb right back onto that perch that wouldn’t hold when the storms came, for they will come again.

Cry, mourn and be wrecked for awhile. Be real. Keep your feet on the ground.

Let the earth hold you.

Let yourself feel.

It’s okay to be mad.

Darling, you got a rough deal. You’ve been a pawn, a pillar and a princess, all in the guise of love. You played your part so well that no one wants the show to end. But I can see that you’re tired from dancing so fast.

And you’re pissed because they won’t stop clapping; they won’t go away. You’re done, drained, finished, spent but the audience demands another encore.

You need to let go. Stop dancing. Stomp off the stage.

Say no. Say hell no.

Let yourself feel.

It’s okay to get help.

Real help, I mean. Help beyond the pills. Find someone to hold your hand as you dive deep into yourself and discover the mysteries of your soul.

Yes, some will be hideous. They will be hard to see; it will hurt.

But others will be silvery prisms of light that will enliven and inspire you. You’ll uncover beauty and power you didn’t know you possessed.

It’s all inside, waiting to be revealed. The map to the real you. The blueprint for bliss.

Take that trip, now. Please don’t wait any longer.

Let yourself feel.

Let yourself feel.

Let yourself feel.

Love,

your friend

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Ed: Brianna Bemel

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