May 21, 2013

5 Ways to Ease into Conflict.

Good lesson.

A few weeks ago, I was trap shooting and during the process, there was a very generous man standing behind me keeping me oriented along the way…and being so patient with me through all of it.

He was instructing me of appropriate stance, and informing me of the mechanics of the gun, etc…little did he know I can hold my own there, but nevertheless, I appreciated the instruction.

But one of the comments he repeated was “Don’t be so busy aiming at the target, allow your eyes to naturally follow it so then your focus is more direct.”

It seems trivial, but honestly it spoke to me. Because throughout my first few rounds, I was allowing my brain to dominate the experience.

The ways in which it manifested were unease when the clay pigeon was released. Immediately, once I realized that a task was at hand, my body’s expression was completely cognitive and I began to behave out of fear.

It really was incredible—interesting in and of itself was the fact that I could apply a relatively simple experience to a large life challenge.

There have been a couple of big challenges in my life as of late, and when I think of the notion of ‘easing into conflict’ I am reminded of what there is to focus on, and where my energies are not served.  It is important for me to understand where my sensitivities lie, where there is an opportunity to me to speak my truth, and how I can be authentic about where I’ve been inauthentic.

I was able to see myself enter into conflict and the way that I approach it.

I was able to see my natural inclination to be cognitive, in my head with confusion and fear—I shot my gun with anxiety at the source. All I was doing was aiming, when I should have been naturally following, and allowing the situation to run its course and flow with it’s process.

And what a lesson to learn.

Now I know that when negative charge stands in my path, I will make sure to connect my head and body, to make my emotional and physical being be one. Because when I do that, my expression is more free and fluid and not static.

The moment I stopped aiming and started following and accepting, I hit targets—approach negative charge with ease.

A few ways to take conflict and authentically ease into it:

1. Understand why you are triggered, or why the particular situation feels like conflict.

2. Making specific note of your sensitivities and understanding where they originated.

3. Accepting those sensitivities and getting oriented to how you can take care of yourself.

4. Get complete with who there is to get complete with by having a conversation with the person.

5. Taking responsibility for your part in everything.



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Ed: Bryonie Wise

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Greer Van Dyck

Greer Van Dyck, M.A. appreciates the quiet of the early morning hours. Proudly representing herself as a “realistic optimist,” she thrives on challenging herself in the workplace and on the playing field. She works for a startup company called TherapySites, who specializes in providing web based solutions for mental health care practitioners and gets geeked out over riding her single speed mountain bike. The work keeps her stimulated and always tests her creative edge and business savvy.
She references the words of Kahlil Gibran often and appreciates the wisdom of his words. One of her favorite quotes is, “Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.” Game on. Providing therapeutic services in and around Boulder, CO. Please feel free to call at 706-714-6500 or email at [email protected]