10 Things to Give Up in Exchange for Happiness.

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Via Daily Transformations

I’m told happiness is a choice.

Unfortunately we complicate our lives to the point of being unable to recognize happiness when it appears before our eyes.

So how to clear the slate? Here are 10 things you’ll need to give up in exchange for your happiness.

1.  Give up caring what other people think of you. I know it seems counter intuitive as we humans are primal pack animals that don’t want to be cast from the village, but spending time worrying what others think, is a waste of energy. You’ll never please everyone and it’s none of your business what others think of you.

2. Give up trying to please everyone.  Unless you’re living life to the beat of your own drum, your tribe won’t be able to find you. Be the best version of you you can be, and you’ll naturally attract in the people that are supposed to surround you.

3. Give up participating in gossip. 100 percent of the time, those sharing gossip with you will gossip about you. Believing gossip is like gambling everything on a horse sight unseen. It’s naive.

4. Quit worrying. Where thoughts go, energy flows. Worry is investing time and energy in something you don’t want to have happen. Learn to let go and trust.

5. Let go of insecurity. When we take ourselves too seriously, we think everyone else does too. There is one version of you on the planet. Be it, own it and quit worrying about it. No one really cares or watches you that closely.

6. Stop taking everything personally. Truth is, most people are too consumed with their own life to really consider what you’re doing. As my first boss said so well: “The world doesn’t revolve around you. Most people’s reactions have nothing to do with you, so let it go.”

7. Give up the past. We’ve all been hurt, we all had parents that made mistakes and we’ve all been through hell. You didn’t listen to your parents when you were younger, so why are you still listening to their voices in your head now? Every experience in life has taught you something or made you stronger.

8. Give up spending money on what you don’t need in effort to buy happiness. Living simply allows the space for life to flow. We complicate our lives by spending too much money and filling our home with “things.” Less is truly more.

9. Give up anger. Anger burns a hole in the hand of the person still holding on to it. Move it out once and for all.

10. Give up control. Control is an illusion.  We live in an out of control world.  Learn to embrace the new and welcome change; otherwise you’ll grow old through your own rigidity. Learn to let go.


Like The Mindful Life on Facebook.


Ed: Kate Bartolotta

Image: Brooke Cagle/Unsplash



Chasing Happiness will Make us Miserable.

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anonymous Mar 8, 2014 7:51am

Nice article, but your basic assumption is a little off base. Happiness isn't something we must latch onto "when it appears before our eyes".
Choosing to be happy is something you do inside, in every situation you face in life. If you wait for happy situations to come around you won't be happy, even when you manage to grab one you'll be afraid of losing it.
For example, if you get cut off in traffic you can stay in your happy place or you can jump toward road rage. It's not something that happens to you, it's always a choice you make.

anonymous Jan 17, 2014 3:16am

Wonderful article!!! Such great points on how we all should be reminded to live our lives. Thank for for sharing your wisdom with us to help us improve!! Elephant Journal rocks!!!

anonymous Dec 29, 2013 5:09pm

I am taking #5 to heart and doing something I don't normally do….. Posting a comment. Actually I'm working on all 10 you mention. I love the words " in exchange for happiness." When you put it like that the work becomes easy. Great read Tamara. Thanks.

anonymous Dec 10, 2013 9:59pm

great topic 🙂 feeling blessed

anonymous Dec 10, 2013 4:52am

This IS the way I live my life, and I AM happy! Regardless of some of the things that have happened in my life. It's important to note, too, that life does not happen TO you. Bad things do not happen TO you. Good things do not happen TO you. They happen, and we are impacted by that action, but what we choose to do with it is entirely our own choice. Stay positive!

anonymous Dec 7, 2013 10:59am

happiness to me is waking up every morning and feeling great at 82

anonymous Dec 3, 2013 11:26pm

Such a good daily mantra!!! Thank you for your words.

anonymous Dec 3, 2013 8:35pm

i give up. how am i doin' so far?

anonymous Dec 3, 2013 6:40am

No coincidences. My state of mind has landed me in my sick bed. Worrying about others and lack of faith. Thank you for this

anonymous Dec 2, 2013 11:55am

"There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which can't be filled by any created thing, but only by God.

    anonymous Dec 2, 2013 7:14pm

    Agree! Also she should have added giving up self. Self gets in the way of serving others which is true happiness.

anonymous Aug 30, 2013 1:20am

What a great article, I couldn't agree more. I'm going to copy this to remind myself whenever the need arises. x

anonymous Jul 14, 2013 6:04am

Excellent – though I do think number 11 could be Give Up Facebook! ' http://kevollier.com/ 🙂

anonymous Jun 26, 2013 10:41am

GREAT article. I shared it on my @DrKarin facebook page and look forward to others loving it too! Keep it up! ~Karin

    anonymous Jun 28, 2013 12:57pm

    Karin, thank you so much. That makes me so happy to hear. I hope others are served well by it. ~T

anonymous Jun 11, 2013 11:51am

Elephant is my therapist today. LOVE.

    anonymous Jun 28, 2013 12:59pm

    I love it when something resonates and it's FREE! 🙂

anonymous Jun 7, 2013 4:39pm

Love how concise this was. So a propos. Loved it.

    anonymous Jun 28, 2013 12:58pm

    (I'd better keep my response concise too!)
    Thanks for noticing Oana..it took a lot of rewrites on my end to cut it down and not dribble on.

anonymous Jun 7, 2013 9:48am

Really great thoughts, thank you so much for posting! I will make a point to word on #4!

    anonymous Jun 28, 2013 12:57pm

    You and me BOTH Whitney. I'm betting you'd like my post on my site http://www.dailytransformations.com about fear and worry. I was attacked by a deer on solstice and it changed me completely. Check out the blog…i am so over fear and worry now. xoxo

anonymous Jun 7, 2013 9:26am

yep! 🙂

anonymous Jun 6, 2013 4:58pm


Gill Brand Sep 26, 2018 10:42am

its amazing how we all have the shame useless baggage on common that we hold on to so dearly. thanks for the wake up call!

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Tamara Star

Tamara Star believes happiness is not an end destination, but instead the ability to see the ordinary through eyes of wonder.

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