June 24, 2013

When to Say What, When. ~ Edith Lazenby

When More Is Less or Less Is More.

You know I lie when I must, to protect myself usually and sometimes to protect another.

I don’t complain. I kvetch. And often I write about what’s going on via metaphor and image. I learn that way. I don’t know where I am going when I pull up a white screen. I let my muse lead me. I just tap the keys.

Life is like that as well.

My muse in life is a combination of love and faith.

Sometimes I find them in friends and neighbors. Sometimes I see them in the moon. Often my kitties, silly as it seems, work for me in this way.

On an almost daily basis my elderly father does more than he can ever imagine. He listens. He cares.

Family is sacred. I love all of them, especially my husband, best friend and the one person who supports me in finding ways to live my dreams.

Work is another matter for most of us. Most of us have jobs we barely tolerate, yet survival demands we do what we have to do.

In AA they say do the next right thing.

Sometimes the next right thing is nothing. Sometimes we don’t know what it is, but we brush our teeth, buy our groceries, pay the bills we can and file the ones we can’t. Often, the next right thing is turning into dreams.

I have a friend who knows how to work with people. She told me once to focus on solutions, not problems. I thought that was good advice.

And we all have feelings and feelings get hurt.

I look at the horizon and embrace the rain. I believed, for most of my life, everything happens for a reason. Then I worked with someone who could find no reason for the degree of physical pain she endured day after day as a result of an accident.

I don’t know that there is always a reason for what happens. Chance is chance and it holds good luck as well as bad. It overrides karma and enters into leila in yoga-speak.

I teach yoga full time. I have a job I love.

That is a gift that keeps on giving.

Yet, I do believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t pretend to always know the reason or assume I am supposed to know the reason. The Divine in my mind is beyond my mind.

The Divine is found in the heart.

So I do tell lies. The truth often hides there. I don’t believe we are all created equal. Some are smarter than others. Some are kinder than others. Some have insurmountable challenges and make my woes look like nursery school.

A wise friend reminded me we cannot compare our pains. Some are abused and traumatized and keep rolling. Others stop. Some bruises are visible and many are not.

I do believe most of the time most are doing their best.

I believe I am responsible for my actions and my words.

I know it is easier to feel my own heart’s pain than another’s.

I try to help those who cross my path and ask for it.

So when to say what and when it is best not to say a word?

Well, I have to say it’s hard to say. I keep my side of the street clean. I probably talk too much and cry when I must, and laugh when I can.

I know what works for me. Let me know what works for you.


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Ed: B. Bemel

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