Deeper Loving—Tips for a Lasting Partnership.

Via Carrie Ciula
on Jul 3, 2013
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Relationships fascinate me.

I’m naturally curious about and aware of a person’s story: their journey, their struggles, the things that they’ve learned as a result of their collective experience, their joys and passions—the way that they interact with others and dive into and negotiate matters of the heart, love and connection.

The dynamic between two lovers is both personal and universal. There are so many unique twists and turns—yet, love, and the way in which we interact and develop bonds, seems to hold many commonalities across groups and cultures.

This dynamic is always shifting. Where maybe a simple declaration of “partnership” may have sufficed for two people to meet up and remain together in the past, the souls in our current time and space are wanting and needing more; they’re wanting and needing a real connection—a connection that is every bit as much based and focused on the spiritual as it is the physical. Paradigms are crumbling and shape-shifting. What works—what really works—is in the process of being turned upside down and re-written.

For those a tad late to the party, it’s a tricky game.

Many of us are more fully stepping into and embracing assertive, powerful roles. We are less likely to settle for a lover who doesn’t match our full vision of an ideal partner, which could make establishing a foundationally solid relationship an upstream swim for anyone who misrepresents him or herself. Manifesting and developing a strong and sustaining relationship is much easier after egos are released and daily thoughts and actions are fully and authentically aligned with the words representing those daily thoughts and actions.

The following are a handful of loving tips for brewing up a sustaining and mutually satisfying connection.

1. Always, in all ways, adore, love and respect each other.

2. Listen well and learn to understand the difference between talking to and talking with.

3. Understanding the foundational differences between divine masculine and divine feminine energy will go a long way in transforming moments of frustration.

4. Take the time to discover, understand and fulfill your partner’s emotional needs—the things that convey caring, devotion and respect.

5. Continue to create and support a deeper sense of shared meaning. Occasionally step away from routine household on-goings to focus on the “larger picture” things that might have brought you together and support your growth.

6. Emotional maturity, intelligence and a good sense of humor is sexy. Period.

7. Confidence is essential. Arrogance—not so much.

8. Offer a grounded foundation—a place where your partner can safely and reliably seek refuge.

9. Learn to let go of the day and be present and invested in your intimate moments together.

10. Spend as much time getting to know yourself as you spend getting to know your partner. Happiness and balance overflow—affecting all connections.

11. Allow each other to explore interests without emanating a possessive energy.

When opening up to another being, in a sustaining way, nobody really cares about what you look like, how much money you make, where you live, what car you drive or what kind of “spiritual” lingo you can pass along from the latest Eckhart Tolle book that you’ve read.

What you bring to the table during the quiet, silent moments; how you speak through your daily decisions and actions, who you are and how you consistently show up—these are important elements of character and presence.

Be yourself.

Be Truthful.

Communicate from your gut and heart space.


Cultivate a foundational trust that is fulfilling and sustaining—and you’ll effortlessly draw in strong, wholly beautiful partners who are, in turn, capable of giving to and building a high-vibe relationship that is sound and solid—for the long stretch.




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Ed: B. Bemel

Photo: wikipedia 


About Carrie Ciula

Carrie Ciula is a writer and devoted believer in sustainable, earth-connected living and whole-food nutrition. It is her deepest desire and joy to bring through the vibration of unconditional love and to hold space for all that divinely unfolds through each of us. Connect with Carrie through her website, Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.


15 Responses to “Deeper Loving—Tips for a Lasting Partnership.”

  1. Gerry Ellen says:

    Fantastic article!

  2. bernecho says:

    Awesome. I needed this today.

  3. Darren [Australia] says:

    As a guy, I have to write something here. Not to defend the average males shallow ego, but to say what an awesome article you've written that is bang on! A strong, beautiful, spiritually savvy woman recently told me that she wished more guys did yoga – for the exact reasons you've outlined. I guess it's my job to get more guys into yoga, so that they can find themselves truly and deeply, for the benefit of womankind 🙂

  4. Josh says:

    Great piece , I needed that today , a little refocusing is always a great thing>

  5. Kai says:

    Amazing piece. Spot on!

  6. kzelmoon says:

    Hmmm… not sure about you but in my neck of the woods relationships are cracking and crumbling all over the place, long-term marriages ending. And maybe its just our local water but at least 4 of the marriages I know of that have come to an end are because the women got bored and wanted some strange. Now that is really a superficial reason, but what Im observing is that these women have deep deep wounds that have never been healed and they havent yet learned to love themselves (and most of them "do yoga".) The men they are leaving are (at least from my never-been-married-to-that-guy perspective) grounded, devoted, kind, understanding, etc… and its the women who are restless, kind of spoiled, not taking responsibility for their shit. All this is to say that I dont get the gender-fication of this piece. There are definite archetypal masculine and feminine traits that we embody but throughout this piece it could mostly be read with as much truth if you switch the he/she the other way around. For instance, "Here are a handful of general and fun tips I’ve put together to help any one develop a mutually satisfying connection with a sharp and soulful someone"

  7. uma simon says:

    Good for you. It's interesting to me how women on the "spiritual" path are really looking for God, whereas men seem to be happy with the women they have and are not search for God in a woman. It could be because women possess both male and female qualities which make for a great package to be with, where men sometimes only rely upon their left brain and are content to be analytical, rational, etc., which is not bad, yet women want the "whole"package too, and for the most part, men have not wanted to own both sides of their brains. Some women, however, seek companionship with other women; others think it's reason enough to walk away from a relationship. Anyway, nicely written, well-thought out article.

  8. smallgrl says:

    I so resonate with this, but would never have known how to express it so eloquently. Thank you!

  9. Lea says:

    There's a difference between being spoiled and speaking up about your emotional needs. As long as you're not relying on someone for your happiness you can have healthy expectations from a relationship. That doesn't mean you're "wounded", ,neither does "doing yoga". Being spoiled is wanting and being accustomed to having everything your way. It's not the same thing as knowing what you personally need and expressing it.

  10. Kim Roberts says:

    interesting perspectives here, including the comments! thanks for igniting it.

  11. TheMeetingGuy says:

    Yo Kzelmoon, and everyone… so yeah as good as this article is, and I did get a lot from reading it, to me Kzel here is bringing some truth: In my experience, women leave men more than men leave women. (whether they are together or not…) – I've seen many couples/families broken because the woman is restless. The author offers a bullet list of how men can behave to prevent this. Fine, good stuff. The balance would have been welcome.

  12. Sarah says:

    Wow. You took the words from my heart and put them in front of me. Thank you for so eloquently and accurately describing what many of us wish we could say. I will definitely be keeping my eyes peeled for more of your articles!

  13. danny says:

    well said

  14. Sarah S says:

    I completely agree with what you said Sarah. It’s both about men an women and it does get tiring reading just about one side like Cosmo an all them telling women and men to be a certain way. When really we should just be our selves but be mindful of the other person and be aware of there wants an needs because it’s about two people, whether it’s about boy-girl girl-girl or boy-boy doesn’t matter who your going out with as long as you care about the person and try to understand them and there feelings that’s all that really matters. All articles should be about understanding both sides and vein about to talk an discuss it with both. I would like to see an article written by Man and a women getting both prospective a and a combined one would be interesting.

  15. Sacred journey of a yogini says:

    This is the best most informative article that I have read in a long time and spot on in every way. i am sure that it works both ways. Thank you for this piece of pure wisdom.