“I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.”
~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It’s okay to let yourself go and completely indulge in bereavement, loss and love.
Recently, I have dared to love and accept the death of my dad. I feel is part of the process to engage in my loss and get in contact with my own wounds of love. Our wounds are love left unloved. So let’s pay attention, care and love our wounds of love.
I have found freedom in the process of pain—it depletes us and somehow it uplifts us. It prepares us for a deep process where I’ve found that we need to unveil our minds and free our hearts.
Each heart holds it’s own cure.
Which brings me to share five simple lessons I’ve learned from my open heart.
These five simple lessons can be reminders that in the silence of your heart you are capable of acknowledging the depth of wisdom of your heart.
The most important lessons in life are experienced with an open heart and by the silence of the mind.
1. Stop questioning the mind about an answer only an open heart can give you.
Every day, as a young female who studies counseling psychology, is single and not married, a daughter and a sister, but yet wants to find her soul in every role she plays, catches herself lost in this question of the mind—and I wonder who am I?
My humble advice to anyone who would actually allow themselves to ask that simple question would be—do not answer a question of the heart with the limited roles and definitions of my mind.
Stop right there.
We have to dare to disengage from the roles we hold and own so dearly as “ourselves”—you know what I’m talking about—the ones we use to define who we really are.
Acknowledge that defining what we do in society is just one little fragment or maybe less, of who we really are. So I learned to stop questioning the mind, with a question of the heart.
Lesson learned: The wisdom of our heart will be your silent guide along the way, so there’s no need to keep questioning who you really are in the process. Who we really are will unveil to us in every step and in every wound.
2. Be a present artist of life.
Feelings need our presence to be able to engage to who.
They need an open space to breathe and run wild. They are feelings and as such, they need to be experienced and not judge by you.
Lesson learned: To be present in every aspect of being alive, and that means feeling heartened or drained which means—feeling a lot or feeling empty by it all. So, this takes me a little bit deeper to the next lesson.
3. Grief equals love but love does not always means we have to grieve.
I began to acknowledge that the most important touch of love begins within us.
The first love encoded into our roots, conceals in our own wounds. They show us how to love. They present themselves as open invitations to feel—taking us to a safe place, where we could experience love, because wounds left untouched is love left unloved.
Lesson learned: To actually unveil love within ourselves we have to bare our own wounds. At the same time, it’s okay to actually love yourself and others without getting yourself wounded.
What I mean here is that we are so accustomed to grieve and fear, but somehow we have forgotten to enjoy what is real love.
4. Love is real.
Love is love and grief is grief. I’ve learned that I don’t need to value or not it’s authenticity or existence, it just is, and that’s real enough for me.
Lesson learned: My feelings are meant to be experienced. They don’t need to be analyzed and be reduced to a label—to establish and survive in my heart.
So beware—and don’t ask the mind—if what you feel is real. If you need to ask the mind what you feel, your heart is already telling you the answer to that question.
5. Do I stay or do I run from life’s empty moments.
This takes me to the simple—but yet complex conclusion—that acknowledging is feeling. Feeling is real. Grief, love, and emptiness are real. Silence is real. Opening my heart to feel and be is real.
Lesson learned: I’ve learned from opening my heart—for now—is that silence is the bridge to my wounds and the love concealed within myself. The process of peeling my aching heart to its open invitation is palpable when I engage to silence within my heart and soul.
My will and essence need to be felt not by the words of the mind but by the silence of my open heart. When I let go of all the barriers and all the questions and roles to love I created within my mind, I found the bridge, between my mind and heart.
My heart is the answer. Feeling is the answer. Being is the answer. I am the answer to my question and my heart doesn’t need to be questioned to guide me, to heal me and replenish me with its love.
My open heart is the intelligence of my soul.
So let’s stop looking for answers to questions of the mind and give yourself a break to replenish in the wisdom of your heart.
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Asst. Ed: Tawny Sanabria/Ed.: Bryonie Wise
(Photo: via Pinterest)