September 7, 2013

Haters. ~ Dana Gornall


Hater: A person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.

Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesnt really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock somelse down a notch.

~ from the Urban Dictionary

It’s kind of like a virus—contagious and draining, yet hard to become immune to. Tearing people down for the mere sake of boredom, or humor is not new.

This form of passive bullying has been around forever, but unfortunately with the internet has become easier to spew and a lot more prevalent.

It’s so easy to hide behind a computer screen or mobile phone and rip into another person to prove a point or crack a joke.

Maybe, when posting a comment or “correction” you feel a slight twinge of guilt for the mean-spirirted words that are flying off your fingers in your indignation. But maybe, you have no guilt because after all, people just need to develop a thick skin.

Certainly we all need to be able to accept criticism, right?

I mean, come on. Don’t take it personally. Suck it up. This is what being in the world is like. You can’t take the heat? Get out of the kitchen. Am I right?

But wait. There is a real person behind that profile picture you see flickering on your screen. A person, behind that byline, with a home and a family, perhaps a dog or a cat, a job and a bed to sleep in every night and—yes flaws.

The person in that picture has ideas to share and dreams to pursue, and sometimes has bad days and trips over the cat.

I know we have all been in that hot seat at some point or another. We have all been the one that was yelled at, or fired or told explicitly where to go. The feeling of being tore apart with words and actions can sometimes chip away at the soul causing irreparable damage, and yes a thicker “skin.”

Because scars have a way of making the skin thicker.

But I’m writing this to ask: Is that really necessary? And before you type out a feverish response, stop and ask yourself why. Is it possible, that maybe you are over compensating for an unresolved, deep-seated issue you have formed somewhere along your journey? Are name-calling and put-downs really necessary?

Whether you believe in karma, salvation, Heaven or nothing, there is something undeniably wrong about hate. Call it what you want, but hurtful speech is just that—hurtful.

Think before you speak, or type or click send because your words have power. Use it wisely.

“One man cannot hold another man down in the ditch without remaining down in the ditch with him.”

~ Booker T. Washington


Like I’m not “Spiritual” I just practice being a good person on Facebook.


Ed: Bryonie Wise

Photo credit: Flickr

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kimberly lo Sep 7, 2013 9:54pm

Love this!

Michelle Marchildon Sep 7, 2013 1:46pm


Renee Sep 7, 2013 9:03am

Thanks for this great reminder! I encountered a hurtful comment on a friends post (that actually included the word "scum") and then this was the very next post in the News Feed…so I shared 🙂

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Dana Gornall

Dana Gornall is a mom of three crazy kids and a dog. She works as a licensed massage therapist in Amherst, Ohio and is a certified sign language interpreter. She is always looking forward to even more personal growth. While not interpreting, doing massage, or being with her family she loves going to yoga. You can connect with her on Twitter and Facebook.