December 12, 2013

41 Ways to Make Love to Yourself. {Adult}

Relephant reads:

How to Be Naked.

The Secret is Falling in Love With Yourself. 

How to Make Love to Yourself.

Warning: naughty language ahead!


1. Wear silk. Tight or loose. There is just something about silk that says,“Hell yes, I love you.”  Wear the kind of silk that glides across hardwood floors like you are sliding against ice. Wear silk that gets warm and then cold.

The kind that is easy to slide in and out of.

2. Hot water. Every day. Squeezed from a sponge against your belly, down your arms. Hot water pressed against your face. Get lost in water.

3. Altars. Everywhere. All invocations to you.

4. Pay attention to your feet. Girl, those feet have walked millions of miles seeking love and freedom and truth. Rub them. Oil them. Pamper them. Behold them.

5. Place your hand on your womb and breathe into it for 15 minutes. Your body is the tabernacle where love meets up and prays for more.

Your body is holy land. Your body does not lie.

6. Write. Write like a schoolgirl with a crush. Write like a political rebel. Write like a lost angel. Write like you know. Write in symbols. Write in code. Write on scraps. Write on the wall. Write everything there is. Write everything there isn’t.  Write like you make love. Write your love.

7. Every day whisper these words to yourself, “What do you do, what do you say, what do you think, what do you know.”

8. Coconut oil. All over. Everywhere. Yes, even there.

9. Feed your body when you are hungry. Give it food. Give it bread. Give it meat. Give it roots. Give it exotic spices.  Give it large bowls and wide plates. Feed your body when you are hungry. Food is love.

10. Dance alone, for yourself, in the dark. Let your clothes rip. Let your hair be a mess. Move your body like you do in your dreams. Sweat it out. Get out of breath. Pant to a rhythm. Let your ass lead.

Dance some more. Repeat.

11. Drip rose oil into your palms and place them on your face. Scent is love.

12. Buy the expensive jeans and look at your ass in them throughout the day and say,“Damn. I own that ass.”

13. Touch every part of your body, the ins and outs, the lowers and the uppers. Use your hands. Touch your body like you love your body. Touch your body like it’s your body and nobody else’s body because that’s the truth and if it’s not the truth—reclaim your ownership by touching even more. Touch your body until it’s imprinted by only your love.

14. Find some damiana. Put it in some silk. Sleep with it under your pillow. Smoke it. Drink it. Let it turn you on and open you up to the mind blowing experience that you are your best lover. That you turn yourself totally on.

You are your own aphrodisiac.

15. Take photos of yourself. Share them. Or. Fuck that. Keep them for your eyes only. You need no external validation. Keep an entire folder of pictures just of you. For only you.

16. Skinny dip in cold water. Listen for coyotes. Run fast, naked, through the woods. Find a clearing. Do yoga. Alone.

17. Eat ripe fruit in bed. Get sticky. Lick where you can reach.

18. Tell your story.

19. Re-tell your story.

20. Get sick of telling your story.

21. Make up a new story.

22. Black lace, Rye, Billie Holiday, chocolate and William Carlos Williams. At least one night this month.

23. Go for a run in the rain.

24. Luxuriate in the smell of your own body.

25. Get lost in the city or in the forest with a pen and paper. Listen. Write.

26. Kiss yourself in the mirror every single day. Like you did when you were 12 and practicing for the real thing. Slow kiss. Fast kiss. Fat lip kiss. Wet kiss. Light peck. Keep it real kind of kiss. Feel good kind of kiss.

27. Every day write yourself a note that asks, “What do you want?” Answer it all day long.

28. Drink broth for breakfast in your skivvies and high heels. Or maybe long underwear and a wool beanie or a leopard print kimono, barefoot with black toe nail polish. Drink broth and tea and hot water with lemon.

Give yourself some heat first thing. Fire your insides up. Stoke what wants to burn for you all day.

29. When the moon is filled with the sun’s light, stand under Her. Alone. State your need, your blessed vision, your self-compassion creed. Don’t be timid. Cry it out. Yell it loud. Do not take “no” for an answer. Insist upon it all.  Bow down to yourself. You are the full moon. Grant your own wish.

30. Practice magic. You know what that means. All women do. Stop pretending you don’t. Magic is sexy. Just like you.

31. Hold a “Make Love To Yourself” ritual. Red candles. Red wine. Rose incense. Rose quartz and Lapis. Johnny Cash, Neil Young or some hot sound man like that.

Write a love letter with detailed instructions to yourself about how you want to be loved. Follow them to a T.

32. Invite a friend to tell you all the reasons they would make love to you if you you’d only let them.

33. Offer a piece of hair to the Earth in a grand gesture of thanks and of promise. You will show up. You will show up to make earth quaking and quivering love to the dirty soil of your soil. Love your dirty soul. There is so much nourishment in what is your dirt.

34. Sometimes you might just need to get a hotel room. So. Just do it. Go.

35. Write poetry on your body. In black ink. Let it wear away on it’s own. In it’s own time. In it’s own space. Until it does. Let your body drink in the words.

36. You are wild. You were born that way. So how about conjuring up a louder kind of wild. Raise the volume a bit, let it boil up to the surface of your skin. Open your mouth and howl. Scream bloody love. Cackle like the million year old witch that you are. Rub dirt on your face. Paint your belly with mud. Weave moss in your hair. Stir your cauldron. Let the wild shine in your eye.

Be seen. Don’t hide behind domestication. You are wild. Wild is love.

37. Buy some really pretty rings and get married along the waterside to your one and only you. Hallowed be your name.

38. Holy hell, make a total mess. An unruly and inappropriate mess and lay in it, roll around in it, surrender to it.  Give thanks to the wild wind that scatters the chaos.

39. Get tarot cards. Read them daily. Inhale your own oracle. What you know is your light.

40. Feel you hands. Hold your hands in your hands. Interlace your fingers together. Smell your hands. Rub your palms together. Get them hot. Place on them your cheeks. Press your fingers together and then press them against your lips. Kiss your hands. Run your fingers through your hair.

41. Tell your truth through blood red lips. Tell the truth you’re not sure of. Tell the truth you know you want. Tell the truth that hurts so bad and hurts so fucking good. Tell the truth of lies and the lies of the truth. Remind yourself there is no right or wrong. Remind yourself. Always.

There are only a million different ways to love yourself.

There are million ways to seduce.


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Assistant Editor: Alicia Wozniak / Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Sandy Manase/deviantART

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