January 26, 2014

3 Reasons to Make Love Right Now. (It’s Not What You Think.)

If we are fortunate enough, we have made the kind of love that has awakened our deepest spiritual places, helping us to feel both loved and lost in a state of Zen-like abandonment.

It can be surreal when we first discover just how vulnerable and yet empowered we can feel, simply by awakening our most primal of needs.

There is a reason why the most heart-wrenching and memorable art centers on love affairs of the heart and body, kept ignited and sought after by each of us, even if we cannot articulate it in words or in the solace of our own private moments, as we gently weep and crave for its calling.

And it is not only because as sensitive human beings, we desire the bond that only lovemaking and sexual grounding can bring. It is also because as sentient beings, we instinctively know the art of erotic love helps us to feel closer to the higher spiritual power that we wish to awaken within us.

This spiritual plane can often be raw and mystical, while at other times a safe haven that makes us feel at peace with the universe, whether it be with this one or with another that we are searching for beyond any realm of understandable knowledge.

For each person, this vulnerable place of bliss may be different and yet entirely universal in its boundless girth and birthright. As a young and naive woman, I once thought I would only be able to make love in a literal and authentic manner if I could somehow replicate the great lovers that seared my childhood through moving music, art and the classic books that seared my desire for a passion-filled life.

The lovers from Shakespeare’s classic Romeo and Juliet,  the characters Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler from Gone With the Wind, and even the tortured Samson and Delilah from The Bible comes first into my sensual and evocative memory.

But now that I have lived a glorious and complicated life, both weary and dark, as well emphatically beauteous and spontaneous, I have learned that the art of making love sometimes means not trying to make art at all. Alas, the exotically soft and sensual movements are wondrous, but so are the spontaneous dances we allow ourselves by simply being creatures of healthy sexual habits.

And while the benefits of a robust and enjoyable sex life can help lovers feel more bonded together on both a physical and emotional level, there are proven medical and scientific benefits that our ancestors, and even we know to be instinctively true.

And here they are:

Three Benefits for Having Sex

1. Sex is great for our hearts.

Having sex and making love are simply great for our hearts all around, whether or not we partake in it wildly on the kitchen counter or quietly under the covers of twilight. And the more sex we have the better, according to the latest findings by doctors, heart specialists and even spiritual and mental health practitioners.

The old beliefs that sex is an act that couples should choose only if they wish to have children, on special occasions, or to be enjoyed only by the young at heart, so to speak, are useless and untrue.

And it goes both ways, as having a healthy love life also makes us feel better emotionally, which in turn, also makes us feel more healthy physically and want to have more sex.

According to Dean Nukta, MD, Medical Director of Interventional Cardiology at Fairview Hospital in Cleveland, “If you have a healthy heart, you are more likely to have frequent sex, and a healthy sex life may also decrease your heart attack risk factors.”

And making love can also count as working out, which is also great for the heart. According to Joseph J. Pinzone, M.D., CEO and Medical Director of Amai Wellness, “Sex is a really great form of exercise. It won’t replace the treadmill, but it counts for something.”

Pinzone says that sex uses about five calories per minute, four more calories than watching TV and that it bumps up the heart rate and uses various muscles. “Like with exercise, consistency helps maximize benefits,” he said.

Having a healthy heart and a regular sex life also helps to lower blood pressure, helps with stress reduction and enables one to have an healthier overall sense of emotional well being.

So, when you think about it, there is no medical, philosophical or even logical reason not to have sex, if happiness and health all around is what you are after.


The next time you feel tired, restless and out of sync with your partner and yourself, why not seduce and romance him or her in the bedroom or somewhere else? Just think of it as a workout for all the important parts of your heart, as well as a chance to have a great deal of fun and relaxation.

One thing you can do:

Surprise your lover on a weeknight when they least expect it . . . with candles, a bubble bath and some sultry music as you undress slowly but surely. This will take them by surprise and awaken both of you to your romantic self, which is great for your physical and your emotional heart.

2. Sex boosts our immune system.

Enjoying a healthy sex life on a regular basis is wonderful for the immune system, which we can all use at every age and moment of our adult life.

It turns out that when we’re enjoying the art of making love, our body’s immune system and complex ways of fighting off diseases and illnesses also kicks into high gear, right along with our passionate parts.

With sex, not only are we enjoying life in a more heightened manner, but our health is as well, and recent medical studies show that a healthy social and sexual lifestyle can help ward off an infinite amount of diseases, from colds to cancer.

According to Yvonne K. Fullbright, PhD, a sexual health expert who writes widely about the subject, ” Sexually active people even take fewer sick days.”

Researchers at the Wilkes University in Pennsylvania conducted a study with college students who took part in sexual activity once or twice a week. The findings were conclusive: those students who had more sex had significantly higher levels of a certain antibody compared to students who had sex much less often.

While recently talking to some women my age ‘who are not college students anymore,’ the findings seemed to match the earlier study.

One woman reported that along with making chicken soup and taking more vitamins around cold season, she makes date nights with her husband, because in her words, “Having sex is like a flu shot,” she said. “Because when I feel sexy, I have no intention of getting sick and usually don’t.”


The next time you take your vitamins, drink your eighth glass of water of the day and try out that latest vegan recipe, try to reach for your lover as well. You will both feel and be healthier if you are having a hot and a romantic sex life, and I bet that you won’t feel sick for long, even if you started out that feeling that way.

One Thing You Can Do:

Change your mindset about your health and take a proactive position, such as a great one with your lover, so to speak. Don’t wait until you feel stressed out, fatigued and under the weather. Set aside time to make love and make that a priority. The worst thing that will happen is that you may still get a cold, but you will have had fun in the meantime.

3. Sex centers us spiritually.

When most people think of spirituality, they do not usually think of sexuality, and yet making love with another human being is truly one of the most intimate of ways to feel both grounded, as well as uplift one’s spiritual conscience to levels that are unmatched.

As a young woman, I used to think of sexuality as a naughty and forbidden subject, as many Westerners view it. We are often taught that our sexual thoughts and desires should be closeted and hidden away, and that we are somehow less civilized when we become vulnerable or even outspoken as to our sexual and sensual desires.

But as a woman who has now grown up in the best sense of the word, I can say without a doubt that my sensual and sexual nature is deeply rooted with my spiritual side, which allows me to feel more centered, grounded, and at the same time, effortlessly serene.

While there are countless articles and books about how to have a better sex life with various methods, pamphlets with ‘how-to drawings’ for sexual positions, as well as endless porn and seduction materials about the act itself, the truth is that the best reason to have sex is for a more spiritual self.

And yes, I am serious, in a serene and spiritual manner of course. This does not mean that one has to achieve a level of religious or spiritual awareness that seems unrealistic, uncomfortable or unnatural—it simply means that one can learn to achieve a more spiritual sense through fostering a healthy and intimate sexual energy and bond with one’s lover and self.

According to Deepak Chopra, M.D., a universally respected doctor, spiritual philosopher and author, “Sexual energy is the primal and creative energy of the universe, and in humans, sexual energy can be creative at all levels-physical, emotional and spiritual.”

In his book, Kama Sutra,’Chopra wrote:

“In any situation—where we feel attraction, arousal, awakening, alertness, passion, interest, inspiration, excitement, creativity, enthusiasm—in each of these situations, sexual energy is at work. Whenever we feel these states of awareness, we must put our attention on the energy that we are experiencing, nourishing it with our attention, experiencing it with joy and keeping it alive in our awareness.”


The next time that you feel like practicing yoga, meditating or enjoying the calm surroundings of nature, try and remember that the feeling of a healthy and wonderful sex life can be just as transcendent and spiritual. Do not close the doors to yourself as a sexual being, as it is a natural and healthy pleasure that has been given to humans that can bring you to the highest of places.

One Thing You Can Do:

Set aside a few times a week in which you allow yourself the feelings of being a sexual and sensual being. Play sultry music, wear something beautiful, read some erotic poetry, drink something tasty, and enjoy the gifts of your naturally sensual self simply alone or with your lover. This will help you to feel more relaxed, centered and able to deal with all of the chaos and noise that is a part of daily life.

Chopra also said, “Sex is a means of escaping our little self or ego. It is many peoples’ only experience of meditation.”

Indeed my friends. So what are you waiting for?

Love elephant and want to go steady?

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Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Michael Pekasa/Pixoto

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