The conversation in our head is never-ending.
Once upon a time, I thought my yoga practice would eliminate the mundane, the redundant and the constant badgering of my monkey mind, but I was ever so wrong. The only way I found peace was when I realized I could flow with my thoughts: one to another, just like the movement of Vinyasa…and let it be. Acceptance, not elimination, reigns in the flow.
If we pay attention to our thoughts, we will really learn a lot about ourselves.
I get a constant giggle and often wonder, Where did that come from? I have also learned through yoga to be a bit gentler, kinder and more forgiving to the thoughts that can destroy my inner sanctuary.
This didn’t happen over night. It was a long process coupled with ridiculous amounts of mental pain and my love of movement. And learning to just understand that I have a bazillion thoughts a day and I get to chose which ones I will use and which ones I will discard.
The amount of toxicity that comes in is mind-blowing. It could load a landfill in a few hours.
With some help from the great Masters (and leaving the drama behind), I finally figured out that stillness of the mind doesn’t equate with seriousness—and it certainly doesn’t apply to our thoughts. It is finding the peace inside as we just observe what we think, and how we feel about what we think. Then, with a calm perspective and a clean and clear grasp we can see: all we are, is all we are (which is more than enough). And all those thoughts then become nothing.
Let them be nothing.
When this settled in, I was home.
Before yoga: warp speed.
I have to get the market. Where is my other sock? This is stupid. I need to vacuum. I miss my Dad. My leg is sore. I am thirsty. I haven’t seen my Sister in a while… Where are my car keys? How many kilowatts in a nanosecond? That color is odd. I want new panties. A chocolate milkshake sounds divine right now…divine? Who says divine? It is too early. It is too late! My cat is so cute. I don’t like this song. Clowns are freaky. I want to go to Circ de Soleil—I should have been in the Circ. It’s been a while since I have climbed anything. Oh, Utah! That’s a great idea!
During yoga: in sync with my breathing.
Stretch. I hear my heart. This feels good. I don’t like warrior 2: my thighs are shaking. Thank god for triangle. Breathe. Oops! Sweat in the eye—that stings. She has such a beautiful yoga butt. I don’t have a butt…well, I do, but it is little and kind of old…stop judging! Crap—chair pose, deeper? Okay, deeper…Breathe. Oh, this feels sooo good. I wonder if my sock is still in the dryer. I am a little stiff today. Hmmm, what’s for lunch? Plank is revealing some daze…feeling strong, feeling happy. Om…sweet savasana.
After yoga: in gratitude, I slow down.
Whew! That rocked! I stink. I need to vacuum. I am thirsty. I love her hugs. I am blessed—feeling good, feeling worked. Oh, my goddess! I have to work! No, I get to work. Later. I am hungry. What’s for lunch? Don’t drink your calories…that is great advise but a mocha sounds awfully nice right now. Naw, soup…I have to get to the market…. Big sigh.
You see? It never ends.
Yet, what transpires is acceptance (when we let it)—mind/body/soul as we find that tolerance of our inner workings—and especially staying with the giggle. There is, of course, a time, a place for somber reflection—that is life—but the sooner there is a smile attached to the crazy thoughts we all have, the easier life becomes. I liken my mind to a Fellini movie and when I observe what is going on inside me, outside me, it is readily apparent I don’t need drugs to be high and experience another dimension.
Remember: thoughts become things if we let them. This is the most powerful, mystical, super human resource we have. Use it wisely.
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